This Is Life

Love will come and find me again

We were at in the movie theatre in New York to watch the movie that had been made with the song from the contest winners, Illinois. I sat beside Donny and once the lights went down I felt him take my hand in his. We were still being relatively secretive about our relationship when in public. I looked at him and smiled as he smiled back at me. The movie was awful and I was glad we weren't associated with it. Frank Sinatra sang the song and the band were completely dubbed over. We decided to leave early because it was so bad. Donny let go of my hand and we all walked out. Once out of view he took my hand again and I smiled. We swayed our hands back and forth as we gazed happily at one another. I truly loved him so much and I couldn't be more grateful to have him in my life.

"It's hard to believe it's up on the big screen." Donny said gently.

"Yeah. That's was memorable." Johnny chuckled.

"And Sinatra sounded just like I thought he would."

"No ones gunna see this turkey." I laughed as I kissed my boyfriend.

"Congratulations Illinois." Nick added as he put his hands in his pockets.

"Bravo Chicago." Wayne said. "And I was under the impression that we were the losers." We all laughed when a girl, probably in her mid teens ran over to us.

"Excuse me, Mr Nova. Could I have your autograph?" She said softly. I pushed him gently towards her.

"What's your name?" He asked taking her book and opening it.

"Betsy. My parents and I are coming to see your concert tomorrow night. Seeing you on that contest last year changed our lives. My father served." Donny scribbled something onto the paper.

"Bring this to the stage door tomorrow night after the show. They will let you and your family back. I'd like to meet him."

"Yes Sir. Thank you." She took back her book and ran off.

"Oh how they all swoon at my charms." I put my hands on the side of his face.

"Oh give me a break." He took my hands in his and spun us around a bit.

"Backed up by my brothers in arms." He let go of me and put his arms around Jimmy and Nick. We all smiled and headed off to get dinner. We ended up at Sardi's again as the food was so good last time and I sat beside Donny on the booth. He put his arm around me and I smiled and leant against him. "I love you."

"I love you too." I said softly and rested my head on his shoulder. We were handed our menus and I smiled and looked though it. We all decided what we wanted and ordered. "I can't believe we've been together almost a year."

"Neither. It's been an amazing year. We've achieved so much."

"And I couldn't have been able to achieve that without you. You've changed my life Donny Nova." I said running my hand though his hair. "Changed my life for the better. I love you."

"I love you too Julia." He said kissing my forehead. I smiled and we had a wonderful meal out with the guys. Some of the boys headed out to a nightclub but Donny and I headed back to our hotel walked up to our room. I sat down on the bed and Donny took his jacket off and joined me. I put my arms around him and cuddled up to his side, resting my head on his chest. "I love you Julia."

"I love you even more Donny. I've had a wonderful weekend so far and I'm excited to perform again with you all tomorrow." I said softly. He kissed the top of my head and smiled as he held me close.

"I can't wait either. The Donny Nova Band featuring Julia Trojan is playing at the World Famous Rainbow Room in NEW YORK! It's unbelievable!"

"I know. This is what you and Michael dreamed about. And now it's happening. He's so proud of you Donny. I know he is."

"He's proud of you too Julia. He told me you were an incredible singer and said if we ever needed a female voice he'd ask you." I nodded against his chest.

"I miss him. I miss his jokes and the sound of him playing the drums in the basement. I miss everything about him."

"I miss him too. He'd always tell jokes in the camps. And we'd talk about these dreams we had together. And even though he's not here, I'm glad you get to achieve his dreams with me. I feel like I have part of Michael here when I'm with you."

"And I feel like I have part of him when I'm with you. You were with him for the last 3 years of his life, every day. I didn't get to see him once during that time. So those memories you have with him are so important to me." I said softly. There was a short moment of silence as we just had thoughts of Michael in our minds.

"I'm so sorry Julia." Donny suddenly said with a stuttered whisper. "I'm so sorry." I pulled back and looked at him and saw tears falling down his cheeks.

"Don't be Donny. Everything happens for a reason." I wiped his eyes and kissed his forehead. "I know all of this is so hard. And it will never be easy. But I have you Donny. And I'm so lucky to have you here. Even if I can't have Michael. Having you in my life is just as good. You're my hero." I said and Donny just shook his head. "Love will come and find me again. I wrote that poem 6 months after I heard of Michael's death. I was scared that I'd be alone forever. But I wasn't. Because you came into my life. And I very quickly started to fall in love with you. I was scared to love you because of our pasts but I couldn't help myself. And I proved that love will come and find me again. You may not seem like a hero. But to me you really are. You gave me hope. You've helped me though so much. You've let me achieve dreams I didn't even know I had. And you showed me that I could still find love after losing Michael. And I'm so lucky to have you by my side Donny."

"I love you Julia. But he should be the one beside you. Not me."

"But at least I have you. It would be even worse if I had neither of you. I miss him so much. But I have you. And that's all I need right now. You." I looked into his eyes and smiled. "I love you Donny. So much. You're my hero. It will never be just like it was before. But I'm happy where I am now. I'm so happy because I have someone who loves me, and I love them back." I smiled and rubbed his back knowing he needed me more than I needed him. Sure I missed Michael so much. But I had Donny now. But for him, his best friend could never be replaced, (not that Donny was replacing Michael for me either, he was just the man I loved now Michael was gone) and I was a constant reminder of his best friend that he'd killed due to dropping his grenade. That's what made it harder for him. The fact that Donny knew it was his fault, made it more difficult than anyone could imagine. But I didn't blame Donny for Michaels death. Not and single ounce. Donny told him to get out, and he didn't. Dropping the grenade was an accident. It was Michael's suggestion to throw the grenades in the first place. "Why don't we both get ready for bed." I said softly, thinking that continuing this conversation wouldn't be the best idea before bed.

"Sure." I went and changed in the bathroom and cleaned my teeth and when I came out Donny went and got himself ready. While I waited for him in sat in our bed and closed my eyes.

"Michael. Today's been a crazy day. We saw the MGM movie made with the contest winning song and it was awful. We had an amazing dinner at Sardi's and then came back here. I had a difficult conversation with Donny. He keeps blaming himself for you not being here, and saying how you should be here instead of him. I wish you were both here, but what's happened has happened and I love him no matter what. I just can't get him to see that I love him so much. And how I'm so proud of him. And that he's my hero. He brought me out of what seemed like an endless road of depression. He helped me achieve your dreams. I'm doing this for you Michael, as is he. I love you so much Michael, I miss you every day." I blew a kiss up to the heavens as Donny came in. I smiled at him and he sat beside me. "I love you Donny Novitski. Nothing can change that." I said lying down beside him.

"I love you too Julia. And I'm sorry about tonight."

"There's no need to apologise. We both said we will always be here if the other needs it. And tonight you needed my support. And I gave it to you." He nodded and pulled me in close.

"Thank you Julia." I smiled and kissed him softly. "I love you."

"I love you too. Now try to get some sleep love. We have a busy few days coming up with gigs." Donny held me close as I closed my eyes and fell asleep, my arms around him. I knew he probably wouldn't sleep as he didn't really sleep at all but I knew he was often able to get a little sleep when he was beside me as he felt safe in my arms.