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「𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧」
⠀ ≖ ⠀ ⠀
time seemed to slow again, as if his brain wanted to photograph this moment to always remind him about what could have been. there used to be a hope, a tiny flicker in the wind that carried him here today to reach out for what he wanted. now the wind only felt like a ghost, blowing past him ears and feeling both like a storm drowning out any thoughts and also a whisper telling him to leave faster.
his boot hit a puddle, looking much like his eyes at the realization that this was really it. it was over before it even began. that flower withered before he could even have the chance to pick it and make sure it bloomed okay.
jungkook would have kept leaving, but it's like a bird sang — and he was pulled from that storm blowing past his ears and he was drawn from his own thoughts. only to be drawn towards the source of the storm and all the pain that came with it.
it was taehyung yelling his name, screaming at him to stop and listen to him.
jungkook was so tired of listening. all he did was listen. he listened to jin to do something about it, he listened to namjoon to stop letting this game go on, he listened to taehyung whenever he said sweet things that drowned him more in this lie — he listened to his heart, and now it was breaking.
"stop it please." taehyung grabbed the mans arm and tugged, wanting him to turn around and listen to him for a second.
now he kind of hoped he didn't turn around, because jungkook looked mad, and it was a scary look on the mans handsome face. if only the tears in his eyes didn't betray that he wasn't only mad at taehyung.
"you stop taehyung." jungkook snapped. "i'm done. i'm done with this, i can't keep doing it." he was shaking his head as he spoke, looking anywhere else than at taehyung. it hurt too much to see the boy look at him like that, like he cared about him.
taehyung felt the panic start to rise in his throat. "what do you mean, you can't say that." he reached for jungkook again, only for the older to keep shaking his head and stepping back.
"tell me right now, tell me i mean nothing to you." jungkook said. "i will walk away and leave you alone. that's all it takes."
the pinch behind his eyes made taehyung swallow hard, biting down on the inside of his bottom lip. "that's not fair." he said, "it's not the same." he spoke, already feeling his voice wanting to crack and give up on him.
there were no words coming to him right now, nothing to make this okay and nothing that seemed right to say. all taehyung could do was blink and try not hurt jungkook more, more than he already has. "i cant say that. but i also can't-" he cut himself off, looking down and feeling the tears well. "i cant say there's a you and me either, not yet." saying the words out loud only made them more real, and that's why the first few tears fell when he blinked.
"you're wrong tae." jungkook said in a low, dark tone that made butterflies erupt in the youngers stomach. "there's a you and me alright. there will always be a you and me."
taehyung sniffled, already feeling his nose get congested from the emotion choking his throat and making it harder to breath. "but i have something with hoseok too." he whispered it, knowing it was the truth and knowing they both were aware of it.
jungkook was aware, clearly. and that's exactly why he was done with this.
"that's what you want?" jungkook asked, the way his jaw clenched and dark eyes narrowing in a way that showed the anger overpowering any other emotion he might have been feeling. it had taehyung wanting to cower under that stare, wanting the sweetness to come back and the pretty boy with flowers in his tattooed hands to be sitting on his step again. "you want someone who's always going to pick you second?" jungkook said, seeing the way the younger boy flinched at that.
"he's always going to pick you second." jungkook said. "and knowing that hurts like hell doesn't it?"
taehyung glared at the man, soft brown eyes no longer warm and inviting. "fuck off jungkook." he said, already feeling the pinch in his eyes and wave of more tears coming. he wasn't going to cry now, not when jungkook decided being an asshole was the way to go.
taehyung wanted to cry and hug jungkook. he wanted to apologize and have his forehead kisses and go inside and hug jungkook some more in his bed. he wanted everything that wasn't happening right now — he wanted the jungkook that only he got to see when they were kissing in one of their rooms, or sitting in his car at night with the orange glow around him. he wanted that jungkook right now.
"whatever." jungkook turned and started to walk away. "let me know if he thinks you or his other side piece is better after a long shift of selling screws." he said over his shoulder, not caring about the words meant to only hurt.
they definitely did, sending the stab straight to taehyungs heart and suddenly feeling no need to apologize or wish for any good to come out of this. "fuck you jungkook!" taehyung cried, feeling the way his nails dug into the palms of his hands. "why are you such a dick! why don't you let people see the good side of you." taehyung was so tired of this, tired of only having something beautiful with the man behind closed doors.
jungkook stopped on the sidewalk, looking back at the crying boy on his driveway and the sad flowers sitting on the step. his gaze softened for only a second, "because when people see good then they expect it."
"what's so bad about that." taehyung said. they were still so far apart, voices hoarse and eyes looking tired and sad at the other.
the ravenette could only shake his head, even chuckling a little at that. it wasn't a happy one, not even close. "look at where being good got me." he held his arms out to his sides, smiling at the younger before turning to leave for good.
"don't call me." taehyung said, "don't fucking talk to me." he stomped right past the flowers, heart breaking a little more and falling down to the petals on the steps.
if only he slammed the door a little sooner, not heard those words — maybe taehyung could pretend like jungkook didn't say he was okay with that, he never wanted to talk to him either. maybe he could pretend like they both didn't just break each other.
