Flicker||TLOUII {Joel x Reader}

•19•

(D/N) = daughter's name

Staring up at the ceiling, (Y/N) wipes at the tears rolling down into her hair. Cries meet her ears and she smiles slightly, getting herself out of bed.

She yawns, pulling her hair up out of her face and clapping her hands. "Come on then, kiddo." She mutters, taking her baby out of the crib.

The new mom makes her way down the stairs, bouncing her bundle of joy on the side of her hip.

Joel could hear her footsteps and he can't help the smile forming on his face. His hands were in the soapy water, scrubbing dishes and he glances at his family once they enter.

"Hey, baby." He greets and she kisses him.

Humming slightly, (Y/N) turns on the radio and laughs, kissing her baby's hand and dancing around. Light giggles fill the air from their daughter and Joel turns to her.

"I'm liking those moves." He states and she raises an eyebrow.

"You mean these?" She questions and he laughs, drying his hands and wrapping an arm around her waist.

"You've got dishes to clean, mister." (Y/N) tuts, pulling away from his embrace.

"We're going to get some fresh air." She then states, starting to talk in a child like voice and taking (D/N) outside. Joel chuckles, turning back to the sink and watching them walk down the hill outside the window.

(Y/N) moves her way through the grass, her moves delicate and soft. Their daughter was pulling at the strands of hair, a grin on her face.

For a split second, the woman sees Ellie and she starts to hyperventilate. Memories of Ellie's beaten body, unmoving and laying in front of her. She stumbles her way to the side of their shed, sitting herself against it. (D/N) had started to cry and (Y/N) sat her on her lap against her knees. The film was still rolling in front of her eyes and she screams, clutching the sides of her head to make it stop, the tears falling faster and faster.

Joel's plate in his hand crashes to the floor, shattering into tiny, discarded pieces. He could hear her screams from inside the house. His heart was thumping and he grabs the kitchen knife, running outside.

He spots her in the distance and discards the knife and runs over, kneeling down and grabbing the sides of her face. "Hey, you're home. You're home and you're okay." He reminds her, forcing her to focus on his face. "Breathe, breathe."

"I can't. I can't." She tells him, struggling to catch her breath and he nods, remaining calm.

This was something that happened all too often and he takes crying (D/N) from his wife. Joel stands, gently rocking her but his eyes never leaving the broken woman on the floor. She had started to rub circles on her chest, over her heart, exhaling through her mouth.

"I'm sorry." She whispers, calming down.

Joel says nothing, sitting beside her and (D/N) had stopped crying, now chewing on the sleeve of her baby grow. He sighs deeply, placing a hand on her knee and they sit in a all knowing silence.

***
Joel leans his hunting rifle against the fence, reaching out for the front door when it opens to (Y/N).

"Hey, you were gone ages." She states, her eyebrows creased in worry. "There's someone here who wants to see you."

Intrigued, he follows her in, smiling once he spots Tommy in the chair holding his niece. Dina was in the other, staring with misty eyes at the baby girl.

"Hey, Tommy." Joel greets. "Dina." He nods.

"There you are." Tommy grins and (Y/N) takes (D/N) off of him, reaching a hand to help but he waves her off.

The two brothers hug and Tommy chuckles, pulling away and nodding to (D/N). "She gets more adorable every time I see her."

"Gets it from her momma." (Y/N) coos, Joel taking his baby's hand.

"The town good? Maria good?" He asks and Tommy sighs. "She's fine. We, um, we're taking some time apart."

"Aw, Tommy, I'm sorry." (Y/N) says and he shrugs. "Nah. We talked about it a lot and uh, it's what we both want."

The couple give each other a look, moving back to watch Tommy sit at their dining room table. Dina also makes her way over, pulling a map out of her bag.

"I want to show you something." She tells (Y/N). "Tommy's been putting out feelers for months now." She mutters, unfolding it.

"Yeah and this new guy heard my story. He told me about a woman that he traded with while he was moving through California. Described her as built like an ox, travelling with a kid with scars across his face."

(Y/N) balances (D/N) on her knee, glancing at Joel who stands behind her chair.

"He said they were living along this coast in a beached sailboat. Right here." Dina points on the map. "That's gotta be her."

The mom hugs her baby close, chewing on the inside of her cheek. Once Joel notices she wasn't arguing against he, he places a hand on the back of her chair. "We're done with that." He reminds them.

(Y/N) looks down at the floor, not wanting to face Dina's pleading look.

"I'm sorry." She whispers and Tommy sighs, Dina shaking her head as she leans back, her hand clenching into a fist.

"I can't go, Dina, you know that I would." Tommy tells her and she folds the map. "I know. It's not you I was hoping for."

(Y/N) gives a sympathetic smile. "Dina -"

"Reckon it's easy to forget about her when you're comfy out here with your new kid." She states, grabbing her bag and standing up.

"Hey." Tommy reaches out for her and she snatches her arm away, pointing accusingly at (Y/N).

"Tommy told me what you said. 'I'll make her pay'." Dina repeats her words. "(Y/N), you promised."

"Dina." Joel scolds and she scoffs. "What a joke." She throws open the front door, leaving without another word.

Tommy stands also. "She's not handled it well since we let Abby get away." He says and Joel nods, following his brother outside to the young girl.

Cradling her child, (Y/N) whispers 'ssh', repeatedly, trying to drown out as the pairing argue with Dina outside.

***
Later that night, (Y/N) awakens in a sweat. Breathing heavily, she looks down at Joel, his mouth open slightly and snoring. Running a hand over her mouth, she gets out of bed and grabs the side of the crib. (D/N) lies peacefully and so the woman makes her way downstairs.

Her bare feet pads against the stone floor, only one thing on her mind. She grabs a bag off the hooks on the way past, gently placing it on the floor. Packing it up, she is just about to put a pistol in when she hears Joel behind her.

He eyes the bag, saying nothing. "Been a while since (D/N) stayed asleep for this long."

"She's fine." (Y/N) grumbles and there's silence before she looks at the pistol in her hand. "I have to finish this."

"You don't owe Dina anything." Joel is quick to  argue.

"I love you -"

"I don't see you staying." He counters. "And I sure as hell ain't sittin' around thinking you're fucking dead the entire time."

"I don't plan on that."

"Yeah? Neither did Jesse and neither did Ellie."

Gritting her teeth, (Y/N) grabs her back and Joel strides forward, grabbing her forcefully by the face. He tilts her to look him in the eyes. "We have a family." He whispers.

"Ellie - she was my family."

Joel steps back from her. "(Y/N), she's gone and you have fucking us now."

"I can't force you to come, but -"

"You know damn well I would." Joel rubs his eyes and (Y/N) caresses his cheek, kissing him softly.

"I have to do this." She whispers, turning to the door and Joel rolls his eyes, loading up his rifle.

"At least let me get Tommy to babysit."