peter pan

six

renjun's shoulders hurt as he opens his eyes.

where am i?

when he's fully conscious, he faced his side.

"JAEMIN!" he shot up from his back and hugged the said male. jaemin was sitting beside him, with his hair now light blue. renjun's eyes started watering, "i'm sorry. i should've tried understanding you before i said things that hurt you feelings." renjun says between his sobs. his face snuggled into jaemin's side.

"shhh. it's okay. i'm sorry too. i should've think carefully before doing such thing." jaemin replies, rubbing renjun's back with his palm.

renjun pulls back and looks at jaemin, he was also tearing up. renjun wiped off jaemin's tears as the other also did the same with his. "are we back to being friends?"

"we were never not." smile was visble to jaemin's face. renjun hugged jaemin once again, which the other did back.

they were okay now, but something feels weird.

renjun tried wriggling his wings, but it felt noting. as if he doesn't have any. renjun pulled away from the hug and looked at his back, "WHAT THE一"

"i know right." jaemin says, looking at renjun who was wide eyed, "when i left that time, i went to the park, i was sitting under the tree watching the kids play, but this guy, he looks like me. i was staring at him, then he suddenly looked at me too. that's how i went like this." jaemin spread his arms, looking at himself.

just then, renjun noticed how his surroundings looked smaller than before. "why did the weather suddenly drop? it's so cold outside." it was jeno, mark following behind him, paper bags on their arms. renjun's eyes went to jaemin.

as if jaemin knew, "i explained to them already." renjun replied a nod.

"oh renjun, you're awake. here," mark says, handing him what he holding.

"donghyuck?" he asks

"i asked him to go home and update the others about me. they must have been been worried." jaemin lowers his head. he actually didn't know where he was when he woke up the other day. he was in this dorm which he remembers, was his. he also remembers he has a dorm mate, which he found a note pinned on the fridge saying,

off to part-time
i cooked some soup
get better soon
xxbroxx

he also remembers having a brother. which he kinda can't remember how he looks like, but he remembers some dimples. but until jaemin left to find his way back to jisung's home. he never saw this brother.

when he was on his way through the road he took. he knew he's never been there, but there's this memory that he took this way the other day on the way to the park.

and thats how he found renjun and the others.

"where is jisung anyway? i kept messaging him, but he never replies." jeno says, tapping on his phone.

that made renjun remember something, "i know where jisung is," renjun says, looking at jaemin. then they went their way to jisung. when they left the room, renjun just noticed they were in a convenience store's staff room. it was a few blocks away from the park.

before the left the store, they thanked the owner and the workers.

now that he thinks about jisung. he had this memory talking to jisung at night. jisung running on him with tears on his cheeks, it made him feel guilty. he also remembers falling asleep with jisung in his arms.

he felt like crying.

the other day, while renjun was arranging some books. a creak from the door was heard which meant someone entered, "welcome to一 tink?" yes, it was tinkerbell. when he went back there, he actually thought of talking to tinkerbell. that was his plan. but kun一a wind fairy一said she left to meet someone. so just decided to work while waiting.

now, he's facing her. they were seated on one of the couch facing the counter一where sicheng was supposed to be, but tinkerbell asked him if he could give them some privacy.

at first renjun was silent, uneasy and biting his lips. he couldn't look at tinkerbell's eyes. tinkerbell knew renjun won't start talking any time soon, so she started the conversation. about this friend she met yesterday. how she cried like a baby when she saw this friend. back then, tinkerbell starts, they weren't the closest friends. tinkerbell being the talkative person she is, this friend likes silence. so every time tink tries to talk to her, this friend would get annoyed. one day this friend's necklace was lost, and blamed on tinkerbell, saying tink was the only one there and tink's hand was everywhere everytime. of course tink defended herself. it wasn't her who took it. they fought. neither did talk to each other for days. but tink on the other side, couldn't stay mad at anyone. so when she saw this friend sitting by the pond, watching the sunset. tink was hesitating whether to join the latter or not. she was afraid this friend was still mad at her. but their fight won't stop if she won't do this. tink put her thoughts aside and took a seat near the latter. "i'm sorry," tink apologizes. a sniff was heard, "no, i'm sorry. you did nothing yet i blamed you," that surprised tink, she thought this friend would just let her talk alone. "it's okay," yes it was wrong to blame someone who has done nothing wrong, but to forgive is what matters. "here give me you hand," which she did. she was hesitant, but did it anyway, "i made this," tink says, putting something on her palm. "what for?" it was a necklace with a star pendant, "have it while we're still looking for your necklace. it isn't that much, but that could at least take your necklace's place for now." if this friend was being honest, what tink gave her was much better than what she lost. she was just keeping the necklace because it was all she had. she still wants to find it, but having this, she thinks she could wait. then after that, even though she still gets annoyed by tink, their friendship was better the before.

renjun was confused though. why was tinkerbell telling him this. it's not like jisung and him were enemies or something. neither did either lost something.

"here's the thing renjun. what i told you doesn't have anything to do to whats happening, but did you know what was the lesson?"

renjun nodded, "yes, it's if you're sorry, be sincere about it."

"wrong," tink says, "i mean, sincere sorry is the best sorry, but it's not what i mean. it's learning how to forgive. those two goes well. sincere sorry and forgiveness."

"yeah, i know but一

"you know, but do you understand?" and that silenced renjun, "you know renjun, this is what i noticed about you. you act like you know it all. well yes– you do know. but you never tried understanding. that's why it looks difficult. try understanding it. it might not lessen the work, but it makes it a bit easier."

so the next days he's been working, he let that sink into him. how jaemin told him he had never felt it, or he convince himself into thinking that what he was feeling was normal and just a friendship-love.

now that he thinks about it, how he cares for jaemim was different from how he cares for jisung. how he cares for a friend and how he cares for jisung.

it was so different.

maybe jaemim was right

maybe he does love-love jisung

"hyung?" and there was jisung. wearing renjun's pajamas一as far as he could remember. "you know mark-hyung and jeno-hyung?"

oh right, he doesn't know. welp, there's a lot to explain.