LOSING, BABY｡ CRIMINAL MINDS

FIFTEEN

FIFTEEEN. A DANCE FOR TWO

IT SEEMED THAT AS THE YEARS PASSED, IT GOT A LITTLE EASIER TO REACH OUT AND TOUCH HIM. He welcomed it now, sometimes he even instigated it. He'd absentmindedly reach over and play with her fingers, particularly when he was deep in thought. She didn't mind it so much anymore either; she'd let him take it as she looked over grade books and reading logs.

Sometimes she'd catch herself looking at him from the corner of her eye and she would notice how his hair was falling into his face, especially when he had a book in hand. His lips would move at a fast pace as he read, taking in the information at breakneck speed. His brown locks were longer now, growing outwards rather than downwards. He no longer bothered to gel back his hair so in its place were fluffy curls, which always made her smile.

From a surface level, it didn't seem like the pair would gel too well. But, it was moments when they were alone that truly allowed them to connect, especially where Spencer knew he was safe and couldn't be teased.

So much had happened since Katie. It all seemed to be affecting Spencer, and it only fuelled his need to have his guardian angel at his side. He'd been shot, nearly lost JJ and Derek on separate occasions, and was now currently searching for a bunch of serial killers who had escaped a maximum security prison. It wasn't exactly a party at the Behavioural Analysis Unit.

But, he never complained. Other agents had come and gone, including Alex Blake, Kate Callahan, Tara Lewis, Luke Alvez, and the newest addition, Marnie Simpson. They were all kind and intelligent, but the job took its toll on every single person who did it. It had even gotten to be too much for Derek, who had quit after the birth of his son. 

Daisy had left the unit to work as the on-site therapist, which meant she had more flexible work hours and could take care of Jack and Grace, the latter of which was approaching four and talking almost as much as her mother.

Things were good. They were fine. Well, not really. Aaron had a brief incident with an unsub nicknamed Mr. Scratch the previous year which left him slightly traumatised. It didn't help that Scratch was one of the inmates who had escaped during the aforementioned riots. It wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows for the Hotchner-Alvarez clan.

But for now, there was a moment of peace that Spencer and Rhea could share. They were lying top-to-toe on the floor of the woman's living room, the custom album he'd gotten her for her birthday playing on her turntable.

"So, what is this supposed to do?" Spencer asked, his hands clasped over his stomach. He had never been one to do things like this to relax, he would rather have reread one of his favourite books or watch an obscure movie. But, Rhea had insisted, and he found that he couldn't say no.

"You just have to listen to the music and let yourself feel whatever it is you've been bottling up," she was staring at the ceiling, mesmerised by the ceiling fan. When she was little, she always thought she'd be killed by one falling on her, but now she thought the spinning mechanism was enchanting. "You don't have to think too hard, or concentrate on anything other than what the song is making you feel."

Spencer propped himself on his elbows to make a comment, but when he looked over, he saw that her eyes had fluttered shut and she was focusing on her breathing. He realised that it was a form of meditation for her. This thought made him remember something. "You know, meditation is often thought to be more effective than sleep? The peaceful state of mind can help reduce high blood pressure and even increase neuroplasticity in the brain."

"It can also help improve memory and slow down neurodegenerative disease. It's a good stress reliever, too. Why do you think I wanted you to try it, Doctor Reid?" she didn't open her eyes, yet her tone of voice remained incredibly patient. It made the corners of his lips twitch. He liked how she didn't get annoyed at him and his rambling. By now some of his other friends would have roll their eyes and told him to be quiet. "It's nice to just sit back and do nothing."

"How do you..." he trailed off. Rhea finally lifted her head and gave him her full attention. He hesitated, averting his eyes. "How do you only feel the good things?"

Rhea sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees. "The longer you ignore the negative thoughts, the longer they're going to stay. The only way you can move on is acknowledging that they're there."

Spencer dipped his head, feeling everything going fuzzy. Rhea noticed that he was dissociating, and she shuffled in front of him, reaching for his hand. "I'm sorry."

"Spencer," she wrapped her around his shoulders and pulled him into her chest. Her skin was soft, and he found that he quite liked listening to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. "I'm going to start charging you a dollar every time you apologise for something that's not your fault."

"Sorry," he muttered, and Rhea lightly smacked his arm, igniting a choked laugh from the man. "Sorry."

"That's two bucks," she hummed, her hands finding his hair. It smelled like vanilla and lavender, meaning that he'd swiped some of product again. "I'll make a jar that you can top up whenever I see you."

Spencer smiled, his eyes closed and crinkling at the edges.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Never Too Much by Luther Vandross began to play. Her head began to nod unconsciously to the sound of the upbeat guitar, and she got to her feet, urging Spencer to get up with her.

"I can't dance," he shook his head, and Rhea scoffed, her hips swaying back and forth to the beat. He watched her with an amused expression,

"So what?" she chuckled, holding her hands out for him to take. He was reluctant, but allowed her to help him stand. She didn't even have to pull him closer for him to stand only an arms length from her. He was still a tad awkward and incredibly respectful, but there was something about her that made him feel comfortable enough to sway back and forth with her.

She wasn't the best dancer, but she clearly had some moves when she wanted to. He'd seen them, and he'd forced himself to look away because the way she moved her hips made him feel something he didn't recognize. But here, she was just waving her limbs around and singing the lyrics slightly off key. She turned the volume up and let the music take over the room, grinning his way.

Rhea had gotten used to ignoring the heat in her chest when she got too close. She couldn't remember when she'd first felt it, but it was yet to go away.

And when she opened her eyes and saw him staring her way with a bright smile, it hit her once more. She hated it. She didn't want to feel this way about him, because she knew that it could never work. Not after Maeve, anyway. 

So, she forced herself to do it again. To swallow what had been building up over the years for the satisfaction of having him in her life. Because he was her friend, and she was his. 

That was how they worked. 

★☆

there's too much spencer drama to cover every season so wooo time skip!!!!

also marnie made a small feature in like a girl and i love her so here she is again as a field agent

and andrea bang is who portrays her!!!