When I see you.. (James Potter)

Chapter 6

Walking to the courtyard, we see a group of people waiting. In the crowd I see Prim who also catches our eyes and waves us over to her. „Hi! Good Morning!", I grin and hug her. Pulling out of the hug, I see who she was waiting with. My eyes meet James, perplexed I press my lips together and look to the ground. „Well hello Slytherins", Sirius giggles in our direction. „Bloodtraitor", greets Nila Sirius in annoyance, „Lu, Joy, let's go to Lucius and the rest... Prim if you want to join", she forces a smile to Prim, who shakes her head with a smile. As we started to go, I realize: „Actually... Uhm I'm gonna stay with Prim... just tell Lucius I'll meet him at lunch". I smile slightly and wink to the rest. I get to stand next to Prim as Sirius comments: „Change of sides?". I just wanted to add something but Professor Kettleburn arrives and takes us to an opening at the border of the Forbidden Forest. On the walk, Sirius and Prim seem to be conflicted in a deep conversation with each other. While I try to follow the conversation, James just walks next to me in silence. At one point, his left hand brushes my right hand shortly, awkwardly I quickly put my hand into the pocket of my cloak. For a short second, I try to read something off his face but his gaze goes into the wide. I turn my head to look infront of me again. „So you and Lucius huh?", he asks suddenly. „We're not..", I shake my head, „not what you think..".
„What do I think? Boyfriend and girlfriend?"
„Ja, Uhm, we're not.. we're... I don't know actually. It's just our families have been friends and we kinda grew up together, so yeah I don't know", I shrug my shoulders again. „Hm", he nods and after a long pause he adds, „But you do seem like boyfriend and girlfriend...". I look at him. Does it bother you?, was what I wanted to say but instead, I just say nothing. I'm thinking and thinking of what topic I could talk about with him, but he takes away the lead coming back to the old topic: „I mean, you're both Slytherin, so I guess that is a desired outcome for both of you anyway". Confused I raise my eyebrows, wanting to add something to that but being interrupted again by Professor Kettleburn, who starts the class about Bowtruckles.
For the rest of the class, James seems to perfectly ignore me while working in groups. I work with Prim, he with Remus.

The exercise was to tell Bowtruckles from tree branches, fairly easy. I just lifted up a stick to throw it away as Prim starts to dote about Quidditch. „Oh yes! Aren't the try-outs this evening?", I add to the conversation.
„Yes! Finally, Quidditch season is about to start! I just hope Potter takes me in his team!"
„He better does! He'll not be able to find a better Beater than you!!" „Right!"
„Or wait, maybe he shouldn't take you.. so that Slytherin at least has a chance!", we laugh.
„Common you know that Lu is a good competition for me!", she adds, „will you come and look?"
„Oh I don't know! I already promised Lu and Lucius to watch the Slytherin try-out and I have so much school stuff to do!", I look at her with a pout. „You definitely work too much for school Joy", she laughs, „but fine! Then you have to watch our game against Slytherin on Sunday!" „I wouldn't miss that for the world!", I grin. She goes quite for a second. „What's the matter?", I ask. „I know you'll hate me when I tell you!" „What did you do?", I look at her with a laugh but Prim's face stays serious: „I talked to Sirius". I stop the work I was doing, „no you didn't!", for a second it's calm but I'm too interested in what he had said instead of being angry at Prim. „It is about what I thought it was...", she says and I just look at her making a gesture that she should continue talking. She bites her lip: „I mean, he ... because", she pauses, „because you are a Slytherin...", the last part she says very quiet. „What..", I say in disbelief and if there would have been a chair, I would have sat down. „I have to progress that"
„I know it sounds bad, but I'm sure he'll come around eventually... when he sees what of an excellent catch you are Joy!", Prim stumbles. I shake my head and in silence continue the class project.

At midday, as promised I met Lucius in the Great Hall. His long, white-ish hair that normally sits perfectly straight looks like he didn't brush it for days and his eyes were saggy. Overall he looked tired, while playing with his spoon in his soup. I eye him trying to get behind it. I put my hand on his and he flinches a bit. He looks me in the eye and suddenly seems relieved. „What is wrong Lucius?", I look at him still holding his hand. For a while it seemed like he wouldn't answer, then he says: „Uhm.. well I'm not sure if you would understand..."
„No no explain it to me.. I'm sure it will be fine", I slightly smile at him.
„Uhm okay", he closes his eyes for a second and sets to speak but gets interrupted by loud shattering at the entrance door and big laughter that fills the hall. I turn around to look what is going on, I meet the pair of eyes of a wide grinning boy. He seemingly has a good time. James smiles at me. His eyes glance at my hand that is still intertwined with Lucius', his smile fades and our eye contact broke. I feel my heart missing a beat, I stand up with the intuition to tell him no no James, there's nothing, please... but then I remembered what Prim told me this morning in class and I sit down again.
Lucius doesn't even seem to have noticed the spectacle as he spinelessly stares into his soup again.
In that moment, I forgot that Lucius was about to tell me something of importance, but my head was somewhere else or better said with someone else.