Shrekigi

The pleasure bug

The Shiddy Giddy Goo then began speaking.

"We are here today to congratulate a totally 100% wholesome not gay so straight 100% not homo 100% not HIV Positive couple. This wedding isn't traditional and it is very different but I think I will let these two tell you how they feel themselves."

I pulled out my note shaking. Everyone had their eyes pasted on us.

"Wa...Waluigi..I love you so much..when I touched those long and smooth bananas at Bravo I knew I met the love of my oagerhood."

Everyone clapped besides the multiple Goombas since they don't have hands.

Waluigi looked at me and took a deep breath.

He took out the letter and read it.

"Shrek..never in my life would I have ever imagined someone like you would fall in love with me. After leaving relationships were I always felt weak you made me feel stronger. You have encouraged me when I was down and when I touched those hard smooth bananas I knew we were meant to be."

Everyone clapped once more besides the handless Goombas.

We smiled at each other with tears in our eyes.

The Shiddy Giddy Goo then spoke.

"Do you, Waluigi take Shrek as your totally 100% not gay husband."

He teared up.

"Oh yes..YES!"

"And do you Shrek take the 100% boney Waluigi as your not gay husband."

I looked at him happier than ever.

"YES!"

I held his hands quickly.

I put the lifesaver on his finger and he put a large bagel on mine.

"You may now kiss you beautiful motherfuckers!"

We kissed like never before.

His paper thin lips were against my thicc ones.

I held him close never like before.

I gave him a good sniff over and over to take in his nice sweaty tennis racket smell.

I grabbed him hard and didn't let go.

When we were done being gay we left to the dinner table and began feasting.

I noticed No Tit Nancy texting.

"Hey Shrek someone is asking me for nudes should I do it?"

I didn't even know her that well.

"Yah sure..yum..nudes."

"Ok!"

She put her phone under her shirt and took a picture.

The person she was talking to responded quickly.

"I didn't know you were Pancake chest oh hell naw."

She began to tear up.

"WHY WON'T PEOPLE ACCEPT ME TIT LESS!"

I tried not to laugh and kept my manners.

"That's so sad Nancy Im so sorry.."

She looked at me.

"Your so nice Shrek but this is enough. I'm tired of having the body of a squid..When will somebody accept my flounder shaped body..You know..I want-"

Waluigi offered a toast to the table.

"A toast to my wonderful husband..eh hem..you gave my life meaning and purpose..it's amazing to have you here..and us together make a amazing team."