Sleepless Nights: Jinlia One Shots

Not Too Soon

In the beginning, there was everything the ancient human race needed; food, water, fire, biotic and abiotic things... you know, the basics. No internet and phones, well that's because they haven't discovered and invented things yetㅡ Inventions and discoveries that will bring glory and doom. The human race will eventually be annihilated, may it be because of war, natural disaster, biological mutation and dysfunctionㅡ or maybe the lord will then come down and settle on earth, who knows?

There was more to come, and none to be remembered.

Oblivion. There would be oblivion.

And what Ryujin feard was the process of it. Dying and death and oblivion itself ㅡ to be specific.

Ryujin feared that no one would remember who Shin Ryujin and Choi Lia are. Wereㅡ when the time comes.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Lia, who was laying beside Ryujin in their shared bed, grew concerned as tears started to descend down Ryujin's features. One moment, they were silently watching The Lion King on TV, and now Ryujin was sobbing softly.

Lia sat up and guided Ryujin's head onto her lap. She caressed her cheeks, wiping the tears away while humming an almost silent note. The sound coming from the television faded and all Lia could hear was Ryujin and Ryujin alone.

A few changes of positions later, Ryujin's tears died down. She was now sitting up next to Lia whose hands were draped around her shoulders. Ryujin gathered the strength to speak up about her fears as both girls had promised to eachother. They promised to communicate and compromise.

"Shh, there, there." Lia traced circles on Ryujin's back and the latter leaned her head on Lia's shoulders.

"Losing you, Lia," Ryujin started, "I- I'm afraid of it. And- and I'm sorry for not being strong enough when I should be the one who's supposed to be your rock, your anchor, your source of strength during this trying times. I'm so sorry Lia, the feeling is just too much to bottle up." By then, Ryujin's tears once again greeted the sight of the green eyed girl.

Lia could not help but sigh in frustration, not because of Ryujin, but because of her illness. Cancer. Lung cancer. But it's cancer, it's part of her, always had been and always will be. You see, everybody has cancer cells, hers just decided to self destruct. And fuck whoever deserved to be fucked for that.

"No babe, that totally doesn't make sense. We're in this together. And if you are to have an emotional breakdown then let it go, I'll be here, maybe not too strong and perhaps much more weak, but I'll be here. None of us has to be strong for each other Ryujin. We just have to keep on going, the both of us will get through all trials and tribulations that life throws at us."

"Having a breakdown doesn't mean you are weak, it just means that you're capable of feeling, and that you are human. You can fall and stand back up, Ryujin, and that shows strength. You can fall and let life drag youㅡ and that is surrender. Go on, be weak, but never raise the white flag." Lia finished.

Well that was long wasn't it? Lia had to do it though, she has to do it in all given chances while she's still by Ryujin's side.

"Don't leave me, Lia."

"I won't, as long as I'm breathing."

"Don't run out of breath, then."

"We'll all run out of breath, Ryujim."

"Well don't run out of breath too soon, then."

"I can't promise." Even if she could, she would rather not.

"I can promise to spend the rest of my life with you, though."

Ryujin didn't utter a single word and decided to doze off in Lia's embrace, and she wished she didn't. How could she? How dare she?  How dare she sleep during her lover's final moments? How dare she let Lia go without having to say goodbye and I love you for the last time? Ryujin had been beating herself up about it for almost a fortnight now. She wailed as she woke up to the sight of a lifeless Lia, she shook her body a hundred times, she breathed air to Lia's lips, giving her a CPR thinking it would wake her up, she had asked Lia's parents who were watching her pour herself out to wake up their eldest child and a whole lot more... she did everything she could, and none of those woke Lia up.

On the summer of June, a year after Lia's death, Ryujin knocked on the Choi's door, asking permission if she could hang out in Lia's room which the Choi's wholeheartedly welcomed her.

She laid on Lia's bed, weeping, broken, weak, but still going. She had to, Lia told her so.

She rummaged through Lia's things that were untouched ever since she passed away. Lia had always told her parents not to go through her stuffs when her time comes but Ryujin alone could do so, and they respected that.

On top of the television stand, Ryujin saw something that caught her attention. She headed towards it and held it in her hands.

A CD.

To Shin Ryujin

Ryujin's heart jumped as she read the written words. Without thinking much, she inserted it on the player and settled herself on Lia's bed.

"Hi Ryujinie!" The sight of Lia with a big smile on the face and in a blue pyjama, sent shivers throughout Ryujin's system. It was Lia. Her Lia. Her version of Lia that was anything but six feet beneath the ground. Her Lia that she missed the most.

"So... I just decided to tape myself because, well, I can," Lia raised her eyebrow up and down with a smug smile.  "And because I love you. I'm not going down back in memory lane to remind you of our days back then, but instead, I'm adding this to it. I'm making history, my love. A history that only you and I will ever know of."

By then, Ryujin's eyes were red and swollen, her heart aching, and her whole being was longing for the only thing that she could never take grasp of ever again; Lia.

Lia, Lia, Lia.

"You see, I don't have much time left. And that sucks but, I have to be okay with it. And I am," Lia shrugged with a smile. "We have little time left together, Ryujinie, but that's all I could ever ask for; a time to be with you,"  Lia looked so gentle and fragile the way that she looked at the camera, the way Ryujin sees her on the TV, it was as if she was there, she was present, talking to Ryujin with all the emotions in her eyes. She was there, Ryujin almost believed, if not only because of the same unfinished painting of a silhouette of two girls at the rooftop from a year ago greeted her sight. "I'm thankful for this little forever that we could have, and... I love you," Lia said the last part while chuckling. "Really though, I just made this video just to say that," Lia chuckled again. Lia's eyes stared lovingly at Ryujin, at least that's how it felt for the dark eyed girl. "I love you, okay? Take it easy when I'm gone... I love you. I'll end this video now because I'm going to see you at the waffle house thirty minutes from now. I love you. This is Choi Jisu, now signing off."

And then the screen went blank.