Marvelously Mismatched

The solution to all of your problems.

After the disastrous date, I called Ethan. He picked up my call on the fourth ring, sounding worried. This man would turn grey before meeting his one true love with the way he stresses over me.
"Are you okay? Do you need rescuing? Did he do something to you? Is he-" he started speaking without pause. I knew his big brother instinct was peeking its head and he wanted to make sure I was okay.
"Ethan, relax. Take a deep breath. Inhale and exhale. I'm fine but the date was totally shitty." He did as I told him to, and calmed down a bit, because his voice didn't sound rushed when he started to talk again.
"What happened? Did you do something? Like one of your pranks?"
"No! Of course not." I sounded offended, but then again my pranks helped me keep the suitors at bay. Somedays I really wished I had this husband repellent spray. I could just keep spraying it around me, so men could keep their distance. Men are only good for sex and not relationship, I may sound sexist but my experience in men taught me just that.
"Well, now I'm surprised. Why didn't you do it? It's an Alextual."
"Alextual?"
"Alex ritual to scare men off on the first date." He teased. I laughed, suddenly feeling a bit better.
"Meet me at our usual spot and I'll tell you. I'm hangry so grab me mint chocolate chip ice cream with extra chocolate chips."
"Do you want me to pick you up? Where are you?"
"I'm walking. It's not too far away from Marley's, so I'll be fine. Just be there okay?"
"Yeah, dumbass. I'll be there." He replied and  hung up the phone.

***

Once in the park, I walked towards the lake, which was opposite the gazebo which was our usual spot. I sat there knowing it'd take him more than 10 minutes to reach here with the ice-cream.
15 minutes later, I heard him before I saw him.
"Alex, c'mon. What are you doing near the lake?" He shouted.
"Did you bring my ice cream?"
"Do you think I have a death wish? Of course I brought your ice-cream."
I turned toward him, to see him holding two large tubs of icecream. Slowly, I made my way toward him and we both sat down on the grass, instead of going into the gazebo. The weather was amazing, and the air felt fresh as it blew across my face, blowing my hair in all directions.
He passed me my tub of mint chocolate chip, and opened his own tub of cookie dough. We both dug into our ice-cream without saying another word.
Another plus side of having a best friend since childhood was that silences were never uncomfortable.
After finishing my own, I put my spoon into his. He swatted my hand and turned away from me. In retribution, I smacked him across the head.
"Don't touch mine, you greedy pig. Now start talking." He said with a mouthful of his ice-cream.
I grumbled and punched him on his arm for not sharing, but then I remembered the events that lead up to this. Just like that, my anger returned.
"He called me a gold digger and proceeded to ask me how much money I needed to say no to this marriage proposal!"
"HE DID WHAT?"
"And as if that wasn't enough, he said I wasn't good enough to be his wife."
"Tell me you didn't just walk away? You must have done something to him."
"I ripped him a new one", I giggled.
"So, he was an asshole. Maybe the next one will be better. Give your mom 5 days before she comes up with a new date" he laughed.
"Mom needs to stop blackmailing me with her condition. This is not fair", I said. At the mention of my mom's health, Ethan sobered up. Her motive was to push me to get married and give her a few grandkids before death's imminent arrival. The only thing about going out with every new guy each week was that it was exhausting and it shifted my focus from my work, affecting my career goals.
"It's energy consuming, and I can't even do my job properly because of this. It has to stop before I go completely crazy." I exclaimed.
"It isn't easy to find love. Don't worry, this will all end soon when we have the perfect match for you. Someone you'll love." Ethan replied. I gagged.
Yuck!
"I don't need love, I need a promotion!"
He sighed. His romantic heart just can't accept the fact that love is not everything that people needed. Some people actually valued their sanity!
We both were lost in our thoughts, not speaking a word. But I knew he was troubled, my mom was more like a parent to him, the mother figure he never had. His mom died during childbirth, and since then my mom had taken care of him. It would hurt him to lose another parent.
He never showed it but I saw the pain he was trying to hide. He helped my mom because he wanted her happy, as much as I did. It was one of the reasons why he wouldn't support me, the other being my suffering.
"What did you plan this time if he hadn't destroyed the date?" He asked jokingly, trying to lighten up the mood. He was making an effort to distract ourselves from the harsh reality, and I obliged.
"Oh you'd have loved this one. I had paid Erik, our waiter $100 to pretend to be my crazy boyfriend. And I also told him to go as far as telling him that I was pregnant with his child. There was also one about me having wobbly teeth."
Ethan burst out laughing loudly, hitting his hand on the ground, and I joined him. We laughed till tears streaked down our faces.
Even if the date turned out to be horrible, without my intelligent interference, the time spent with Ethan was amazing. I was always amazed by his ability to make me laugh and forget about the shit in my life and I'll forever be grateful for a friend like him.

***

It was the next day that my mom called me and I told her about the date. Not everything in detail, and not everything true. I've definitely mastered the art of lying, it comes naturally when you have to deal with men, especially when you want them to run in the opposite direction whenever they see you.
The story I told my mom went something like, us not having chemistry.
Yeah, you having lustful thoughts about him wasn't chemistry?
But I couldn't tell my mom exactly that, so I improvised.
And I told her that we didn't really have anything in common to talk about so most of the dinner was spent in silence.
Sureee, it had nothing to do with him calling you a gold-digger.
My mom, although upset, agreed that I shouldn't get married until I felt a connection with the man. Then she continued to tell me how she wasn't going to give up. Of course she wouldn't.
I sighed when the call ended. I was done with this meeting guys on a blind date and now I've to find a way to put a stop to all this. It has been going on for way too long.
Two days later, I was working on one of my new projects, when it was interrupted by the ringing of my phone.
"Hey, it's Mateo", the voice on the other side said when I picked up the phone.
The audacity of this man to call me back. Irritated, I was going to spout some much needed knowledge about manners when he spoke again.
"Listen, I know I'm the last person you would want to talk to but I wanted to meet you. I was very rude that day, and I feel guilty. At least give me a chance to apologise." He pleaded.
"I have better things to do than listen to your half assed apologies." I replied curtly.
"Please, Alex. I'll pick you up tomorrow, if you agree."
"Go to hell."
I cut the call after that. For a 24 year old to act like a child is embarrassing, but now with everything on my mind I was irritated. Mateo just happened to be on the receiving side of it.