Daisies

-10-

To Son Dongpyo.

There's a song stuck in my head...

I can't remember the lyrics or the title, but it reminds me of you.

Remember how we used to sing together like maniacs during car rides?

I had lots of fun back then. I still have, though it comes with certain consequences.

What should I do, Dongpyo-ah?

The doctor keeps on telling me to talk to someone, to let others in.

I'm really touched by the way she cares for me. She even told me her brother went through the same thing and didn't want me to end up like him.

I asked her what happened to her brother.

She only said;

"He was alone for such a long time, you know? In the end, he was so lonely he just couldn't bear it anymore."

I wanted to ask more, but she clearly didn't want to think about it.

He's dead, you know?

Suicide.

Aish, I'm getting really depressing here.

I'm sorry. Sorry for always apologizing, sorry for being such a nuisance.

It's hard to look at my scars and not remember.

I'm just relieved none of you guys have noticed.

It'll be better that way.

These coming weeks, I'm going to act like a total jerk.

I'm sorry for that.

But it's a must. I need you to forget me when it's time to do the surgery.

All I want is for you guys to remember those happy moments we spent together.

I want to remember too.

Life is really cruel, unfortunately.

It was better if I never met you at all.

I wouldn't burden you like I do now. And even so, I'm happy for everything you've given me.

Thank you, for being like a soulmate to me.

I've known since the beginning that you would never answer my feelings.

It's okay, though. I'm happy with what we had, even if my heart can't agree with me.

Junho.

~~

It feels like every waking minute, he has to hold back from crying.

Dongpyo couldn't even focus well on his studies anymore, mind always wandering back to a certain puppy-eyed brunette.

It was even worse when he spent time around Junho. In the end, he did even know if he could cry anymore.

He felt drained.

Junho isn't just anyone anymore. It has been a while since he realized how cruel he had been towards the older.

Even though he tries, Dongpyo could still not feel better or forgiven by the older. He knows Junho would've said that he shouldn't think like this and that he would love him no matter what but that was the thing.