Discovering the Cipher (Abandoned)

How Do You Feel?

Okay I'm not normally serious but I'm about to be. I don't want to hear anything bad about Asexuality. If you have questions feel free to ask POLITELY but do not be rude. I am Ace so it's a very very real thing. As always I hope you enjoy. Loves!

Victor- seriously read the above

After I told Kota that I was doing okay and that I'd be okay Corey pulled me back. Sitting at the bar just quietly talking about anything. My mind wanders over to Kota sitting a few stools down. He's been drowning himself since we got here about an hour and a half ago. I know he said he wanted to get drunk but why? Kota doesn't drink often. He really doesn't drink in public.

Corey catches my gaze cutting to Kota a few times. With a small smirk he takes a pull from his drink. "You okay?" Nodding I sip on the water in front of me. "You and Kota have gotten really close lately." I look over at him a bit confused. We've always been close. I mean yes we've spent more time together but we've always been close. "Is there something going on there?" My face flames at the thought.

I mean I've always found Kota beautiful and he's one of the sweetest people I know. He makes me feel safe. "I-I don't know what you mean." Corey looks over his glass at me and smiles slyly.

"Do you find him sexy? I mean the slightly mused hair is really something." I've never really understood what people mean when they say that. Like do I find him pleasing to the eye? My confusion must be evident because Corey's look softens. "How do you feel about him?" This is something I can actually answer. Before I do though I take a big drink. This is all a bit too much.

"I mean- Kota is great. He's nice and sweet. He cares so much for everyone and wants to protect everyone. No one could ask for a better person around them. Yeah it would be great to be with him but I've never thought about well… I've never thought about sleeping with him." Corey studies my face for a second before something seems to click in his head. Giving me a small smile he nods his head.

"Vic, personal question here. Have you ever thought about sleeping with someone?" Thinking back I shake my head no. I guess that is a bit weird isn't it. "And if you do?" I try to think about having sex with someone. I mean, I don't know. I don't really feel any particular way about it. When I state this Corey nods again. "Have you ever heard of asexual?"

"Like plants?"

He chuckles lightly. "No no. I mean like lacking sexual attraction."

Shaking my head I turn the words over in my head. Something fits but I'm not sure. "But I still want to date someone eventually. I guess I just don't really care about the sex thing. I know it's weird but I've just never seen anyone that way."

Corey places a hand on my shoulder. "It's not weird. It's just different. Like how someone who is homosexual is sexually attracted to the same gender or a bisexual is attracted to two or more. Sexual and romantic attraction are two different things. You can be romantically attracted to someone but not sexually. You could also be neither or the opposite." I feel a smile tug on my lips. That actually makes sense.

"Huh. So there's a word for this."

"Yeah. Yeah there is. But back to what we were discussing. Kota." My face flames again. Taking a pull from my water I turn to the dance floor. Looking out there I see the person in question grinding into Raven and Sean. Oh. The smile falls from my face as I see the pure ecstasy on his face. Why would he ever be happy with me? Corey turns to see where I'm looking and something flashes across his face. "Fucking hell."

Turning away from the dance floor I fiddle with my drink. "I don't think it really matters." Tears sting my eyes. It doesn't matter. Yes I like him and have for a while but he doesn't feel the same way. Him holding me a few nights ago crosses my mind but I quickly shoo it away. "I'm going to run to the bathroom real quick. Watch my drink."

Corey agrees and I slip down the hall. In the bathroom I splash cold water on my face. My phone dings and I pull it out to see a group text. Marc sent out a video of Raven, Kota, Sean, Gabriel and Luke dancing. He labeled it future blackmail. 

They really do look great together. Kota looks happy with Raven whispering in his ear. I wonder how Corey's going to take this. Actually I REALLY wonder how Mr. Blackbourne's going to. Him and Sean are still fairly new. To see Sean pressed against the back of Kota must be hard on him. Shaking my head to clear everything away I head back out to the club. I'll be fine.