sympathy

Chapter Four

        I couldn't believe a single thing that was happening. Maybe I was still experiencing the side effects of the drugs you gave me the first day. You did say hallucinations were apart of it. This was all just a dream. You weren't him. You weren't the boy I had called my best friend once.

        You weren't. You aren't. 

        In the middle of the night I broke. I woke up screaming, desperate for an escape, no matter what that truly meant. I had to make the pain go away. You came in and I fought you off until you picked me up and locked me in the bathroom.

        I screamed and punched the door but it wouldn't budge. You locked it from the outside. It was no use. I was trapped. There was another door at the back of the room, which led to the toilet. I went back to the bathroom and looked through the cabinet above the sink. I hurled every little thing I found in there against the door with all of my strength. 

        A bottle of antiseptic shattered and went everywhere, with it's strong scent suffocating the air. You were pacing back and forth outside the door, I could hear each step you took. You were worried about me. 

"Don't, George," you warned. "You'll use all of our supply."

        Our. That word brought the taste of vomit to my mouth. I screamed for help until my throat burned. Not that it was any use. You were right. It was just us out there, in the desert. No one else was out there. Just you. 

        I banged my arms against the door until they had bruises all the way to my elbows, and bits of skin peeled off around my wrists. I was desperate. At any moment you could come in there with a weapon and take this pain away like I slightly wanted, but I knew you weren't thinking about hurting me. Not anytime soon, at least. 

        I looked for anything to use against you. I found a piece of glass from the bottle I shattered. The door jolted and made me flinch as you rested your forehead against it. "Just calm down," you said with a shaky voice. "There's no point."

        You sat in the hallway. I knew because I could see your hands on the floor through the crack underneath the door. I sat with my back against the wall. After a few seconds, I heard a soft click as you unlocked the door.

"Just leave me alone, please," I pleaded.

"I can't."

"Please."

"No."

        "What do you want?" I was sobbing, curled into a ball. I gripped the shard of glass tightly; it drew a little bit of blood. That was when something else in my mind took over. It didn't feel like I was myself, but at the same time I wasn't thinking. It felt like I was meant to do something.

"I won't kill you," you said. "I won't, okay?"

        I didn't believe a word you said. I didn't believe who you were, or your intentions. The tears came heavier, and I lost it.

        You became quiet for a long time. I wondered if you left. Part of me missed your voice filling the silence mixed with my cries. I had a firm grip on the shard of glass still. The other part of my mind took over. I held it up to the light that was shining through a crack in the ceiling. Tiny rainbows filled the room. I turned it so that one reflected on my wrist. I held the shard to my wrist, and pressed until a small bubble of blood appeared.

        I held the glass above my left wrist, wondering if I could do it, then brought it down slowly. I slit a line into my skin, sideways. The blood started to pour out. It didn't hurt. I couldn't feel it. I was completely numb. They were too numb from banging on the door. I gasped as two drops hit the floor, not believing who you were or what you had done. You later convinced me it was a side effect of the drugs, but I don't know. It felt like it was me. I was determined to make it all disappear. I was ready to do the other wrist. But then you rushed in.

        The door swung open and instantly you were taking the glass from me. You picked me up in your arms and wrapped your strength and warmth around me. You sat me down in the shower.

        I could feel each drop of water mix with the blood. I screamed at you to get away from me, still determined. I was desperate to die. Right then. I didn't care about anything more. I liked the water being there even though it stung. It separated us. It felt like an ally.

        You took a towel from a box that was sitting nearby. You got it soaked with water and then wrapped it tightly around my arm. The entire time I was being a pain in the ass. I would back away every step you made to get closer to me. I went back and back and back until I hit my head on something. Then after that, there was nothing. I was out like the electricity during a storm.   

        I was gone. 

Total Word Count: 900