The one he never claimed. (Complete)

18.

I don't know how much longer I'm going to be here. Mary has been here for over three months and I hope that's not the case with me because schools are reopening soon.

I'm not too excited about that but I need to complete my degree in social sciences nonetheless.

I'd always hated seeing Ezra go through the things that he did growing up. I wanted to do something, to make his life a little less crappy. Although I did get dad to help out where he could, it still wasn't enough. They used to come and have dinners at my house whenever they didn't have at home, we used to welcome them. But I knew food was only a small part of their many problems. I knew they struggled with keeping the lights on at home, and that Ezra ended up not doing his home works and not studying for tests as a result.

His tragic upbringing was a big part of my wanting to study what I'm studying. I have no clue exactly what I want to become but I know it's got to do with helping people. I never want to see anyone going through what he did, so I want to help out as many people as I can.

"So how long am I going to be in for?" I finally ask my dad as we're sitting in the hospital lounge watching a show I'm not paying attention to. He'd gone from coming a few days a week to a few times a day. I think in the beginning he was afraid of me, maybe seeing me was too hurtful for him.

But now I seem to be all he wants to see because he visits a lot. I think I see him more now than I did at home. I'm not complaining though, neither do I mind because I love my dad and I'm glad he's forgiven me. So for the past couple of days, he's been coming in every day in the morning, sometimes on his lunch breaks and we have dinners together as well.

We still don't talk much, we just bask in each other's presence. It's not much different from our relationship at home. Mom was always the talker, the emotional one. I know dad struggles with opening up. But he makes up for it by warming you up with his presence.

We've now just had dinner and we're sitting in the ward lounge with the Tv playing in the background, like we do every evening. "I don't know Hunny. Dr. Levy will decide I guess based on your progress." He explains softly to me.

Even though we're over the fragile phase where he'd talk to me like he was walking on eggshells, I can still see him being careful with certain things that he says. Clearly not wanting to trigger me. It does hurt but I get it.

What I did was beyond stupid, I'm realizing now. Ezra hasn't made any effort to reach out in the whole month that I've been admitted. Hard as that has been, it's helped me with moving on. I mean I'm not completely over him, not even close but I'm slowly accepting my faith as far as he's concerned. I wish him all the best in his career and in his life in general but I feel that our time is up. My heart has accepted.

"Does that mean I'm going to miss the first day of varsity?"
That's going to be in a few days so if he hasn't made his mind up now about discharging me, then I know there's no chance of me making it back to varsity on opening day.

"That's good news isn't it?" He says in an attempt to make me smile and I conform.

"I guess." I then say to him.
Maybe that's not completely bad. I don't know if I'm ready to see everyone right now, not after the embarrassment I've endured. Although Liz tells me nobody knows about my little incident, I'm thankful for that.

Speaking of Liz, something seems to be a bit off with her. At first I thought she was still mentally recovering from my actions. But should it take so long? I guess I have to be patient with her though, just like she's been patient with me through the years.

LIZ'S POV

I can't even look at her in her eyes, I'm hurt. In more ways than one. For six years she's kept this secret from me. My best friend. I've never not been a 100 percent honest with her, so that breaks my heart beyond repair. I suppose I understand why she did it though, maybe I'm mad because if I'd known, I wouldn't have...

After a very big battle with myself, I finally manage to wake up to go prepare for my first day of varsity. I've been dreading this day. Mostly because my mind is still in the middle of summer but also because of the pending conversation I need to have this morning.

After showering and getting ready, I finally make my way to a familiar place that I now hate more than anything. I put my dark glasses on as I make my way out of the car and I soon open the door to reveal the most perfect shade of grey eyes staring back at me. I know he was surprised by my call.

"I can't stay. What is it?" He says not even bothering to say hello to me, but that's ok with me. Because I don't want to be here just as much as he doesn't.

"Okay then, guess I'll get straight to the point." I say and he nods.

Where do I even start?

"The girl you told me about. The love of your life. She's..." I'm unable to stop the tear that makes its way out of my eye. I hate myself.

He seems to know where I'm going with this because he stands not bothering to let me finish.

"What did you do?" The terror in his eyes is unmissable.

"Nothing. I - she told me." I say and he just freezes. "I didn't say anything about.." I point my finger between the two of us and he seems to calm down just a bit.

"Why didn't you tell me? you know she's my best friend." He returns to the bed and puts his head in his hands in shame. All he told me was that what we did was a mistake and he's in love with someone.

I wish he would've told me before we did what we did, because I'll never forgive myself. He knows my relationship with Alex and yet he let us do what we did. I feel myself getting angry by each second but I try really hard to calm myself down. Then,

"Please say something Ezra. You have no idea what we've done." I say hoping he'll say something that'll make all this seem better but I know that's not possible.

"I know. Why do you think I've been distant from her? I can't even bear to look at her in her eyes without feeling the guilt." He says and I realize that he still doesn't know. Of course he doesn't.

"Ezra, Alex tried to commit suicide. She's in a psychiatric ward as we speak."

His face looks like if you stabbed someone in the heart with a knife.

Ezra and I slept together. It was a drunken mistake that happened about three more times after the first time. I feel incredibly disgusted with myself. Had I known that my best friend was in love with him, I definitely wouldn't have done what I did. I'm mad because he knows very well about my friendship with Alex, I never stop raving about her. But he still put me in a position he knew I could never come back from.

Alex deserves better than this, she deserves better than him. I can't help but wonder how many more girls have there been. How many times has he cheated on my best friend? And that famous kiss at the party... it makes sense now, it all does. I can't believe I didn't see it before. I mean I guess I've always suspected but I really should've known.

How through the years she never wanted me to hook her up. How uncomfortable she would get whenever he was around. There was a time I thought she had a crush on him, I mean everyone did.

I feel myself getting more mad as I stand here looking at him ball his eyes out. He doesn't deserve to cry for her. He doesn't deserve her love at all. The past couple of days that I'd been visiting her had shown me the love she has for this man. Truly tragic.

"It's been over a month Ezra. She's doing better, please leave her alone." I finally say before walking out.