I loved you but I lost you

Chapter 06. Depression

Authors note; I did put trigger warnings ! But self harm vomit not eating depression, etc. is brought up quite a bit in this chapter ! Please be careful reading this chapter thank u :)) !!

Alex's pov

The band split up Julie and Luke don't talk luke sleeps with every girl you could possibly think of including Carrie Reggie and Flynn don't talk Reggie Julie and I are the only ones still in contact Kylie doesn't really hangout with us anymore she did in the beginning but then stopped for who knows why Julie has been diagnosed with depression from the whole situation with Luke and all willie and I broke up he didn't want us getting the chance of being taken by Caleb again because of the whole band break up thing so he broke up with me. I get why I want to keep Julie safe she isn't doing her best right now neither is Luke but Julie is trying her best Luke isn't and Reggie is just being there for all of us Flynn doesn't talk to any of us since the whole cheating on Reggie thing and I'm not gonna lie I miss Reggie Luke Julie and I the band I miss our family.

Trigger warning; self harm mentioned
Julie hasn't been herself for months and it's so heart breaking to see she wears all black now her dad has been out of town for weeks along with Carlos and I'm suppose to be watching her from doing anything there are a few times where I didn't see her for a few minutes and she ended up doing something she'll probably regret in the future she only has 5 which is a lot for her but it's better then I was expecting. Today is the last day of school I see Julie walk downstairs she has really baggy eyes underneath and she has tears falling dow from her eyes onto her cheeks, "Julie do you want breakfast?" I look at her "No I'm fine" she said clearing her throat it's been about two weeks since she's last eaten she's getting her food through an IV she has in her back and she has a little bag thing it holds her nutrition and she puts it in her bag and it's good that she's at least getting something in her system but she's always crying she hasn't sang she barley talks she's failing her classes but the teachers are trying to do the best for her they know she's been diagnosed with depression.

We walk into class it's English, Julie zones out "Julie" the teacher calls on her she snaps out of her thoughts, "mmh?" The teacher rolls her eyes "what's the answer to this question?" I look at Julie then back at the teacher "I uh-" I cut her off yes I still do that, "she doesn't know and I think class is almost over anyways" Julie smiles softly and she lays her head on my shoulder. "What is it Jules?" She looks down "I don't feel good Alex" I quickly stand up and help Julie stand up and she can barley stand on her own I grab her bag and my bag and carry them around my shoulders and I help her go to the bathroom and she falls to the ground "hang on Jules" I say putting the bags down and pick up her IV bag and help her back up and help her go to a stall and I lock it and I crouch down next to her and hold her hair back.

She stars throwing up and I rub her back it hurts my heart to see my sister like this, she stops throwing up and flushes the toilet and leans against the toilet "how is he doing?" I look up at her assuming she's talking about Reggie, "who Reggie? He's doing-" she cuts me off "Luke" she says coughing, "Luke Alex" I sigh and sit in front of her, "he's sleeping with every girl he could possibly sleep with not giving a shit in the world right now he's hurting just like you Jules" she starts coughing "sure he is" I stand up "let's get you home" she nods and she can't even stand up on her own anymore so I help her up and grab her IV bag and I practically have to carry her home since she's so close to passing out I've been keeping ray updated. I told him that she's getting worse he asked me to take her to the hospital but I'm only 17 and it has to be a illegal guardian and her aunt tía isn't here and her family is out.

Her dad and brother left before everything happened and couldn't find a way back down because of her brothers games and all that I don't understand why they don't just come down but anyways I pick up the
phone and dial a number.

Trigger warning; self harmed mentioned

"This is Mitch" Luke's dad said, "hey uhm this is Alex I was in a band with your son luke" "yes Alex I've heard about you from Julie how is she?" I sigh and look over at her "her and Luke got into a pretty rough fight and she's cut herself a few times and she's been diagnosed with depression and the band broke up and she doesn't talk to anyone she hasn't eaten in two weeks and now she has an IV in her back that's getting her nutrition and her family isn't here and I don't know where or who else to go to" I say tears forming in my eyes. "Bring her here Alex" I nod and hang up and the tears fall down from my cheeks, I walk over to Julie to see her wrapped in a blanket shivering I pick her up by putting my arm under legs and the other under her back and lifting her up carrying the bag for her IV. "Alex where are we going?" She said shivering "we're gonna get you some help okay?" She nods and falls asleep my heart ached for her this is hurt me more then anything I texted Reggie letting him know where we are he said that he would be over in about an hour if Mitch and Emily were okay with it. I knock on the door and Emily opens it she looks at Julie and sees how rough she looks, "please come in come in"

I walk inside and they guide me upstairs into a room and it's Luke's and I look around before setting her into the bed putting her under the covers and tucking her in kissing her forehead "fight please Jules I need you there's so much more then this I promise baby" I said kissing her forehead once again and walking out and sitting at the table with Mitch and Emily. "How long has she been like this?" Emily asked. "She's gotten worse recently but it's been like this recently" Mitch looks at me "how long is recently and how long has she been like this exactly?" I look at Emily and Mitch I sigh "recently? 3 months overall 11 months" Emily looks at me "are you being serious?" I nod my head in response, "I've tried everything and I don't-" Emily grabs my hand as I let tears fall. Mitch speaks up "son this isn't your fault" I nod my head and wipe away the tears.

Someone knocks on the door, "I got it" I say standing up and opening the door and it's Reggie we both exchange sorrowful looks and we just hug and Reggie starts crying, "where is she Alex?" He asks letting go of me "Luke's room" i reply and I go upstairs with him closing the door behind him before I open the door walking in and closing it behind Reggie.

Reggie's pov

"Hey" I say grabbing onto julie's hand "your gonna be okay, babe you know that right?" I let a few tears fall down before wiping them away "does Luke know?" I look over to Alex "No I wanted to talk to you about it and see if we wanted to tell him" I nod and I kiss julie's head and let go of her hand my heart absolutely ached the thought of her like this never crossed my mind ever and seeing it now hurts so much.

Trigger warning; self harm mentioned

Alex's pov

We go over to Luke's and walk right in and hear a girl laughing and see her and Luke walk out laughing. "Hey Luke can we talk to you?" He was laughing and looks at us and sees we're serious "yeah" he clears his throat "babe can you?" He says gesturing to the door "sure" she said smiling and kisses him which turns him into kissing back and she walks out "it's about Julie" he immediately drops his smile and looks at us. "She okay?" Reggie was about to say something but I speak up "No Luke she's not okay she's anything but okay she's fucking dying she has depression she has an IV pack with her she's at your parents house her family isn't here to take care of her she's not eating she's throwing up she's feeling sick you left you quit the band you hurt her you chose so many fucking girls over her she told you she loved you even after the argument and you turned her down luke why? Because your scared so was she and now she needs you more then ever more then anything" Luke looks at Reggie and I "No I can't I'm sorry" Reggie speaks up and scoffs before speaking "No that girl deserves more then you can know she said she wanted you to be happy but she didn't think she made you happy Luke now's your chance" I look at Reggie then back at Luke "we know your hurting but she's in so much pain she's self harmed herself because she's scared and she misses you she didn't do all of this because of you she did this because she lost her fucking best friend Luke and her mom now this is all backfiring on her well if you change your mind let us know" Reggie and I walk out closing the door behind us. "You think he'll change his mind?" Reggie speaks up looking at me, "who fucking knows reg" I say looking back at him and sigh.