Daisies

-2-

To Kim Yohan.

Hyung, I don't know what to write.

You have always been the more talkative between the two of us and I'm pretty sure you'd be able to come up with so many things to write about. Hell, you help everyone out with homework and stuff like that. And you're kind, so caring and unselfish.

No wonder everyone loves you. Even I do, for that part.

Isn't that pathetic?

You'll never be able to read this letter anyways, since I'll throw it away later and make sure it disappear for good.

I don't even know why I am doing this.

Maybe it became a bad habit, like I feared from the beginning. At least I get to pour my feelings out, right?

I don't regret falling for you. Or I do, but there's nothing wrong with you. Nothing is your fault, really.

You are too perfect compared to someone like me. I mean it when I say you deserve to find love and be happy, more than anyone.

It's all my fault, for falling so easily. I knew I was bound to be alone in the end and yet my stupid heart races every time you smile at me.

Yohan hyung, you mean so much to me.

I could go on forever about how I love it when you hug me, I appreciate how you help me out and never leave me alone, even when I'm lying to make you go away. You always saw through my lies.

But not this one.

If I have to, I'll take this secret with me until the day I die. But you are worth it, hyung.

I want to fight for you. I want to make you fall in love with me, see me the way I see you.

Thank god I realized early it was all a delusion. You'll never see me more than that annoying little brother who is clingy and weird all the time.

I'm pitying myself. It's rather sad, don't you think? I'm not even brave enough to do the things I want to do in my life, with my life.

You are a great friend, hyung. I don't want to ruin what we have.

So I'll continue be your dongsaeng, knowing my feelings are still stored deep down.

Today I saw you and Seungwoo hyung at the movies. You guys were smiling and laughing together.

He obviously loves you so much, anyone can see it when they look at his eyes. It makes me smile, seeing you guys being happy. Even if my heart hurts.

I'll gladly be your best man when the day comes, hyung.

Make sure not to mix the flowers, alright?

Junho

~~

"Hey, are you alright?"

One of his classmates asked him that question one day, when they saw him frowning and looking like he could fall asleep any minute.

It was much different from the usually bubbly and happy personality he had and to be quite honest, Yohan didn't know how to answer the question. Was he okay?

Seungwoo had been a great support ever since they met Junho for the first time again after the surgery, seeming almost unaffected by the fact that the younger didn't remember any of them. Though he knew his boyfriend better and he always tried to make sure the older and their friends were not going around beating themselves up.