the pressure
sneaks up on me
like a tiger in the thicket
stalking its prey
it attacks and swallows
me whole
as I descend downward
words on a chalk board fly by me
like an unwanted game of scrabble
failure, 6 points
waste, 3 points
disappointment, 11 points
wondering why I can't measure up
why I can't beat the game
watching all my friends win feels about the same as getting a
participation trophy
except when you're a grown up,
participation trophy means
not good enough
I try hard not to wish my life away
not to long to be older and wiser
more experienced
but I can't help but watch the numbers on the clock and be relieved
when the day is over
relieved when the test is through
exhale when I can flip the page on the calendar
sometimes I wonder if it's all in my head
other times, I know it is
Blaming others make it easier
I know it's wrong
I tell myself someday it'll all be amazing
sometimes it's amazing now
but I can't help but to let the tiger creep up on me
just when I've forgotten about him for awhile
when I forget to camouflage myself with pharmaceuticals
when life seems, just okay for a bit
he sneaks up
and each of his teeth are a lost friend
a hurtful comment
an embarrassing memory
and once again
he swallows me whole
and I lay there
in the bottomless pit
the stomach of the tiger
and I hope that one of these days
he'll finally just digest me
YOU ARE READING
untitled
שיריםpoetry written by me over the last 3 years. embark on my journey with me - entry into nursing practice the death of my father moving to a new city
