It's complicated.

"You're mine..."

(Recommend to listen on repeat during this chapter lol"

A few days later (Christmas Eve)

My eyes flickered open

I looked over at the clock

4:32 am

I finally got settled into my room yesterday, I share it with hermione.

I couldn't go back to sleep so I walked over to the window in my room and just dazed out trying to remember what it felt like to go outside without someone glued to my side. I feel so sheltered. I understand why protection is needed but...sometimes you just want to be alone.

It was so cozy outside, the ground was freshly coated in white snow and the sky was still hazy which was subtly lit up by the sun starting to rise.

It's hard to believe Christmas was tomorrow.

Christmas doesn't even seem like Christmas anymore

I hadn't had a real Christmas in so long though, I guess none of my Christmas's were normal.

Just then a complete ludicrous thought came across my mind

I wanted to go outside and take in the view...alone

I walked over to my drawer, carful not to wake hermione

I grabbed some sweatpants, sweatshirt, some gloves, and my boots

After I got dressed I opened the bedroom door so carefully

I stepped out closing the door behind me

I went down the steps and made my way towards the door

When I stepped outside the door and shut it behind me

I felt the cold wind blow across my face

I couldn't help but feel warm, I hadn't been alone in so long

I walked for a little bit to find the place draco took me too, it was beautiful there.

When I reached the spot I sat on a bench overlooking the view

I closed my eyes and felt the crisp cold breeze stinging my skin

I took a deep breath just soaking everything in

What a gorgeous view the malfoy's have

I would be out here everyday if I lived here

I noticed a tree trunk right next to the drop off of the view

I walked over and stood up on it

Wow.

The view, the feeling, .....just everything

It seemed all of my worries blew away with the cold breeze and I felt like I was floating.

"Are you crazy?!" I heard a voice shout behind me