things i'll never say ~ l.l.p.

fourteen - fancy

My fifth year started a few weeks after the encounter in Flourish & Blotts, and quite a stir was caused by the reappearance of Mason Bones. Everybody in our year and above remembered the circumstances under which he had left, and they were astonished to see him as he now was.

And how was he, you ask? Well, he was everything he had always been, and more. I didn't interact with him much at first, but I would be lying if I said I didn't pay attention. He was still Mason. Still annoyingly clever. Still full of jokes and laughter. Still polite and charming, beyond which, I noticed with some amusement, he'd acquired a knack for flirtation.

When I say he flirted, I mean he flirted with every living soul that entered his vicinity. Every girl from fourth to seventh year. Hell, he flirted with the female teachers, if they were young enough. I would have said he flirted with his mates, too, even though I knew he didn't really. I was pretty sure I would have been able to tell if he actually liked guys — after all, I lived with somebody who did. The way Mason acted around his friends was more open and playful. Not like how Albus acted around Scorpius, all tension and treading carefully, like he was trying to keep a bomb from exploding.

I doubt I would have even noticed Mason's flirting, if it hadn't been so immediately effective. Within the first few weeks of school, I had encountered three people who were clearly nursing secret crushes on him, and two more who didn't bother denying their feelings. One of these, to my immense surprise, was Autumn.

Our little first year friend group had not remained extremely close for all of the past three years. After Mason left, Charlie looked for new friends, and surprisingly found two of them in Slytherin. Both were girls. One was a short, stocky, dark-haired girl called Lucia Perez, who was snarky most of the times but could be chill when she wanted to be. The other was Julia Addams, the daughter of the Minister's step-brother who had mouthed off at McGonagall on the first day of our first year.

They were both decent people, I suppose, but the problem was that they both clung to Charlie like crazy. Autumn and I tried to hang out with the three of them, but the tension between Julia and Lucia, who hated each other with a passion, became too much to bear. What ended up happening was this: by the end of second year, Autumn bonded with Luce, and I bonded with Jules, and Charlie decided he wanted to hang out with Scarlett, so we all went our separate ways.

Autumn and I still talked, of course. We shared a dormitory, so it would have been hard not to. There was never a falling-out, we just sort of grew apart. Autumn didn't like Jules much, and Luce didn't like me much, so that was that.

Anyways, when Autumn fell into step next to me after dinner one day, maybe the third Friday of the term, I was sort of surprised. "Hey," I said, smiling. "What's up?"

She gave a soft, awkward laugh. "Um, not much. I just, um, was wondering... do you speak to Mason at all these days?"

Startled by the question, I studied her face. Autumn had changed very little in the past few years, other than getting taller and filling out. She was still tan and sort of lanky. She wore wire-framed glasses. And, I noted, she was chewing on her lip, which had always been a tell that she was nervous. Why was she nervous?

I shook my head in answer to her question. "No, I'm not doing that again. You saw me after he left; I was a mess. I'm just... I'm done with him." I raised an eyebrow at her. "Why are you asking?"

Autumn stared at the ground. "It's nothing. I just, well... I fancy him, I guess?"

If I had been drinking water, I would have spit it out. As it was, I just stared at her, incredulous. "You fancy Mason?¨

My friend cringed. "... Yeah. Is that... weird?"

I shrugged. "No... I guess not. I mean, you're not the only one. He's got all the girls falling at his feet."

"Yeah, no kidding," Autumn sighed.

I tucked my arm in hers and we continued walking. "So... what's the deal exactly? You're going to have to give me more than the vague situation of fancying him."

"Oh, well, it's... there's not much to tell. I just think he's cute, I guess."

I snorted. "No shit, Sherlock." It would have been useless for me to deny his attractiveness; he was, objectively speaking, almost perfect. But I would die before I ever said that out loud.

Autumn rolled her eyes. "You and your filthy mouth."

I ignored her comment and said, "So, do you actually speak to Mason? Or are you one of the multitude that admire him from afar, swooning over every word that comes out of his mouth?"

Blushing, my friend said, "Merlin, of course I don't speak to him! I'd make a fool out of myself. His personality is too strong... I'm an introvert! it's intimidating."

"Autumn... you realize this is Mason we're talking about, right? Mason, who we spent our whole first year doing all kinds of shit with?"

"Oh, that's rich coming from you," Autumn said in a dry tone. "You won't even look at the guy."

"He doesn't deserve to be looked at," I retorted. "He's an inconsiderate bastard."

"You have no trouble looking at his best friend... quite consistently, I might add." My friend's voice was sly.

I narrowed my eyes at her, unamused. "Must we start this again?"

"We're starting it as many times as it takes for us to finish it. Can't you just admit that you like him?"

I stopped in my path, turning to face her. "Autumn. I do not fancy Charlie Corner. End of discussion."

She groaned. "Oh, come on, you at least think he's cute. You are too obviously entranced every time he speaks in class. There's no way that you don't feel something."

These days, Charlie and I mainly talked about books and movies. We recommended a lot of things to each other, or we obsessed over things we had both read or watched. We both loved The Lord of the Rings, so that was a common source of discussion, as was the Marvel Cinematic Universe. He had tons of merchandise, and I knew all the obscure trivia. It was a casual sort of friendship, not a deep one, but I enjoyed Charlie. He was clever and funny and didn't think I was weird for preferring books to people, because he was as nerdy as me. He was basically the Peter Parker of Hogwarts, if Peter was naturally gifted with magic rather than bitten by a radioactive spider.

So, maybe I did fancy him a little bit. But I sure as hell wasn't going to admit that to Autumn. And it was a good thing I wasn't planning on it, because we had reached the entrance to Ravenclaw tower, and Charlie could very easily have been just inside the door.

"I don't feel a thing, Autumn. Now shut the fuck up," I said, beaming at her.

It took us a moment to come up with the right answer the door's riddle, but it was only marginally hard and we got it on our third guess. Autumn glanced at me before going in and said, "You know I don't believe you about Charlie... I wish you'd just admit it. It's hard to keep a friendship going when you don't trust me."

I bit the inside of my mouth to avoid an actual frown. "We'll see," I said quietly. Then I forced a smile. "Look, you go on..." I said. "I think I'm gonna go look for Jules. She said she'd be down by the Black Lake."

Autumn tilted her head. "Perhaps I ought to come. Luce might be there."

I shook my head quickly. "She won't, if Charlie isn't. And I doubt he will be."

My friend gave a slight smile. "Yeah. You're right." She hesitated, then said, "What on earth do you and Julie do, for all those hours you spend out there?"

I shrugged, a nonchalant expression on my face. "I dunno... just hang about. Talk, mostly. Nothing exciting."

"Right." Autumn looked down. "Well... have fun, I guess. I'll see you later."

"Yeah," I said. "Later."