Deja Vu: The Healer

Chapter 20: Two People

Eric scooped me into his arms and I clung and gasped as he jumped down branches. My anxiety attack still raged on as we hit soil. William was already there, worry etched into his face. He held his arms out and before Eric could set me down, I was reaching and pulled myself around his neck like a hurt toddler.

William moved us to sit back against a fallen log and I shifted my legs to straddle his lap, my face digging into his shoulder. He said calming words as his warm hands slid across my back and his nose glided at my neck over his marks.

It was minutes of this, before my breathing slowed and my heartrate returned to normal. But I pressed on into William's shoulder.

"Are you okay Kara?" Eric's words were soft and I twisted just enough to look at him. My cheeks pinked from embarrassment of my melt down. He smiled and stood off a log to the side. He touched at my shoulder. "I've got to get back to the pack. The Alpine Ridge man has woken up. But you're in good hands." He winked, sending my blush darker. "See you around."

"Bye, Eric," I whispered testing the newer name and then bit my lip.

William and I watched as he jogged away.

As more minutes past and I realized I was finally completely calm, the extreme embarrassment of earlier and even this new situation started trickling in. I shouldn't be clinging into him!

But my mind was at war with itself.

I wanted to pull away and hide, but something else kept saying the word mate. Throwing it back at me, telling me it was perfectly fine for mates to need the other for comfort.

Caroline, that's why your panic attack is gone. Because of mate.

And I knew it was true.

It was like I was two people now. Caroline and Kara. Caroline, the human who thinks they know the world and how to feel about a man she just met. How to act around practically a stranger. Heck, how even to feel after getting dumped by a fiancé! Then Kara, the wolf. More adult than Caroline, strong and smart in the ways of the supernatural world. Telling Caroline where to shove it when it comes up how to treat a mate. Kara, always there with me, watching and following the world, even if I didn't know it. Was she the one always holding me back on the relationship with Rick? Was she really always there under my skin?

It felt weird. But Kara knew what mates were and even remembered her grandmother telling her about her absolute submission marks, and Kara's hope for a mate to share that with.

And though I was Caroline for so long, I now know I'm Kara too.

I sighed into William's shoulder and spoke softly to him, the first sounds to disrupt the forest in many minutes. "I know what mates are."

His warm breath blew out over my neck. "Yeah?"

I nodded wordlessly against him. "You might have to give me some time to adjust though."

His warm hand rubbed at my back. It was so lovely. "I can give you all the time you need."

"Thank you." A quiet word, then I pulled myself from William's lap and sat next to him on the log. I looked at the dirt at our feet ashamed. "And I'm so sorry," I spoke awkwardly to my feet.

"Sorry for what?" He asked softly.

"Goodness, don't make me say it." I sighed and closed my eyes, burying my fiery humiliation into my hands. "For coming onto you. For forcing your hand to mark me and... do other stuff." Can I go climb a tree again? I'm going to die.