A night on the town

Part 19

The following days melded into one another, as you were not allowed to do much. You stayed, for the most part, in your quarters as you could hide from the crew and your friends. The exhaustion you felt mixed with the painful headaches that were still occurring had you wanting to block out life, at least for now. While your friends were trying to be comforting, it was too much. The closer you got to Earth the more your heart ached with wanting to see your daughter and husband. Jim stopped by a few times a day to make sure you were eating and not over exerting yourself. It was good to talk with him at times, but after the fourth visit the day before arriving back home you blew up at him.

"Jim! I am fine. I am not going to go crazy or have a complete breakdown." He crossed his arms as he stared at you from the doorway.

"I know you aren't. I almost got you killed and I want to make sure nothing else happened to you. Hell you almost died when you had Analynn. It feels like you almost slip away too often. I... I need to make sure you aren't going anywhere." The defeat in his voice hurt your heart. Sighing loudly you stood from the couch to walk over to hug him tight.

"We are a mess." Jim wrapped his arms around you, squeezing for a moment before pulling back to sit on the couch.

"Yeah we are. But I think we have good reason. It's been a helluva time since you came on board."

"Yes it has. It is hard to believe that I have been on the ship this long... that it is almost two years since I met Leonard and started this whole insane journey." You sighed looking down at your hands.

"Do you really want to leave all this?" Jim asked quietly as he leaned back to look at you. He could see the exhaustion and withdrawn position in which you sat.

"I need my family Jim. This has been the worst few weeks of my life. If my family can't be here then this is not where I need to be."

"But you want to be here, on a starship doing what you enjoy, saving lives and exploring the galaxy." The short unenthusiastic laugh that escaped summed up your entire being at that moment.

"My wants don't matter if I can't have them too. Life isn't perfect and it isn't fair all the time. Someday I will find something else I really want to do. Until then I will enjoy my daughter and try to rebuild what I have with my husband. At this point that would make me happier than I have been in a while." Jim wanted to say so much more but he knew it would be for selfish reasons. Instead, he nodded before standing to leave.

"We should dock around 1000 tomorrow. If you want, you should be able to talk to Bones. Command has given the okay for outbound communications now. Make sure you eat something tonight." He was out the door before you had a chance to respond. You were not sure what was off with him, but something was definitely wrong with Jim. He was different and you could not put your finger on it. Perhaps you should be a better friend and find out what was bothering him. In the morning before you docked on Earth, you would talk to him.

That thought was pushed aside quickly as you had now had permission to contact Leonard. It was early afternoon there and you hoped that you would be able to see Analynn too. It was only moments before Leonard's face popped up on the viewer.

"[Y/N], darlin, I am so glad to see you. I have been worrying day and night... Jim told me what happened and I... Baby I am so sorry. I should have been there. I should have..." Tears filled your eyes quickly just at seeing his face. That excited feeling started to build in your stomach knowing in less than twenty-four hours you would be able to hold them both.

"Leonard I am all right I swear. It's over and I am coming home to you and Analynn." That typical stubborn 'Leonard' look came over his face.

"Like hell you are. I can see how tired you are. Looks like you haven't eaten in weeks. I already..." You held up a hand to stop him.