Second First Chance

18. The Big Decision

"Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.

-Sylvia Plath

            On the night of the party, David was getting ready to go to Sofi's house.  He had made the decision to first attend the party that Chad invited him to and then he could leave and go to his parents' party.  Surely that would make everyone happy.  Hell, the party he was invited to, the one where all his friend's would be, was actually going to celebrate his birthday, too.  He looked in the mirror like he had done a year ago.  The previous year, he was faced with a big decision, too.  Last year's choice was to live or die.  That decision changed his life for the better, even though he couldn't know it at the time.  He thought about how the way his realization that life was worth living gave him a life with Sofi.  The love he felt for her could drive away any depression he could face.  The love she gave in return made his life worth living.  Taking one more glance at himself, he couldn't help but smile at the change one year could make in someone's life.

            David's parents had left the house about an hour before.  They talked about the party dilemma some more, but there was no resolution.  David offered the compromise that he would attend both, but that he wanted to go to the party with his friends first and then would come to their party for him.  This hurt his mom because she saw it as a cop-out.  She figured he would tell her he would be there and then several hours later, after everyone had gone, he would stroll in to collect his gifts.  Deep down, she knew he wasn't that shallow, but the fact that he wanted to choose his friends over his own flesh and blood hurt her to the core.

            David stood in his kitchen remembering how he had convinced his mom that a container of narcotic pain medication was breath mints.  How could she not see the pain he was in back then?  Was he that good at hiding it?  Maybe years with his dad caused her to block out certain emotions.  Regardless of the reason, she did not see that her son was in danger.  Did he blame her?  No, he wanted her to believe that her son was happy.  No parent wants to believe their child could be depressed and hurting to the point of suicide. 

            Walking out to his car, David felt somewhat guilty that he was actually going through with the decision to neglect his family first.  He drove to Sofi's house knowing that no matter how bad he felt, she would make the pain go away.  David walked to the door and Mrs. Mason opened the door. 

            "Well, hello birthday boy.  How are you doing today?"

            "I'm doing pretty good.  I'm just pumped about having my first birthday party with people my own age.  My parties have always consisted of family members and none of them—no cousins, aunts, uncles, nothing—have been even close to my age."

            "Well, I'm glad you are getting to go to a party with your friends, but I'm sure your parents were just trying to give you a fun party."

            "Maybe, so.  I just thought they would have seen that this year has been anything, but normal.  I have a girlfriend for the first time, ever.  Because she has so many friends, I have more friends than I have ever had.  It would just make sense that it would be less likely that I would attend the same party I always did."

            "You have to understand that they have been your complete support system for seventeen years.  This is all new to them, too." She paused for a minute, turned to the kitchen island and grabbed a wrapped box. "So, this is from Colin and me.  We hope you like it."

            David took the box, smiled, and said thank you to her.  "Should I open it now?"

            "Yes, please, if you'd like."