Technical Assistance

Side Story #9: Circuitry Removal and Repair

Oliver awakens from the deepest sleep he’s had in five years in somewhat of a fog, a common experience for him now. But instead of waking in high alert, like on the island, he gradually eases into it, trying to remember where he is and how he got there. Then the weight on his lap shifts ever so slightly and he remembers. The Dodger. Felicity. The bomb collar around her neck. The pure terror on her face, but her first thought being of his safety.

The thought of seeing her with that collar around her neck will haunt his nightmares; of that he’s very certain. He nearly lost her tonight. The thought sends a chill down his spine and causes a dark rage to well up inside him. It's the kind of darkness he's been fighting back since he first arrived on the island, and it's precisely the kind of darkness that makes him want to hunt down the unsuspecting jewel thief and put several arrows in him. The Dodger would have killed her, for no other reason than because he wanted to. It’s exactly the kind of thing he wanted to keep her away from, but she seems to be drawn to even the idea of trouble.

After all, she leapt at the chance to work with him.

But then he remembers the good things about the night, and it brings a slight smile to his face. She had been stunning in that gold dress, and he’s going to try very hard to forget the feel of her pulled tightly against his back—and the sight of her long, bare legs flush against his. He thinks that might star in some of his dreams later on, and it will be a welcome relief from the nightmares he’s been facing. In some ways, it already has been; something about Felicity makes him relax, remember that not all people are cruel and heartless. In a cold, desolate world, she makes him better—makes him want to be better.

The thought reminds him about the rest of the night; she had dismissed his past so thoroughly—so quickly—and it made him want to stop fighting the inevitable. He still doesn’t know which part surprises him more: that she wanted to kiss him, or that she clearly wants more from him. He’s not sure how a relationship between them will work, but what Oliver does know is that he’s glad to have her, for however short a time it might be.

Because he has no doubt that when she realizes his deception, she’ll walk out of his life for good.

It’s a thought he’s wrestled with for most of the night, but he’s managed to resign himself to it after some contemplation. Because, really, it was only a matter of time before another man more worthy of her affection came along, and anything involving Felicity Smoak is an experience he’d rather not miss. From the first moment she yelled at him about using her computer, she’d brought a smile to his face for the first time in five years. Then he couldn’t ignore his feelings any longer. He’d somehow ended up flirting with her, an innocent slip that he thought he’d regret later, but she’d responded well to it, and it made him want to start trying. And, somewhere along the way, he’d recognized her feelings for him, and restraint had proven harder. He had managed, but then she’d called him out on it a few nights ago, and he no longer saw the need to fight his feelings for her. It seems ridiculous, but Oliver can no longer imagine a life without Felicity as a part of it.

It’s a terrifying thought, as Oliver has only known her for a matter of months and he's never felt dependent on another person in his life. He’s spent the past five years of his life depending only on himself because the island has taught him the anguish of betrayal, and it takes just one fiery, determined little blonde to break down five years of defenses built to isolate him from the rest of the world. And not only did she accept Oliver Queen with open arms and a kind heart, but also the Arrow. Sure, her hesitance had been almost tangible at first, but she had learned both sides of Oliver and accepted the darkest side of him so easily. It was only tonight that he had threatened to kill the Dodger for his attempt on Felicity’s life, called himself a monster, and she had still let him kiss her.