A Sweet Surrender

Ben

       

I watch Rey and Hux separate to let Rose pass for the third time. My lips lift at the corner of my mouth in a smile. They shouldn't be standing in the middle of the hallway anyway. This isn't a bar at happy hour for fuck's sake.

"Hux," I scream. "Get your ass back on this set now!"

"They just ran into the wardrobe room, boss, "My light director, Finn says.

"What," I yell."Get him back here now!"

Finn sprints into action and runs through the hallway to the wardrobe room.

I growl and spin on my heels from the hallway.

I said no none actors on my set while I'm filming. Rey is a distraction. She takes my attention away from directing this film. Her laughter. Her smile. Her smell. I keep my eyes from following her wherever she goes. I have to keep myself concentrated on what I'm doing. I feel her presence whenever she is around my set. Oh, Fuck! What is wrong with me? I am a grown-ass man. I'm not a love-sick teenager. Rey is my employee. She wouldn't want my baggage being an ex-marine. The PTSD I still struggle with continuously. I'm safe with Gwen's classic Chanel. Then Rey's delicious smell of green apples and vanilla. I overheard Rey tell Gwen, one day, the lotion is expensive. Rey buys it only when she has money left over after paying all her bills. I sigh. If, she was mine. I would buy her a lifetime supply.

One day, I smelled green apples. I looked up expecting pretty hazel eyes. Only to find sky blue eyes instead. I hid my disappointment and forced myself to smile back at Gwen. I later found out that Rey gave Gwen the body lotion for Christmas that year. It is for the best though. It wouldn't do to pay more attention to the wardrobe assistant instead of the star of your film.

My thoughts wander to Gwen, my leading lady. The beautiful and statuesque Gwen Phasma. I am not stupid. I know everyone on set thinks I'm sleeping with Gwen. We are lovers. Let them think that. It's good publicity. The truth is I know Gwen wants to be more than just friends. She's propositioned me plenty of times. I always tell her no. It has always been my policy to never get involved with the leading lady while filming. However, she keeps trying. She leaves me little sexy texts messages and kissing me on the cheek. Gwen asks me to dinner and dinner. I join her only to just get away from seeing Rey on my set. I cover my face with my large hands. I sigh heavily. God, I got it bad.

Rey is 13 years younger than I am. She is my employee. I have to hide my feelings for her behind my dark sunglasses. I wore my dark glasses yesterday. She and Gwen were walking to the crafts table to find something to eat. Rey snatched an apple from the table and takes a big bite. I can still see the apple's, sweet juice spill down from Rey's soft pink lips unto her blouse. I shutter. I couldn't take it. I turned away. I had a hard-on all day long. I deliberately left my sunglasses at home, today not to make the same mistake. I don't need the distraction. All was fine until Rey answered. "Yes, My lord and master." I was through. I was in shock hearing those words come out of Rey's soft lips. I only could stare at Rey. My cock stiffened. She immediately turned it around as if it was a joke. Ha, just kidding boss. Rey, if you only knew how your words affect me. I want to make you do whatever nasty thing I ask. Would she approve of my secret lifestyle? No. Rey Nima is too young. She is too sweet for the dirty, nasty things I write about.

She will definitely slap my face. Call me a pervert. Never want to talk to me again. I write BDSM erotica under the name of Kylo Ren. Shit. Forget it Ben. It will never happen. I don't know when I began to notice the flecks of green in Rey's hazel eyes. Her soft pink full lips. Her sun-kissed skin. Her accent. Jesus. The English accent. It's so damn sexy. I could sit and listen to her talk all day. Her sense of humor. Rey is such a smart ass. I had to keep from laughing out loud. I couldn't laugh at her quip. Or it would expose my feelings for her. I passionately want and admire her. Shit. Ben. You're 36 years old and she's just a kid. She's 22. Too young. I feel old suddenly and perverted. I wipe my whole face down with one huge hand. I turn back to my actors. They are in a cluster discussing something, I can't hear. I clap my extraordinarily, huge hands together to get their attention. My cast jumps. I smile. I've always hated my huge disproportioned features. My big nose. My big hands until now.