How To Save A Life (Grey's Anatomy)

Chapter Thirty-One

Chapter 31

Season 5, Episode 17-19

    Bad outcomes hurt even the best of us. No surgeon becomes immune to the loss of a patient, and if they did, they probably shouldn't be a surgeon anymore. I've felt the loss and helplessness of losing a close patient and it takes the wind out of you for a while. Sometimes you don't know if you'll ever make it back, and if you do, you don't know if you'll be the same.

    Derek has been out of work for weeks after losing a patient. She was pregnant when she died and he took it really hard. Even some of the most experienced surgeons have moments of weakness. Moments where they feel like a helpless person without a scalpel or a brain full of knowledge.

    He's been sleeping on our couch in the same pair of sweatpants for weeks and I'm starting to get sick of it. His beard is grown out and he hasn't eaten a meal other than cereal for way too long. I don't think I've seen him drink anything other than beer so he's obviously dehydrated, the bags under his eyes a dead giveaway.

    "He can't stay like this, Meredith," I mutter to her as we peer through the living room door at him on the couch, sticking his hand into the cereal box.

    "I'm not sure what else I can do. He lost a patient. I'm giving him time." She says as if trying to brush it off before turning and walking toward the kitchen.

    "Yeah, but we all lose patients. This is unhealthy." I say while following her. I know that he's not my responsibility but ever since he moved in, he's technically been my roommate which gives us some kind of relationship, I guess.

    "Well, what do you suggest I do?" She asks as less of a question and more as an underlying challenge.

    "I don't know." I shrug while grabbing my coat from the back of a chair. "Telling him to have a shower would be a great start."

    "I'll try." She chuckles as she follows me through the house and past the living room. I risk looking back at him, sending a wave his way.

    "Have a good day, Derek," I call out sweetly. Maybe I can annoy him off my couch. Instead of wishing me a good day, he grunts in response, shoving another handful of cereal in his mouth. "Charming, Shepherd."

We carpool to work like every other day. Something about today felt different though. I've been noticing for a while that Izzie has been acting weird and it's only gotten worse. Whenever I walk into a room she goes quiet and now the same is happening with Cristina, especially when they're together.

    I know we're all friends but I never thought of them to be exceptionally close, so when I walk into the locker room and see them look up, closing their mouths quickly, I feel like an unwanted pest in someone's home. I try not to let it get to me but I can tell something is wrong.

    "You notice it too, don't you?" I turn to see George looking at me expectantly as we walk down the hall to the ER. I didn't even realize he was beside me.

    "Notice what?" I ask since there is no way he just read my mind.

    "Izzie. She's been acting weird. Something is wrong. I can feel it." He says and I nod slightly.

    "I agree."

    "I tried to talk to her last night but she just dismissed me." He says, turning the hall into the ER and I follow him over to the desk.

    "I think she's been talking to Cristina though, they've been very... huddly the past couple days." I point out and he frowns.

    "Huddly?" He asks, tilting his head in question.