Shrekigi

Kill it

--------------------5 Miserable Years Later-----

I still didn't get over Garrets ugly face. His eyes haunted me day and night. I wanted to choke him some days. Every day he just got uglier and uglier.

"Dada can you read me a story before I go to sleep?"

We didn't want to. I felt Waluigi's fear quivering my ass cheeks.

"Sure..why not.."

Garret smiled.

I almost vomited. He only had one tooth left after all those fights he got in his school. He was always getting his booty cheeks beat.

I walked to the room and picked up a book.

"Ehehm..once upon a time-"

"LOUDER!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"ONCE UPON-"

"Why do you speak so low?"

I tried my best not to knock his last tooth out.

I then, with all my orge might, I yelled out loud.

"ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS A MAN WHO LIVED IN A-"

"This story is boring!"

I slammed the book against the wall.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT!"

Garret began to cry.

"Your such a meanie!"

He blowed his nonexistent nose onto his bed sheets. I cringed, but I had to make him feel better.

"Look Garret you need to understand that it's hard for me to be near your...face...I'm still getting used to it..so shut up and stop crying."

He cried louder. My eardrums started shaking, I had to make it stop.

"Ok! Ok! Your a beautiful boy with a nice body-"

"PEDOPHILE!"

I gave up.

"GOOD NIGHT! And don't let the bedbugs bite!"

Garret stopped for a second.

"We have bedbugs?"

I rolled my eyes.

"No it's just a-"

He interrupted me.

"And they bite!!??"

"Garret just-"

He started screaming.

"AHAHAHAHHA!!"

I shut the door and let him cool down himself. I then saw a growing light in the distance become brighter and brighter.

"Hello my children!"

I gasped.

"Jesus!"

"No..Shiddy Giddy Goo.."

I was afraid of what he might say.

"Look I get your child is undeniably hideous but you guys need to give him a chance."

"We did for 5 painful years!"

"But in that timespan did you get to know Garret?"

"YES!"

"Tell me about him then."

I then preached.

"Umm...he's annoying..he likes shitting on himself even though he's FREAKING 5! He likes to smear his caca against the walls...did I mention he's annoying? Did you see our walls? They were once white and now there all brown!"