I'm Fine

Chapter 13

Izuku POV
After dinner, and getting to know Todos siblings. Me and Todo helped with the dishes and picking up leftovers. After helping and thanking Fuyumi for dinner Todo and I went back upstairs to his room.

His room was really simple. Like- really really simple. It's literally a modern Japanese room. He has a futon in the middle a low desk with a cushion under it. That was about it besides a small bookshelf on side of the desk.

It fit his personality, well just his outer personality, he's very easy to please and is a really simple guy, he just has really complex motives and a complex background.

I'm lucky to have met Todo, he really is sweet. And I wouldn't of had a place to go if I hadn't met him.

"Sooooo, you wanna keep zoning out or do you wanna do something?" he gets in front my face looking into my eyes.

"Oh sorry haha I was just thinking about some things." I say smiling sheepishly.

He sits back down in his original spot nodding quietly.

"Are you ok?" Todo asks quietly. We make eye contact and I don't know what to say.

What am I suppose to say 'ahaha you know kinda feeling like I could cut myself and slit a vein and watch the world burn because my mom died' hell no that's just pathetic.

I look down on the floor tearing up from that simple question.

"I-.. I really miss her." I say quietly my voice breaking as I hold back tears.

It's funny how such a simple sentence can hold so much meaning. It's funny how a simple question can have such great impact. I chuckle bittersweetly , the irony is so fucking real.

I hear small movements nearing me but I don't dare to look up or else my tears might fall. So I stay looking to the floor messing with my fingers hoping my anxiety calms down.

Then I feel two arms wrap around me cautiously. Almost as if I could break at any moment. I guess he was right to do so though, I really am a ticking time bomb.

"Izuku.. it's ok to miss her you have every right to be sad, and it's ok to be sad for a bit, just don't sit there for to long or else you might become stuck." Ive heard similar words before, from my mom, and Pinterest because I don't have many real life people I actually know.  Yes the internet plays a huge roll in how I think, I'm sorry not everyone can have connections especially since I'm a dumb nerd and a nobody.

Those words struck me hard and before I knew the tears started to fall silently. I sniffle quietly hugging todo back clutching him as if my life depended on it.

He quietly rubbed my back whispering sweet nothings in my ear till I stopped crying and eventually fell asleep.

Todo is a really good guy and I don't know what I'd do without him. I'm really glad he's my friend.

And I'm really glad we bumped into each other that day.

Time skip to the morning~ no todo and Izu will not get together just friendship growing and stuff plus I like fluff I think it's nice and I'm lonely and on the brink of dying so bear with me~~~~~~~~~

I woke up not on my futon but actually in todos arms in his bed. I didn't mind his bed was unreasonably comfortable and I felt oddly safe in his arms. But then again it's most likely because the only affection I've gotten from a different human was just hugs and the occasional kiss on the head from my mum. I could fall back asleep easily but I guess not since I'm already up. I might as well just stay here since I don't wanna wake up todo, I've caused him enough trouble as is intruding in his room and crying on him then passing out from exhaustion.

I really can't complain though considering I slept really well. Like realllllllly well that was like the best sleep of my life. And I feel very refreshed but I probably look like stale bread in a dumpster from crying. My eyes feel puffy and my nose is stuffy and my eyes are crusty.

I yawn quietly rubbing my eyes. I would stretch but I don't want to wake up todo. So I sit there desperately wanting to crack my back but waiting till Todo wakes up.

Although I don't know when he went to sleep. And I'm sure I was heavy to carry to bed so I'll just suffer for a bit. It's honestly the least I can do.

As I wait I look around- well I say around more like at the bed and Todos sleeping figure. He looks- he actually looks just like he does when awake his eyes are just closed. The only difference is that he doesn't look as tense.

I smile, I'm glad he can sleep and isn't as tense around me anymore.

My eyes flicker to todos arms moving bringing me closer to him, I feel like he cuddles something usually so that might be why he's hugging me closer. I giggle for such a laid back guy but it is always nice to hug something while sleeping, it kinda makes you feel less lonely. (not guaranteed I cuddle things then cry because I'm lonely pls send help)

It's weird I can hear his heart beat slowly and it's very calming. I don't think I've ever been so comfortable around another person it makes me happy. I do wish sometimes I could be a extroverted popular guy that everyone talks to and is loved by everyone. But that's only sometimes, if anything I just want one maybe two friends, two really good friends that I can talk to anytime anywhere and feel safe around. I feel like I want to much and two good friends are hard to come by but I think Todo and Kacchan might be everyone I need.

Of course it'd be nice to have a lot of friends, but that's to much to keep up with and I still want time to myself and be able to breathe, to many people are trouble and that's how drama starts and I do not want that. I smile to myself happy. I feel sad my mum's not here. But I feel content?

I dont know  if  it's because I've made up with Kacchan, or if it's because I cried so much last night, or maybe it's because I met Todos family. Hell it could be I'm sleeping over at Todos for the first time and feel closer with him. I don't know but I like this feeling.

Maybe things do get better.  I close my eyes smiling as a tear rolls down my cheek. Todos heartbeat lulling me to sleep.

A/n
Ahaha ahaha ahaha ahaha I'm sorry nobody has a love interest I swear it's just friendship at it's finest form

Plus I know I'll never have this so writing about it is nice

And I'm haha I know it's short (Lowkey only a 1000 words) but I'll definitely do more with this book :D (pls don't be disappointed I'm already a disappointment)

Thank you for reading this tho :) your all awesome,valid, and fucking cool and I love you all and hope you have a merry christler