✧The Earthe of the Elves✧

9

Mia's POV

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For a moment, the shock hits me so hard I'm numb.

My dad is dead?

Dead. The word replays in my mind over and over, along with the few memories I have of him. My newfound knowledge of his life, and why he left, has an odd despair settling over my shoulders. I raise my head, my eyes meeting Rose's. My mouth opens as I try to figure out what to say. Looking over at Knox, his head is no longer down but up, watching me, weighing my reaction. Suddenly the two pairs of eyes on me are too much.

"I-" My voice comes out a squeak, so I clear my throat and try again. "I just... Need a moment."

Rose nods, but I barely acknowledge it as I push out of my chair, striding out the door in almost a run. It's not until I reach the stairs leading to the second floor that I run up them, grabbing my skirt so it doesn't trip me.

I contemplate going to my room, but ultimately head for the door at the end of my hallway. When I push it open a gust of cold wind rushes in, and I realize it leads outside, to a wooden staircase that wraps around the enormous trunk. It looks like it goes to the top of the tree. If I crane my head up, I can see the leaves swaying in the breeze. The staircase actually has a railing, to my pleasant surprise.

Due to the size of the tree, it takes me a solid ten minutes of climbing to get to the top, and by then I'm out of breath. I'm standing almost above the treeline, but not quite. In front of me stretches a wood platform held up by the trees' strong branches, with a table and a bench sitting on it. I'm practically inside the leaves, brown and yellow and red and orange surrounding me except for one spot in front of the platform, where the branches part enough to look out over the city. It's a beautiful view, looking down on the people and trees. Looking up, I can clearly see the sky just above a layer of leaves canopying above my head. Perfect, and nobody is here.

My breathing returns to normal as I sit in one of the chairs, barely feeling the freezing wind passing by as all of my thoughts finally come flooding back.

My dad. Jacob Glenn. He's dead. He's an elf. Is Jacob even his real name?

That's why he left. Not because he didn't love me or mom anymore, but to fight a battle for his home. Everything clicks into place, and it all makes sense. My memories with my dad were always good ones, so I never grasped why he might have left. Now I do. I feel horrible. After he left, I was confused. I was only five, without the ability to think too deeply into it. When I grew up, I grew to be mad at him. Throughout my childhood and teenhood I was so mad at him for leaving. I thought he was a terrible person for leaving his five year old daughter and wife. My anger stayed with me, and my memories with him just made me even more mad. I spent my whole life mad at him, when there was no reason to be. I guess I learned that too late.

I think about my dad's face, smiling down at me, and how Rose said he loved my mother, and me, so much.

And I was always mad at him.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, my vision blurring with tears. Anger flares in me for a moment- I don't want to cry. But the waterworks have opened, as have all of the emotions I've been bottling up from yesterday and this morning. So, seeing as there is nobody around, I let it all out.

Tears spill down my cheeks and I bury my head in my hands, letting out sobs that shake my body. My lungs feel squeezed tight. Emotions swirl inside me like a hurricane, threatening to consume me, to rip me apart. Sadness and anger and despair. And regret.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I whisper over and over through the sobs, wishing I had known long before today why my dad had left. I haven't cried, really cried, in a long time. Letting it out feels good. I almost feel like screaming, now mad at myself for never guessing why he left, that maybe it was different from the reasons I thought. My cries turn harsher, more angry, until the anger seeps out and only grief is left again. The tears don't stop.