Citrus and Cinnamon~Kenhina

Part 3~ Realization

- Thoughts
"- Speech
*-Mumbles
(6•9•21)

I just love this song. I think it exemplifies Hinata and Kenmas relationship so much and its just so adorable ♥‿♥
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Hinata's POV:

'Fuck..... What if I really am gay'.

I can't be! I've never felt this way before.

Well if it's true it explains a lot, like:
.turning down the girls that asked me out in middle school without much thought
.Only ever finding a couple of girls attractive
.Only thinking about dating one person before

"I don't understand these thoughts im having!", I yelled this into my pillow. Suddenly my face felt sticky. Like condensation on a glass cup.

But I don't think I've had feeling for a boy before... maybe. I could he bi? Pan? Too many options to narrow down!

I should try to forget these feelings. It'll be better for me, plus my feelings will just get in the way of volleyball and school. I know my dad certainly wouldn't like it, seeing as he's never home anyways.

I wiped the tears off my face and tried to turn over and go to sleep. These attempts were useless as I maybe got one hour of sleep before it soon was morning and I had to go to school.

Kenma's POV:

I walked off the bus with a headache.

Knowing I had to walk home I started to get going. Having to walk alone, as Kuroo got a drive home today, I was left with my thoughts. Not really sure i wanted to talk with Kuroo anyways.

'Why did I want to keep texting? Why did I get flustered?' More thoughts kept rushing to my head, making my head hurt even more. Deep in the back of my mind I knew why. But I just couldn't bring it to the surface.

Eventually I arrived at my house. I opened the door, greeting my mother, "Hey mom, im back.". "Okay! I left dinner on the table, please eat it Kenma. I know how you are".

I couldn't disagree, I usually don't eat. Whether it's me not wanting to or just forgetting to. I tried to eat atleast a bit before cleaning off my plate. My stomach issues didn't really make that easy.

I grabbed my switch and layed on my bed. I played until the early morning,  Barely getting any sleep. Through the night holding many thoughts. These thoughts trailing into my gaming causing me to die, over and over again.

I took a small nap just so I wouldn't be exhausted at school the next morning. But oddly during my nap I had a dream....

I was sitting in a cafe with..... someone? We were just sitting there until I said that I loved him (the figure seemed to be male). He started to yell at me talking about how gross it was, how I was disgusting and how much he hated me.

I woke up in a cold sweat, tears streaming down my eyes. I tried to wipe my tears and lie back down, but I couldn't brush off what just happened. Why did that scare me so much. Why did I confess, I don't like guys. Right?

I sat up and rubbed my temples, it was common for me to have headaches. But not in this way. I pushed my hair out my face with clips.

Why would I confess to a guy...

Well I did use to have a crush on Kuroo when I was younger. But I never got to tell him, he fell in over with someone else... Since then, no one else. Weird.

I've already had to struggle to find my gender identity. I learned I was a demi-boy. I use the pronouns he/They. But no one seems to notice that... only using he since "it's what I was born with".

It just makes sense.
1.No interest in any females
2. Having a crush on Kuroo as a kid
3. Already being demi...

"Oh my G*d. I'm gay".
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Oh god I finally finished writing. I'm so sorry its short but I've been having a rough time and haven't felt really inspired. Also I am part of the LGBTQ+ (PAN) and I like to educate myself so if you don't know Demi-boy is someone who partially, but not wholly, identifies as a man or boy, regardless of their assigned gender at birth. Thank you :)
¯\_( 👁 . 👁 )_/¯
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Word count: 738