Sunghoon fatally groaned, grabbing his hair and pulling on it as he tried to rid himself of the internal pain by inflicting it on himself physically.
The harder he pulled on his hair, the more satisfied he felt. But it wasn't enough satisfaction.
He pulled harder, his fists tightly clenching the roots of his hair.
No matter how hard he pulled, though, he just wasn't able to rid himself of that sinking, shameful feeling.
Then, the door of his room opened, and in came his mother.
"Sunghoon, what are you doing?" She quipped, staring him down as his back pressed further into the wall. His head hung low, and she sighed, standing above him.
"Sweetheart, if you don't want to fail, then maybe you should study and better yourself. You know we're only hard on you because we want the best for you. We've offered help too, you know. Remember your Seon Hyung? When he was your age, he was a model student. If you want to improve, take notes and start behaving like he did. There's no need to brood over this, just study and get better, okay? You shouldn't get so dramatic at times, just talk to us."
After her speech, Sunghoon was left in an even worse mood.
'Stop comparing him to me.
I'm trying, can't you see that?
Studying is hard, I can't do it. I'm not good at any of this.
I can't tell you any of this because you'd get angry at me, and you're so judgmental. I'd rather go crazy than let you in.'
And so Sunghoon sat there defeatedly, letting the weight of his thoughts and insecurities take him under.
He was drowning.
~~~
a/n: okay so i may have been listening to Sing For You while writing this, hence why it's so--
s a d
but like- hear me out
I'm trying to convey the feeling of falling behind and failing. The times when you feel that nobody will understand, and this unjustified relationship with parents who claim they do it all for your sake. I hope I portrayed that in some light.
okay but i swear the fluff and sunshine sunoo will come and melt the ice prince soon i swearrr
also
i dont usually write with italics on, but I just feel like they suit this story more.
AlSo
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE ONE AND ONLY PARK SUNGHOON!!
adjdask i cant believe he's 19 now
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seriously tho how is it possible that even tho we haven't had the boys for so long we've gotten so attached to them? like, it's only been a few weeks since their official debut w/ given-taken.
