DEAR DIARY

MY SALVATION

Dear Diary,

It's been a while since I wrote in you. I was uhhh... Kind of busy, I am really sorry to leave you alone.

Humans are really weird, right??
When they have everything they tends to forget the people who were with them from the starting, and once they lose everything they tends to go to those people whom they abandon.

Well I am also a human only, you were with me when I had nothing, you were with me when I had everything and now again......

I have fallen and again I am standing at the first block of the life's stair, I am glad among all the other people you are still with me.

I never thought that one mistake will cost me my everything. If I were to know I wouldn't have done that, i wouldn't have given my heart any right to choose her......

Because of her I lost everything, her love cost me everything. I was quite fine before she came but was on seventh heaven after she came and was in a dark pit of sorrow and anger when she left. I never mind when people called me heartless or selfish and many other rude things, because that's what I was. I was untouchable, unbreakable, I made myself like that. But I let my guards down, I wanted to be better for her again I wanted that sweet, caring old me to resurface again.

I don't know if I regret looking at her smile or I am disappointed in me for loosing myself in her smile. That smile, that forking heavenly smile. Still my hearts melt when I think about that smile those lips so soft, small and beautiful on my lips. wish I could feel them again.........

As you already know how I started my journey, a poor 18 year boy, homeless, starving when jumped into a fighting ring. I reborn from that ring. I got beaten up I took all the blows, kicks but I didn't loose hope I was paid to loose, but at that time something just clicked in me and just one blow from me and my opponent was lying down almost lifeless. I saw my employer angry but I felt powerful at that time and when I came out of that ring i was totally a different person, I was born a monster I was ruthless and I build my own mafia.

That little, sweet and caring 18 year boy was lost in that ring, until she came and took that boy out fighting all my monsters. But seems like I was satan's favourite. He didn't want me to love and care.

It was our one year anniversary, I was waiting for her to come home from work. I told her many time she don't need to work I earn enough. But like an independent, bold and confident girl she is she worked. I can never forget that moment when she came to me and shouted on me for letting her work and how she is independent and she can take care of herself .

Seems like i should have cared for her a little and it was my fault that I ignored the fact that I was in mafia and she was just a girl with dreams and ambitions who wanted to live and I became so selfish and kept her all for myself, forgetting the fact that I had a lot of enemies now. I promised her I will protect her, keep her safe ignoring the confusing look on her face as if asking me from whom I want to protect her from.

But she wasn't to be protected from the world. It was me from whom she must be protected. But I was so blind in love I was so drown in her that I didn't see the danger coming towards me through her. I couldn't believe I saw those sparkling eyes die in front of me and I couldn't do anything.

Even through her dying eyes and dying soul, she smiled looking at me. That smile was saying only one thing "I LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER". and right now there is nothing in me but a threatening fire which will burn till I take revenge not for her. She would never want me to take revenge....

But for me, as you know ,I am selfish, and something very precious to my heart and love has been taken away from me and for that i will take vengeance.

I will make that person feel how hell feels like. I will make him suffer twice and thrice the pain he gave me.....

I just miss her a lot but still feel her presence in my house, near me, within me. She has marked my soul, and always and forever I am her's and she is mine. I will not move on, I will not let her go away from my body I will not let her fragrance die ever.

I was her sun, She was my moon.

I was war, She was peace.

I was disaster, She was beauty.

I was sorrow, She was happiness.

SHE WAS MY SALVATION, I WAS HER DESTRUCTION.................