Pain in my ass!!!

Its a good day to start living!!

Maia's prov.. after my horrible flashback I realized I was staring at Hen's kids creepily because all I can see is my sister but I need to snap out of it and start living in the now and deal with my very real problems like putting a innocent man in jail and not knowing where my abusive boyfriend is who isn't in jail yet and needs to be and act extremely grateful to Hen and her wife for letting me stay here for a while till I get back on my feet and figure out a new place to live far and most importantly some where that Paul can't find me. Anyways Hen's wife Karen walked up to me and asked how I am doing and if I was hungry and if I need something to eat or drink, and I said yes please that would be great and so I follow her to the kitchen where her kids were sitting at the table and I could smell she was already making food, so I gave her kids and smile and sat down at one of the chairs and Karen asked me what I could like to drink and I said just water please and I was trying to get the nerve up to ask if she knows anything about what is going on with Buck and if he has gotten released yet. So she brings me the cup of water and I wrap my hand around it nervously and stare at the water for a while till I finally got up the courage to ask even though she probably won't know, So I looked up and looked at her and said I don't know if I can ask you this but have you heard anything about Buck? Before she answers the question she looks at the kids with a concerned parent looking and I know what the look is it means she doesn't want to talk about it in front of the kids but she will without saying exactly what happened because its not something kids should know about. So she gets closer to me and says I haven't heard much and Hen doesn't always tell me everything but I promise we will tell you whenever we hear some thing. So I saw thank you and drink my water while I wait for dinner and then Hen walks in and asks how I am settling in and I said great just getting acquainted with everyone and getting to know Karen and the kids, she said great are we about ready to eat Karen? Karen gave her a nod and pulled out what looked like a casserole out of the oven and Hen starts setting the table while me and the kids sat there and I felt bad so I asked if I could help with anything and she said if you want to get everyone cups of water that would be great and Karen shows me where the cups are so grabbed some and started filling them up with water and I turned around and one of Hens kids started screaming and pointing at me and I didn't know why and neither did Hen or Karen and then the other kid yelled blood and I looked down and my stomach area and it was bleeding and both Karen and Hen both saw and ran to me and rushed me to there bathroom and told the kids to stay at the table and we will be back in just a second and every thing is okay, so they bring me to the bathroom and they told me to take off my shirt so they can look at what happened but we both guessed it was one of my stitches that broke open and started bleeding and Hen being a paramedic she knew that was exactly what it was and helped me a get a new bandage on it and told me to just be careful with my movements because she doesn't want me to rupture all my stitches that just got put in, and I thanked both of them again and we walked back into the kitchen and me and Hen sat down and Karen cut up the casserole and plated them and brought them to us and the kids and I thanked Karen and started eating and once we all started eating it got very quiet and a little awkward. After about 20 minutes or so there was still no conversations going not even the kids making any noise and then Hen finished her bite of her and said so Maia where are you originally from? and what made you want to be a firefighter? I said well I am from England lived there ever since I joined the... well anyways I'm from England and I wanted to be a firefighter because I wanted a job that meant something and especially that mean't helping other people and I had a few jobs before of course but they never gave me that accomplishment that was I looking for and then I saw a advertisment to become a firefighter and then the second I saw that I looked up classes and how much it would cost and I signed up for the classes immediately and thats how I met Buck if that wasn't clear the first day when me and Buck got assigned to the same station, anyways yeah thats about it and then I saw Hen nudge Karen and clear her throat and then almost immediately after Karen asked how I met Paul and I really didn't want to tell them and so I decided to just make something up because that story would entail me telling them about my journey in the army and I absolutely was not going there today, so I decided to go with a innocent little lie. So after I came up with the lie which I hope wasn't obvious I was thinking of my lie, anyways so I said that I met him at community college a couple years ago an been together since and then yeah you guys know how that ended. So after we ate and there attempt to get to know me better which was nice but kind of awkward, so I help them clean up and them and they show me to the guest room and after I got myself settled in and then went out and told them I was going to go out and buy a new phone and see if I can get my car and then said that I could take there car and that I could leave it at my old place and that they will come pick it up and I said thank you so much for your hospitality and kindness and I am going to immediately look for a new place as soon as I get my phone and car I promise I will be out of your hair soon enough. So they give the keys and I start with going to the store for a new phone and as I was browsing and then all of a sudden I ran into Captain Nash and honestly I didn't want to talk to him or any one else right now I feel super embarassed that they were the ones that answered the emergency call and that I now have one of his firefighters in a holding cell all because he was being nice and trying figure out if I was okay and now he's fucked because of me, anyways so I just put a smile on my face and say Hi! and he walks closer and says Hi Maia how are you doing? and I said as well as I can after well you know and then I decided to ask him about Buck, so I got up the courage to ask him. I looked straight in the eyes and I said have you heard any news about Buck? And he said actually a matter of fact we have and they let him out because there was no sign of him at the crime scene and he was at home all night and he has an alibi as well but he did say he saw you right before that happened and that you were mad at him for getting involved with your personal life and then you left and he had a guest over and hadn't left his house since then and then he got a call from me about us finding you and then he rushed to the hospital and you know the rest and I said thank you and then I said was he sent home then? and he said yes as far as I know he went home and I great thanks I want to go see him and apologize for all of this. Captain Nash didn't look thrilled at the idea of me going to apologize but I don't really care I need to apologize for everything that has been happened, so I thank him for telling me again and then say bye and walk to the car and put in Bucks address and start the car and drive off as I am driving there I start getting a pit in my stomach and I wasn't sure why but I couldn't shake it and I keep wanting to turn around but I knew apologizing is the right thing to do whether he accepts the apology or not, I was hoping the pit in my stomach would go away but it wasn't and I thought the reason I had the pit in my stomach because I was nervous to apologize since I haven't seen him since that night but all I can think about is what my sister said when I was dying in saw her in my dreams or whatever you want call that but I can't stop thinking about her saying that I must be blind because Buck really likes me which I still think is insane but I also can't stop thinking about how he lied to the nurse and said he was my boyfriend just so he could see if I was okay but before I could continue to think about all of this I realized that I pulled into Bucks apartment complex and I recognized his car which didn't help the pit in my stomach and then I realized it was finally time talk him......