❝𝑮𝑳𝑶𝑹𝒀 𝑵𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑪𝑨𝑴𝑬 𝑬𝑨𝑺𝒀❞
in which two of hogwarts' biggest opposites are more alike than they thought.
☼
or:
in which sage fontaine and sirius black don't know how to talk to each other outside of social media.
〖MARAUDERS-ERA SOCIAL...
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sageybabyspam: conveniently placed tea mug hiding the black eye i got when my best friend's boyfriend punched me in the face !
purebloodbella: sagey rodolphus is so sorry about that, i really can't apologize enough
↳sageybabyspam: cool. brilliant. doesn't take away the fact that he hit me
reglikessnakes: i'm sorry, who did what?
↳sageybabyspam: don't.
rothehoe: i'm seething
chachajoyner: are you going to go to pomfrey and get it fixed up?
↳sageybabyspam: no, i'm gonna wear it as long as i can so he is constantly reminded of what he did
maiadoescrack: sagey i'm so sorry i asked you to mediate
↳sageybabyspam: not your fault. don't apologize when you didn't do anything wrong.
lilythelion: james has had to hold me back all afternoon because i've been so angry
REGGIE & SAGE
reggie so uh it seems like me and my brother had the same bad idea
sage what happened
reggie so i went to talk to lestrange to, y'know, fuck him up after what he did to you but he already had a busted lip, broken nose, and his right eye was super bloodshot
sage oh bloody fucking hell
reggie i asked him what happened and he said that sirius had gotten to him first nearly put him in the hospital, apparently
sage you boys have no sense i don't need my honor defended or whatever it is you thought you were doing
reggie if someone hit maia, or me, or rowan or charlotte or bella or lily, would you do something about it?
sage oh, whoever hit them would be dead but i wouldn't do it in such a primal, animalistic way for merlin's sake, regulus. you're wizards. work smarter, not harder
SAGE & SIRIUS
sage you're an idiot
sirius i'm not about to apologize
sage i. don't. need. you. to. fight. my. battles. for. me. i'm not some damsel in distress. if i wanted lestrange beat up, i would do it myself. besides, we aren't even friends. you don't need to be doing something like that for me.
sirius you say we aren't friends but i think differently we're totally friends
sage i am going to respectfully disagree we don't hang out. we don't have much in common.
sirius alright, then let's hang out
sage no
sirius yes
sage no
sirius please?
sage maybe
sirius pleaseeee?
sage no
sirius we were just at maybe, what happened?
sage i thought about being in your presence and got nauseus
