In Denial

Chapter 15

ONE MONTH LATER

Gulf's POV

I am four months pregnant now and it's been one month since Mew and Tar started dating...yes Mew is dating now.

It feels like he's changed now...like he has been avoiding me and I feel like he's only still taking care of me because of his child...my child...now suddenly someone else will play the role of a mother to our child, I know that I wouldn't be in the life of my child but I don't understand why I feel so much pain knowing that my child will see Tar as his mother and he might be Mew's wife.

Mew just came back few minutes from seeing Tar..I still wonder if Mew do have sex with Tar because we still do have sex but now it's just sex...I mean before it feels like something more, I don't understand all this...I just feel like crying thinking about all this, I understand that he does it just because of the child but it hurts still, I guess I have to stop this because it's hurting me a lot. He used to be so nice and close to me, it hurts me seeing him with Tar, he rarely smiles like before when he's with me but smiles widely when with Tar, when Tar comes here I stay in my room so he wouldn't notice my pregnancy but I do sneak out sometimes to see what they were doing..just like I'm doing now.

I am tip toeing to check on them but froze at what I saw...Mew and Tar were kissing!!!...they are dating yes I know...it's expected of him to kiss and make out but seeing it with my own eyes hurts so damn much...have never felt this type of pain, I quickly went to my room and locked it then rushed to the bathroom and put on the shower so it could cover the sounds of my cry because I can't hold back any of my cries now...it's hurts so damn much...yes I'm in love with Mew...but what now...it's one sided...it's complicated.... I'm married to Kris his friend..what a life.

After some minutes I left the bathroom then changed my wet clothes to dry one and slept off with swollen eyes...Mew really hurt me though unintentionally..it's best for me to block those feelings, give birth and leave his life.

I woke up to some knock sounds and saw that it was night already...I then opened the door and saw it was Mew.

"Hey Gulf, it seemed like you were sleeping so I prepared dinner..let's go eat but why are you looking pale" Mew asked sounding like he's worried..oh I forgot it's because I'm carrying his child.

"I'm fine Mew, just tired and hungry" I replied and walked past him, I really don't know how to look him after seeing what happened today.

MEW'S POV;

It's been a month since Tar and I started dating, he's really a nice person, so jovial but that romantic feelings for him can't still surface, all I think of is Gulf, I even started avoiding him because of it and I really feel bad about it, he's been looking kind of sad..am not sure though.

I always go out to spend time with Tar, he's been complaining that I don't touch him or even kiss just pecking him but that's because I can't feel anything apart from a friend's love for him...I also feel guilty for using him like this...Gulf and I still have sex, the only difference is that I try to keep my feelings aside...my feelings are still growing and I don't know what to do again.

Today Tar came to visit, Gulf now stays in his room so Tar won't notice his stomach but I have this feeling that Gulf doesn't like Tar, he has been behaving somehow since we started dating..I just can't place my fingers on it.

I was chatting with Tar and laughing at some jokes he was saying...before I knew what was happening he suddenly kissed me passionately, I had to kiss him back in order not to make him feel bad..but I regretted the kiss, I am really deceiving him and I hated myself for kissing someone who wasn't Gulf, then I quickly withdrew and brought up another conversation to divert my mind from the guilt I was feeling.

After Tar was gone, I went to check up on Gulf but the door to his room was locked which means he was asleep, I left him and went to prepare dinner.

After some hours, I was done then went to knock on Gulf's door..I have given him enough time to sleep and he must be hungry now.

I knocked, after a while he opened the door and I saw a pale looking Gulf and was immediately worried, I asked what was wrong but he just replied that he was fine and left for the dinning, seems like I made a great mistake by avoiding Gulf...we seem really distant to each other now, I don't even know what's going on with him, I'm feeling really bad as I do spend more time with Tar compared to him, I mentally promised to go back to my old ways...damn my relationship with Tar, I love Gulf and can't keep seeing him suffer silently with my child...I need to know what happened to him, maybe he had a fight with Kris but I hope I'm wrong because Gulf doesn't need many stress now.

After eating in a very quiet and tense atmosphere, I wanted us to watch a movie to lighten the mood but Gulf insisted on going back to his room because he was tired and wanted to sleep but why am I feeling like he's avoiding me now and being cold to me, I left him to go to bed because he was really looking tired and pale..he needed sleep, I will surely talk to him tomorrow about all this...I guess it's time to figure what this is all about, then I went to his room to see him already asleep then went to freshen up before going back to Gulf's room to cuddle him,then slept waiting the next day because we really needed to talk.