tag you're it － corpse husband oneshots

15. elated

they/them

soulmate!au

I see everything in black and white. No, I'm not colourblind... Well, technically speaking, almost everyone is. But I'm not medically colourblind. And even if I was, I probably wouldn't be seeing everything on the grayscale... would I? Maybe. But I'd like to assume I'm not colourblind. This is just a side effect of not falling in love with my destined someone, and also not making eye contact with them. Is that plate red? Is that kite blue? I can't tell. My mom, who sees colour all the time, tells me that my apartment is horridly decorated because I simply can't tell what matches and what doesn't.

Nevertheless, life is livable. I can't say that I'm not jealous as fuck when I see couples in love everywhere looking into each others eyes. I can't say I'm not jealous when people tell me what it's like to see colours for the first time. But that's life, isn't it? Being jealous of things you don't have. I started the path of becoming an "influencer" a while back because... Well, who doesn't wish for something like that? I kinda succeeded, I guess. I maintain 20k followers who are mostly just like me and can't see colour since they haven't met their soulmates. If I'm being honest, I think that's because they spend most of their time on social media instead of engaging in the world around them. I'm just like that as well, except for the brief times where I'm permitted to go out for groceries or the like. And even then I never make eye contact with anyone.

One of the thoughts I often have when I'm feeling jealous and spiteful is that at least I am not biased in my choice of candies based on colour. Not many people have the pleasure of meeting their soulmate when such biases start forming, but those who do tend to lean toward reds or blues. I think pineapple is the best, and I'm told it's clear. That's mostly spite and loneliness talking, by the way. I'm incredibly happy whenever I see one of my friends meet their soulmate, but a small part of me is jealous... And I hate that small part of me. Why can't I just be happy for them? Why do I have to... Why do I have to pretend? I should just be happy for them by default, right?

There are few things in this life that make me feel like I'm not missing out by seeing in black and white; One of those things is a youtuber called Corpse Husband. In the beginning, I just liked him because his voice was nice to listen to and his personality made me want to combust because holy shit he's adorable. But over time there was a different emotion there beyond common affection and positive feelings. I had never felt something like this before, but it was clear the more I felt it; I liked him as more than just someone who I watch on Youtube. And it became clear that I wasn't the only one feeling this way when I looked on Twitter. I saw tweets like "I don't want to meet my soulmate if he's not Corpse" "If my soulmate isn't Corpse, then I don't want him" "Corpse has made my standards so high omg I will never love my soulmate as much as I love him" And more. It made me feel bad, for whoever their soulmates are. Imagine reading that... And knowing that your soulmate felt that way. I would be heartbroken.

Recently, despite restrictions due to Covid, Corpse announced that he would be hosting a meet and greet. Where we would get to meet him and he would sign something of ours through a sheet of plexiglass. Fulfilling, isn't it? Yeah. There were only going to be 20 allowed to go throughout the course of the day to keep everything sanitized and to keep Corpse' anxiety down. I wasn't planning on applying since out of the more than a million, what's the chance that I'll be chosen? It's 1 in a million. Literally. So many people are saying things like, "If I get chosen it's proof that he's my soulmate UwU" but there's a 1 in 20 chance if his soulmate is in the cluster of fans he'll meet. And, in reality, his soulmate could be anyone. Anyone. There are 8 billion people in the world, and even though not all of them are eligible, there are surely at least a billion who could be. I know that those are just hopes and wishes. I know that. But still...