Part 2 Battlestar Galactica Finding Humanity: Saving Grace

Chapter 12

XII

When Kara arrived in the pilots briefing room, Dee was laying out the material she had requested. Kara thought about turning around and leaving until Dee had finished, but that was the old Kara. Starbuck knew she needed to change some old, bad habits. Avoiding an awkward situation was how she used to handle things, especially if she was the one who had made thing awkward. She needed to face up to her sins.

Dee didn't hear her come in, so Kara took the initiative.

"Hi Dee", she said, with a small smile, and no overt hostility.

"Gods, you startled me", Lee's wife said, with no overt hostility of her own.

"Oh, yeah, sorry about that", Kara said apologetically. "I didn't mean to."

"Welcome home, Starbuck", Dee said neutrally. "I heard you had some rough times down there."

Kara could feel Dee's discomfort, but she wanted to get them both through it.

"It isn't a time I will remember too fondly, that's for sure."

Dee saw the sudden pall over Starbuck's feature. Lee had told Dee what little he knew about what the pilot had gone through on New Caprica.

Dee sighed, and looked down. "I'm sorry that came out the way it did, Kara", Dee said contritely. "I know what you went down there was a living hell. I'm sorry."

"No", Kara said with a small smile. "Coming from you, with my history with Lee, I deserve that, Dee", she said honestly, surprising Dualla. "Losing a husband; being held prisoner twice, almost losing your sanity and your life...it's a reality check."

"I bet", Dee agreed, spreading some photographs out on a desk. "You did find something down there, however?"

"Amazing, isn't it?" Kara went around the desk, shuffling absently through the images, not paying attention to it yet. "I lose a husband, lose my mind, gain a daughter, gain a wife. You can't make such shit up." Kara paused. "I will let you know I visited Lee a little earlier." Kara could see Dee stiffen, a look beginning to form on her face. "You don't have to worry about me any longer, Dee", Kara said softly. "I will have to prove it to you, I know that, but I'm not the same person I was when we landed on New Caprica."

"Yes, you will have to prove it", Dee said, but not as coldly as she might once have. A small smirk formed on the darker woman's face. "I imagine cheating on the President would carry a one-way out a airlock?"

Kara did laugh at that. "Exactly", she agreed. "But that's not why I'm not tempted any longer, Dee. I'm sure you'll get to meet my daughter soon enough. Kacey changed my life, kept me sane when Leoben had me in his fantasy world. Laura made me realize that I was worth something beyond a misfit. I can't, and I won't, ruin that." She looked directly at Dee. "Lee loves you very much. And that's the way it should be. You two belong together."

"You have changed", Dee said with surprise. "I can't wash away three years of distrust in one stroke, Starbuck, but...I am glad that you got off that planet. I am very, sincerely sorry for what happened to Sam. He was a good man. And I'm glad you found a family as well."

"Thank you, Dee", Kara said, getting a little emotional. "I want you to hold my feet to the fire if I frak up. I mean that. But I won't. Like you said, you don't go cheating on the President. Things aren't perfect-I'm sure you know I'm seeing shrink. I can't get into what that's about-it's very painful, but I still have some issues to get through."

"You've got a lot of friends on here, Kara-more than I think you realize. Let your daughter and your wife keep you centered."

"I'm doing my best, Dee", Kara assured him. "Laura has been so patient with me. I still don't think I deserve either Kacey or Laura...but I'm glad I have them."