Most of the world doesn’t know what insanity feels like. It’s like a type of adrenaline- but worse. What you’re doing when you’re insane isn’t good, like it is when you have adrenaline. It’s quite the opposite. Every move you make seems like another pathway that leads into the same destination- confusion.
These past few weeks ever since the shooting have been Hell for me. Nothing makes sense and no matter how hard I try, I can’t escape from the darkness inside me.
How do you escape from a nightmare, if you aren’t asleep?
I’m useless, a nuisance, a meaningless life form. Everything around me seems to be harmed- everyone is hurt. That’s why I’m going to do it.
I’m going to end it.
NIALL’S POV
“So he’s an old friend of her and he’s gay? That means she wasn’t cheating on me! Oh, that’s a relief.” I smile at Hannah, who just explained the entire situation with the boy that Sadie was apparently “cheating” on me with.
“Yeah, there’s just one thing bothering me about this entire situation…” She says quietly.
“What?”
“Sadie told me she couldn’t hang out with me today because she was going to her parents’ house. Why would she lie to me? I know Benny, I would have understood.” She trails off towards the end.
I see Liam poke his head out from the kitchen, where he and Sara, one of our two stylists and also his girlfriend of 3 years, are making dinner. “Did you say she’s at her parents’ house? Didn’t you say…” He looks at Sara.
Sara nods. “I swear!”
I look at them confused. “What’s going on?”
“I called her today to check up on her.” Sara begins and looks down at her hands with a look of worry on her face. “She told me she was going out with Dalia.”
“No, Dalia’s on a date with a guy she met in college.” Hannah says quickly, her face turning more confused with each word.
“Why don’t you just call the girl?” Harry laughs as he walks in. “I’m sure there’s a perfectly logical explanation.”
“Do you think I haven’t tried that?” I snarl, half annoyed.
“I have Benny’s number, I’ll try calling him.” Hannah sighs and takes out her phone, dialing in the number. She puts it on speaker as a boy answers.
“Hey, Hannah!” His happy voice answers.
“Bennyyy! Hi! Sorry to be so blunt, but are you with Sadie?”
“No, I dropped her off at her house just five minutes ago. She said she had a dinner date with Niall.” He answers. “I gotta go, I’m on the freeway. Bye, girl!”
The sound of the other line hanging up fills the now silent room.
“Something’s not right. I’m going home to check up on her.” I finally declare.
“We’ll come. I’m worried about her now.” Hannah says, grabbing Harry’s hand as well to show he’s coming too.
“Us, too.” Sara and Liam say.
I don’t even care who’s following me as I run to my car and start the engine, speeding home. They all get in their cars and trial behind me.
Dear God, what’s she up to this time?
The car ride to our apartment feels like hours, even though it’s really only about ten minutes away. The worst case scenario comes into my mind. What if she has another guy over? Oh my God. No, no. I have to have faith in her. I know she would never do that to me.
Finally, I get to our driveway and I park there, fast walking to the door. I feel like I shouldn’t be worried; she’s probably just watching TV or something and lied because she wanted to be alone.
I open the door and call out. “I’m home!”
No response.
“Is she here?” Hannah yells from the car. When she sees me shake my head ‘no’ they all exit their cars and run to join me.
“Sadie?” Sara yells out.
No response.
“Everyone split up, she has to be here somewhere.” Liam says.
We all go in separate directions.
I run to our bedroom and quietly open the door, making sure she isn’t just asleep. There’s a figure in the bed, so I walk over, relieved. But as I pull the covers back- it’s just a bunch of pillows arranged to look like a human’s form. Why would she do that?
There’s a slip of paper on our bed and I pick it up.
‘Dear Niall, Hannah, Harry, Liam, Louis, Dalia, Zayn, Sara, Mom, Dad, Jason, Violet, and everyone else I’m going to miss…’
Holy shit, Sadie. No!
As my eyes trail the suicide note, I hear a blood curdling scream, from Hannah I think.
With the note in my hands, I sprint to where the scream came from- the bathroom.
Hannah’s standing there pointing at something 1000 times worse than what I thought could have been the worst case scenario.
I hear another scream, and I half consciously realize that it’s my own yell, as I look at the most heart-breaking thing I have ever seen.
The love of my life is lying motionless on the bathroom floor, with an empty bottle of pills spilled out next to her.
“Is she still alive?!”
“Oh my God!”
“CALL A FUCKING AMBULENCE!”
Please be alive, Sadie. Don’t leave me now.
Please, please, please be okay.
~~AUTHORS NOTE~~~
OKAY I SWEAR THIS IS NOT THE END. Don't hate meee!!! But this is an intense chapter isnt it. Oh my god. As always, comment, vote, add to your lists, and fan me because I love it when you guys do that. If I get enough feedback on this chapter, I promise the next chapter won't have another cliffhanger- because I know you guys get mad at me when I do that x) I LOVE YOU GUYS. GET VOTING/COMMENTING/FANNING!!!
love always, SADIEEEE<3
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Irish This Will Never End (IYLM Sequel)
FanfictionWho would have ever thought the girl who backstabbed One Direction would end up dating Niall Horan? I sure didn't, but I guess nothing in my life really ever makes sense. My name is Sadie and last summer, I made mistakes, I ruined friendships, I fel...
