His Scarf | taekook ✔️

e l e v e n

Jeongguk couldn't watch. He couldn't.

The conflict in his chest grew to new heights. He couldn't watch, but he couldn't leave him either.

"Why— are you— crying, dear?" Her breathing was labored, interrupted by gasps and wheezes of air. Her skin was pale and paper thin, her chest rising and falling subtly.

"I'm not." Of course he was stubborn. Taehyung tilted his head back and blinked slowly as if his tear ducts could reabsorb every drop.

Jeongguk was glued to the window, his eyes darting between them and the view outside. He didn't know where to look. He didn't know if he had any right to even be in this room.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Taehyung asked, the pad of his thumb stroking his grandmother's hand, "I could've stayed with you."

There was a delay in her answer, her organs struggling to support the words formed from her lips. "I'd rather— you spend the— day— happy—" She closed her eyes. "— with him—"

Jeongguk perked up, suddenly realizing that he was him.

"than miserable— here with— me."

"I wouldn't be miserable with you." Taehyung's sentences were quick and to the point. "I'm always here with you."

"That's—" She breathed for a moment, her words becoming strained. "—the problem."

With the painful realization that his grandmother was running out of strength to speak, Taehyung turned around and stretched an arm out for Jeongguk. "Come... please."

The younger's eyes widened, pointing at himself skeptically. And he approached the bed when Taehyung nodded.

Taehyung took his hand, encouraging him to come closer. The younger crouched down next to his plastic chair. "Do you remember Jeongguk?" Taehyung asked his grandmother.

Air sat at the hollow of Jeongguk's throat as she looked the younger up and down and uttered—

"Happy."

"Yes." Taehyung packed all the emotion he willed into that single word. The first tear escaped from his lower lashes. "Yes, he makes me happy."

Jeongguk pressed his forehead against the older's shoulder, feeling his own eyes sting with the urge to cry. That feeling amplified when he saw the smile that tweaked at her lips.

"I love you." Jeongguk found himself saying to this woman he barely knew. And a part of him felt as if he was saying a proper goodbye to his father.

Taehyung swallowed the lump in his airway. "You k-know I love you." He echoed brokenly.

It seemed like any movement was too much of a toll for his grandmother, cause she offered no response. But the way her eyes bored into the two boys unwaveringly said enough.

Taehyung leaned forward and kissed his grandmother's forehead. "Thank you," He mumbled, "Thank you. Thank you."

And he continued his string of words until she took her very last breath.

Jeongguk never left his side after that, through all the medical paperwork, funeral home calls and tough conversations, he held onto Taehyung like a koala. And he saw the exhaustion that clung onto the older's features.

Taehyung was awfully quiet and the younger understood why. The first stage of grief was denial, and it weighed heavily on one's heart.

"Tae," Jeongguk spoke gently as he watched the older jam the key into his apartment door.

The older didn't respond. Perhaps his mind was somewhere else when he hauled himself into his room, shrugged off his jacket and collapsed onto the mattress. Usually he would make a huge fuss about dirty clothes on his bed, but he was too tired to care.

When he rolled onto his side, he saw a worried Jeongguk standing at his doorway and made grabby hands at him.

"Hold me."

The younger didn't hesitate, climbing onto the bed and bundling Taehyung into his arms. Taehyung buried his face in the crook of his neck and inhaled his scent, relaxing against his body.

Silence engulfed the space around them.

"Jeongguk." Taehyung basked in his warmth, melting at the way the younger drew comforting circles into his back. "It's Christmas Day tomorrow."

Jeongguk simply frowned at him, not quite welcoming this conversation.

"It's the end of our deal."

"It's the end of nothing," The younger interjected.

Taehyung reached up and stroked the curve of his cheek. "You should go home, darling."

"No." Jeongguk shook his head furiously. "I'm not leaving you like this."

"I'll be okay," The older insisted, "Yoongi and Hoseok will be back tomorrow morning. They'll be here for me. And I'll be okay." He kissed his forehead. "You should be with your family, just like on any other Christmas. Your dad would want you to celebrate with them."

Jeongguk's eyes glazed over, hating the part of him that admitted he was right. "Are you gonna tell your roommates?"

Taehyung threw his head back and exhaled loudly. "Yeah. I'm gonna tell them everything tomorrow."

"Even about the cataracts?"

"Even about that," Taehyung replied, looking at Jeongguk attentively, "You've taught me to love every version of myself. I'm not afraid anymore."

The younger brushed the fringe of Taehyung's forehead, only to have the bangs fall back into place. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Yes, darling. I'm sure."

"Let me stay the night... I'll go in the morning," Jeongguk decided, very gently taking Taehyung's glasses off and smiling when the older made a face at him.

"What?" Taehyung watched as Jeongguk set them on the bedside table, eyes not leaving the older. "I look better without glasses, don't I?"

The younger shifted forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. "No. You look gorgeous either way," Jeongguk giggled, "I do refer glasses Tae though, just because I fell for him first."

The look on Taehyung's face softened. "Thanks... That— that made me feel better."

The younger awarded him with another kiss, this time on the jaw. "Go to sleep, Tae."

"Goodnight," Taehyung whispered, eyes fluttering close, "Thank you for being here."

And the two boys wandered into the night with their fingers ghosting over skin, making space for the sweet dreams that took over their consciousness. The snowflakes outside the window traced their fates to interweave with each other's like an early Christmas present.