internet friends

meet up - 9

A/N: I'm so excited about this chapter. 

ROXIE P.O.V. 

COVID's finally over, and today I'm going to meet up with Billie in person. My life hasn't changed much since COVID, but it's really nice to see people again.

I've moved into a new apartment, done a couple photoshoots, got cast in a movie, and FaceTime-d more people than I could've ever imagined. There's a knock at my door, but I don't register it fast enough so a knock comes again. 

When I open it, I see Billie, who's wearing a mask and hood. I can hardly tell it's her. "You know corona's over, right?" She laughs, it comes out muffled.

"It's so nobody sees me." She pulls it off her face and takes down her hood. She practically throws herself into my arms for a hug. I laugh, holding her tightly. "I missed hugs so much, you have no idea." 

We laugh when she finally lets go of me, shutting the door and making our way to my room. I flop onto my bed, her joining me quickly after. "So, how are you? I'm sure you're loving being able to perform again." 

She hums. "Yeah, it's great. It's a little weird since it can't be the same, but it's a lot better than nothing. And I can see people I don't live with, I can finally meet you in person, it's great!" She says, excitedly. Her eyes are searching around my room, landing on the pictures on my wall. A few polaroids of me and my girlfriend, my brother, and some of my work friends. "Who's that guy?" 

"That's my brother. We don't talk anymore, but I still love him a lot." I sigh, sinking further into my bed, the bed dipping next to me when she lies down, too. 

"How come you kept the pictures of your girlfriend?" She asks, gently. I honestly don't know. It just felt weird to not see her on my walls. "Are you still not over her?" 

I just shrug. "You ask a lot of questions, Ms. O'Connell." I tease.

"You avoid a lot of questions, Ms. Margaret." She scrunches her nose up in a way that I can't help but grin at. "You don't have to answer if you don't want, I was just curious." Her voice is soft, it makes me feel quite safe. Today I felt it was a better idea to keep my mouth shut. Hesitantly, she takes my hand and squeezes it. I squeeze it back, smiling at her. I sit up, leaning against the wall, and she stays lying down on the bed. 

"I'm not over her." I admit. I can't believe I said that out loud. She looks up at me, I can't tell exactly what she's thinking like I normally can. "What're you thinkin'? I can't figure it out." 

I reach down to play with her hair; she smiles, leaning closer to me. "I'm just worried about you, baby. It's been months. You're really not over her?" 

I'm not. I miss her, and honestly, I'd still get back together with her if given the opportunity. "No." I look down at our hands. I run my fingers over our intertwined ones, distractedly. "I miss her." 

"Why? She cheated on you. Four times." Gee, thanks for the reminder. I sigh softly.

"But I loved her so much, Bil. I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with her. And it's over." She sits up, too. She scoots closer to me and rests her head on my shoulder. "I miss her." 

She wraps her free arm around my waist, pulling me even closer. "The heart works in weird ways." I hum in agreement. And then suddenly, her lips were on mine. I didn't hesitate before kissing back, but I couldn't help but wonder what this was really going to mean. Billie had come out to me a few months ago, so I'm not too surprised, I just don't know what to think. She pulled away first. "Fuck, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to--!"

This time, I kissed her. I pull away and whisper, "Listen, I'm just gonna put it out there, I'm not good at romance. But I want to try this, as long as you do." She smiles down at her lap. "Aw, Billie, you're blushing!" I poke her cheek teasingly. 

"Fuck off, I don't blush." 

And then I remember suddenly: "Your shirt!" I hop out of the bed, and search through my dresser for it, pulling out the white shirt, now wrinkled.

"No way. You didn't!" She giggles, taking the shirt, looking at in awe. "You actually made it," She says in disbelief. "You're such a fuckin' dork!" 

"You love it." I joke. She nods, and slips the shirt on over her hoodie. "That looks ridiculous," She just shrugs. It's a a little small on her, and the hoodie makes it even tighter, not to mention she's probably got another shirt on underneath. "And you still look gorgeous." 

She pouts, crossing her arms and squinting her eyes. "Nope. Mm-mm. Illegal. Not true. False." 

"Redundant." I rebuttal. She just looks at me, confused. "Basically just information that's been said multiple times. So, you're wrong. You're gorgeous, I'm right, you're wrong, so shut up." I press my finger onto her lips for emphasis. She rolls her eyes but can't suppress a smile. She wraps her arms around my waist, kissed my neck, and then rested her head on my shoulder. "You wanna look at the stars with me tonight?" 

I can't tell what she's doing, but I assume she's either smiling or frowning. "I'd love to, you have no idea how much I'd love to do that." 

⭑⭑⭑

It's breathtaking. We can't see a lot of stars, because it's L.A., but it's still one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. I set down the blanket I brought up, and we lay together on it. "So, what do you think?" 

"It's gorgeous. Someday, I'm gonna take you to Big Bend National Park. It's got the best view of stars I've ever seen." She whispers, cuddling into my side. "But this is amazing."

"Are you scared of falling in love?" I am. I think I'll feel guilty if I do. 

She sighs before she answers. "I think if it's the right person," She emphasized it by looking at me. "It's gonna be fine. But if it's not, I'd be terrified." 

I nod. "It's pretty much the same thing for me. Like, what if you fall in love with..." I'm trying to think of a good comparison. 

"With someone who cheats on you?" She looks at me pointedly. "Sorry, that was a dick thing for me to say." 

"Yeah. That." I don't say more, I just look up at the stars and think. 

She's right, I'm not over Mia yet.