Alex just came home about half an hour, he didn't say anything and just went straight to our bedroom. I figured he was having a bad day so I let him be for a while. I finished the next episode of Full House and then I got up from the couch and walked into our bedroom. Alex was sitting on the bed, shirtless, leaning on the headboard, looking down at his phone. He didn't look up at me, "Al?" I asked knocking on the doorframe. "Yeah?" he still didn't look at me. I walked over to the bed and stood in front of it. "What's wrong?" I asked, looking at him, concerned. He just shrugged, "Just another bad day at the studio..." He sighed. I nodded my head and walked over to his side of the bed, placing a hand on his thigh.
"How was it bad?" I asked, making him place his phone next to him, finally looking up at my concerned eyes. "Writer's block," he said, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. "Can I help in any way?" I asked. He just shook his head. "Do you want to be alone?" I asked, knowing that he likes his privacy. He shook his head again, earning a smile from me. I stood up and climbed on top of him. He opened up his eyes and brought one of his hands to hold up his head.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked making him shake his head for the third time. I gave him a sympathetic smile and placed my hands on his chest. "Need inspiration?" I asked, reaching for the hem of my shirt and pulling it off. His eyes went from my face to my chest and then back at my face.
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Alex sighed and placed his hands on my hips, "I can't," he said.
I furrowed my eyebrows, "Why not?" I asked.
His hand went up and down my sides, "I'd be using you and that's not right," he said.
I leaned down to his ear and whispered, "I want to be used, baby,"
His breath hitched and I smirked pulling away. "You will be the death of me," he sighed, rolling over so he was on top. I giggled and started unbuttoning his jeans while he kissed my neck.
"I love you, Y/n," he groaned into my neck. I finished unbuttoning his pants and ran my hands through his hair.
"I love you too, Alex," I moaned as he found my sweet spot. "More than anything," I added.
He pulled away and looked into my eyes, "Do you really mean that?" He asked in a low voice.
"Of course, baby," I cupped his cheek. "I love you more than words can describe, I thought you knew that?" I asked furrowing my eyebrows.
His face softened and he engulfed me in a tight hug. "Alex?" I giggled, running rubbing his back.
"I don't think you understand how much I needed that," his voice broke. I grabbed his face and pulled it up, he had tears brimming up in his eyes. "Baby," I sighed wrapping my arms around him and he sobbed into my chest.
I kissed his hair and massaged his head. "What's wrong? Answer truthfully," I said.
He sighed and tried to pull himself together, "I don't know, I just feel useless. I can't even write songs anymore and because of all my time in the studio I don't leave any time over for you and I. I feel like a shitty songwriter and boyfriend," he rambled, finishing with a loud sob. Even though I hated it when he cried, he looked and sounded adorable.
"Alex, look at me," I said and he looked up at me with a sad face. I pouted at him. "You are an amazing songwriter, my favorite songwriter," I wiped away his tears. "You have written all of my favorite songs and do I need to remind you about all the awards you guys have won? You are just having writer's block, it will be over in no time and you'll be the talented writer that we all know," I leaned in and pecked his nose.
"And the boyfriend part is just bullshit and you know it. When I committed to this relationship I knew that you were a busy man and as long as you feel good doing what you're doing, I'm happy," I brushed his hair away with my fingers.
"I fucking love you, you are amazing and I adore you with my whole-ass heart," I said and he just looked at me, seconds later his chin started shaking.
I pulled him closer towards me again and he started crying once again. "I love you," I kissed the top of his head, "I love you," I kissed him again, "I love you," again, "I love you," again.
"Y/n, you're an angel, you are my angel. I feel like you were sent to earth from heaven for me. I am being a hundred percent honest when I say that I have no fucking idea how I would survive without you. I love you, so, so, so much," he kissed my chest and I felt his hot tears on my skin.
Alexander David Turner, always amazing with words but that's what makes his songwriting so amazing.
"You are incredibly cute when you cry but I want you to be happy, always, what can I do to make you happy?" I asked, tracing his back with my fingertips.
"Just hold me," he sounded like a child, I wrapped my legs around his waist, and Alex calmed down even more.
I just held him for almost an hour whispering encouraging words in his ear. The night ended with Alex and I cooking dinner together and eating it in bed while I helped Alex write some lines which he was grateful for. It was a nice night, one to cherish.
