burn. [Technoblade AU]

•6•

Bad's POV

Groggy as ever, I lifted my head from my aching wrist. It was bent in an almost impossible position. I winced and bent it, hoping to tone down the pain by just a little bit.

Zak was still asleep, his chest rising and falling softly against the white hospital bed. My heart ached again.

I had fallen asleep.

That couldn't happen again. Because the next thing I knew, instead of the alarm clock I wake up to every morning, it would be Zak's heart monitor in a terrifyingly straight line.

My legs shook as I stretched and yawned. There was cold coffee beside my bed, and Zak's shoes were by the door- Which was something I hadn't noticed before.

"Good morning."

I felt my heart accelerate by about 50 beats, looking around. There was A6d, sitting in the chair with his arms folded and his legs dangling from the chair carelessly. My hands snaked up to my eyes, and I slowly wiped them.

He was gone.

"...Um"

Sheepishly, I scanned the room. The door was still closed, the curtain covering it so the lights inside of the hallway wouldn't blind them as they slept.

"Hello..?"

There was piecing silence. No footsteps, no air conditioning, no ambient sounds that would've been normal.

It was just the sound of eerie silence, sharp. It was obviously making itself known by sitting there. I relished in the negative silence, hearing it ring throughout the several halls of the hospital.

Staring at the marble floor, I tapped my feet, moving them to distract myself as silent tears spilled over, laying onto my cheeks. There was nothing I could do, everything seemingly my fault.

I just knew I didn't want to look at Zak again. Too much guilt rested where he slept, unconscious or asleep. Either one, I wasn't a doctor. I was just trying to help, but if I had let him go without telling him to stop, he would've made it.

However many times people told me it wasn't my fault didn't make it better. It's not that hard to lie, is it now? That wouldn't make it acceptable, even if it's just a white lie.

I couldn't stop crying. Even if I didn't show the slightest emotion, even if my face was as deadpanned as could be, I still felt horribly guilty.

My sleeve made a sad attempt to wipe the river I cried, but it only soaked it up for a few minutes before it came back. Sitting here was useless. I was completely helpless.

What started out as a wholesome- Well, maybe not wholesome, yet annoying in Zak's own cute way had turned into some big accident. It wasn't meant to happen.

And now, here I was, crying uncontrollably as the one and only friend I had was hit by a stupid fucking car.

I wish I could go back, I wish I could just change it. I wish I could change everything I ever said or any fight we ever had, I wish I could tell him how much I loved him and I wish that-

I wish that I got hit instead.

My heart was shattered, but I was determined that I would show no emotion. There are worse things that are happening to other people in the world.

But my god, this had to be the worse thing that had happened to me in my whole entire existence.

What the hell was I supposed to do now? What if he died, laying there, cold on the stupid hospital bed I had put him on.

Who would I go to?

He had been the one to cheer me up when I was sad. When I was bored, he was there to play with me and have a good time. Sure, he could be annoying but we had so many inside jokes. So many memes, and even if they drove me insane, what was a little pain if it made someone happy?

I wanted more than just for him to come back- I wanted him to be okay. I wanted him to live, I wanted him to survive.

A piece of my heart broke off and shattered into dust every time I thought about him more and more.

My head was buried in my hands, and I was having a hard time keeping my breathing steady.

How could I deal with the fact I might never talk to
him again?

Every memory with him, every laugh or word he spoke was engraved into my mind and I couldn't shake any of it. When I tried to get all of them out of my head, only more flooded back in.

How many tweets I had made with him, all the videos, all the pranks and calls, the countless hours we had spent on Teamspeak.

At one point I had even tried to stay up as late as I could with him. It felt so empty now, and all I could do is sit there and cry.

I fucking hated myself for falling asleep. All he had done for me and I couldn't even stay awake for him?

Random incoherent mumbles tumbled out of my mouth as I rocked back and forth.

"Oh my god, all I'm asking you Zak is that you'd please wake up.."

I looked towards the window at the sun which was beginning to rise. Guilt upon guilt, conflicted feelings, piles of regret built like boulders within me.

"Zak please, just wake up. . ."