Taehyung remembered when he met Seokjin. He remembered that day very detailed and meticulous. It was the first day of his official work after graduating from University, he was so nervous, hands shaking as he entered the building. A weird nervousness that everyone had and Taehyung couldn't overcome it even with so much lavender tea. He got closer to his boss, who asked him to wait. And he did. He waited for his supervisor to reach and there was when he met Seokjin. He still recollected how his shining magnificent smile soothed his apprehensive anxiety. His tensed shoulders eased and felt brave enough to give a tiny smile as he shook hands with him. Their work cubes were next to each other, no walls, no doors, nothing just two tables beside each other. Taehyung worshipped it. Seokjin was always by his side. For teaching new stuff, for clearing his mistakes and for when he messed up his work and Seokjin took all the responsibility of. One day he forgot to bring his lunch and in the thought of ordering he ended up sharing Seokjin's food. His supervisor turned to be his comrade in everything. They ate together and they worked together, sometimes Seokjin dropped him home. Everything, every insignificant star in the universe destined them to be closer and closer.
Taehyung had friends, even best friends like Jimin. Seokjin was only another friend but he filled the lacking blank space differently in Taehyung's soul. Taehyung felt warmer, he felt his life was spring seasoned only with Seokjin. His work was easier, his life was easier and so his breathing. He was calmer now, he preferred a cup of tea and a book rather than joining Jungkook and Jimin in the arcade. He felt good, a developing serenity enveloping him like a baby in the womb. As they got closer, as their friendship got deeper Taehyung knew he was falling harder. First, he noticed he was in love when their eyes met while watching a shitty comedy movie, their eyes met and Taehyung felt like he was lost in a maze, tones of riddles slipping into his mind and Taehyung didn't want anything more than to saunter those eyes over and over again, reach to the deepest spot Seokjin's eyes let him to. Taehyung fell in love in a moment of unrecognized, there wasn't an exact time or niche. He just found himself adoring, admiring, cherishing and loving Seokjin, He found his heart stuttering a lot when Seokjin looked at him, he found himself shivering whenever Seokjin's hand brushed his. There were times when Seokjin would give up on driving back home and he would crash on Taehyung's place, both drained and exhausted from work would order take-out from their favourite restaurant. Taehyung loved Seokjin pretty much and little by little he found himself attaching to Seokjin. There was an inseparable zenith devotion in his heart that yearned for Seokjin even if they were sitting next to each other. Taehyung craved Seokjin in his lonely nights with a cold bed he laid on. He wanted more touch, he wanted more of Seokjin, all of Seokjin. There were nights he was afraid of his three a.m shadow when he would just grab a paper and would start to draw Seokjin with a glimmer of surreality. He wanted to calm next to Seokjin but what he wanted most was to go home. The home, which was full of his safest sounds next to Seokjin. He wanted to hold hands with Seokjin, he wanted to be close to him, closest actually. He wanted to drown in Seokjin and his shining caramel eyes and his flickering smile. He found a way toward eternity through Seokjin, a way where he could pave it with roses scenting the way. With all feelings and sentiments boiling in Taehyung's heart, he raised a fragile flower that couldn't bloom. Couldn't bloom when Seokjin wasn't his and Taehyung could feel his love draining just like the flower petals falling down. There were nights when Seokjin was watching the movie attentively, Taehyung would turn to him, eyes fixed on him the whole time, watching the crinkle around his eyes whenever he laughed. He spent hours scanning every feature and curve of the man who didn't spare him a glance the whole time.
Taehyung was hopeless. A happy hopeless boy he never complained as long as he was next to Seokjin. Jimin once said
"move on, think about your happiness"
, Taehyung thoughts about it a lot, moving on from Seokjin?
"Life is much powerful than we can imagine. It doesn’t go according to our wish. We can’t choose whom we fall for. Nope, that’s not up to us. Because the term ‘blinded in love’ occurred for some reason. Lol. How can someone think about their happiness when they are in love? Isn’t love supposed to be selfless? Thinking about thyself is the “selfishest” thing ever of this planet. You might say he doesn’t love me back so why I am hurting myself sticking to it and expecting the unexpected to happen? Let me tell you this. Have you ever been in love? I don’t think so. Because if you did, you’d know loving someone immensely is the most beautiful thing in the world. Even if it’s one-sided or has no future, but the peace you get thinking about them, the satisfaction of giving your purest love to them is enough for you to live happily ever after." Taehyung answered it after some days when they were drunk and messy.
Taehyung was grateful and satisfied. He tasted love when he met Seokjin and the true time could hold him in his arms. Did he ever? They were pretty close to hug each other as friends but did it tasted the same for Seokjin as it tasted for Taehyung? There were times Taehyung would snuggle closer and grip Seokjin rigid, Seokjin would tighten his grip too. "Even if you say it's a useless dream, just stay a little more like this" Taehyung thought. He knew his thoughts were as useless as his hopelessness but still either existed so livid and fresh.
Taehyung kept everything locked inside his heart. Seokjin never figured it out and Taehyung was delighted. Not so delighted because one hopeful side of him pleaded for Seokjin to see his love and affection then maybe there was a lowkey chance for a
