I blame the moon | nct mark lee ff

☽ fourteen: no regrets? ☾

I ROLLED ONTO MY back and slowly blinked open my eyes, the events of last night suddenly flooding back and I sighed, running a hand over my face.

I turned to my side expecting to see Mark sleeping, but he was nowhere to be seen.

I looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath, in and out. I can't believe that happened, I thought to myself. I put my hands over my face and thought, so I really lost my virginity to Mark, huh?

I shut my eyes and without knowing, a tear fell down my cheek, thinking that he probably just wanted the sex, nothing new.

I sighed and grabbed my phone from the floor to see multiple messages about last night's party. Realizing we'd forgotten all about the party.

I put my phone back and stared at the ceiling again, smiling this time. You know what, I'm happy right now, and whatever mark's alterier motives are, I don't actually regret what happened. I'm glad it happened the way it did. I thought to myself before getting out of bed... only to remember that I was naked.

I looked around, none of mark's t-shirts were to be found. I couldn't go naked so I looked in his drawer and found a long-sleeved light blue shirt, which almost reached

my mid thigh. I put it on along with my underwear and went to find Mark.

The living room was empty so I went into the kitchen, to find him making eggs- or attempting to, anyways.

I walked over to stand beside him and looked at the pan, laughing out loud at what I saw. He turned around to look at me and his face turned red.

"you don't know how to make eggs?" I asked, while covering my mouth so as not to laugh.

He smiled at me, "um, well, you see.." he said, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

I went behind him, wrapping my arms around him and standing on my tiptoes in order to reach his neck, resting my chin on his shoulder.

"uhh... yeah we should probably order something to eat, the breakfast menu should still be open, right?"

He relaxed into my touch, and tilted his head, "breakfast? It's 1 in the afternoon".

At that I froze and stood back beside him, "what? What time did we get to sleep yesterday?"

He laughed at my response, about 4am"

I blushed, "riiight, umm, okay"

He turned his body so that he was facing me and put his hands on my waist, looking down at me with a serious expression on his face, "look, I know what happened last night was unexpected...To say the least but I just wanted you to know that it means the world to me that you trusted me with something so.. personal." he paused and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "I
know you said you don't date, so, um... I don't really know where to go from here..." he trailed off at the end.

I smiled up at him, wrapping my arms around his torso and resting my head on his chest, "thank you for everything, really. I've never felt like I did yesterday any other time in my life but, I just want to stay as friends. I'm just not ready to date anyone right now..."

I looked up at him to see him looking visibly sad, my heart aching but I knew had to say it.

I pulled away from him and said, "I'm gonna head out now, see you around" I said, turning on my heel as I felt tears pickling in my eyes, and got my clothes and phone from his room, walking out of the door.

As soon as his door closed behind me I sighed, resting my head on the doorframe and letting out a breath I didn't know I was even holding, and walked back to my apartment, kind of dissaointed he didn't come after me.

—— —— ——

MARK AND I HAVEN'T really spoken since I basically ran off on saturday morning. We avoided each other at school, even though we had multiple classes together throughout the day.

I still hung out with him and his friends but we were narrowly avoiding each other all day on both Monday and Tuesday.

Wednesday rolled around and we all agreed to go to the library to work on our project. Mark and I didn't say anything to each other the whole time.

I was packing up my stuff as we were done with the project and everyone else had already left. I was sad to see Mark go without me, hoping that he would have at least tried to talk to me about it.

I sighed as I walked out the library, heading to the train station.

Damn, I thought to myself, I did it again, didn't I? Falling too hard, too quick and then pushing someone I care about away because I panicked.

I sighed, taking a deep breath

as I looked up at the dark sky and put in my earphones, ready to get home.

——————

I WAS IN THE shower when I heard my phone ring. I reached out of the water and looked at the caller ID to see Mark calling.

I sighed and swiped, answering. "uh, hi"

"hi. I'm outside, can we please talk?"

I sighed, still wanting to avoid the situation.

"I'm in the shower. Can we talk another time?"

I heard him exhale on the other end of the phone. "I'll wait for you to finish, I just don't like how things have been between us since saturday. Can we talk it out, please?"

I gave in at his words. "fine. I'm coming"

I switched off the water and dried myself off before wrapping my towel around my body and going to the front door.

I bit my lip and opened it and, sure enough mark was standing there. I stepped aside to let him in, avoiding eye contact as I shut the door behind him.

I sighed and looked up at him, not at all ready for the conversation to come.