Discovering the Cipher (Abandoned)

Darkness

I'm not back. I have this one chapter done but I don't know when the next will be up. I don't know much right now but I'm slowly getting better. Thank all of you for your continued patience. I love you guys. Loves!

TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE SCENE MENTIONED. MINIMAL DETAIL! Stop before *** and continue after them if needed. Please keep yourselves safe.

Victor-TW

I watch Mr. Blackbourne read to Sang with a sort of serenity I've been missing. After my conversation with Corey I've been doing a great deal of research on asexuality. Honestly, it's a fascinating topic even if it hadn't applied to me. A piece of my mind fits inside my head better with my information. I know this might make dating a bit more difficult but so does having a crush on one of my best friends.

After Sang's eyes drift close and stay that way Mr. Blackbourne puts down his book. Taking a long drink of water his eyes roam over me in curiosity. "You didn't go to Mr. Lee's tonight." Closing my eyes I nod slowly. I knew he was going to question this, doesn't mean I want to talk about it. Opening my eyes I watch his grey ones skim over my face more slowly this time. "I'm sure you sleep better there."

With a heavy swallow I divert my gaze. "I usually do but I'm not sure if I could now." With a knowing glint in his eye he nods. Quirking one brow in what our family has affectionately dubbed the 'Blackbourne Stare' Mr. B waits for me to elaborate. "It doesn't matter really. I'll be fine here." The warmth in his grey eyes slips just a bit and I let out a sigh. "I've unfortunately developed... feelings... for a member of our team and it might make said person uncomfortable if they were to find out."

A small laugh escapes Mr. B. His lips quirked up a tiny fraction. Meeting my confused face he softens his eyes slightly. "If these feelings are for Mr. Lee himself I'm not sure you should worry about that." Shock flows through my system at his words. Am I that obvious? My apprehension must be evident on my face because Mr. Blackbourne comes over to stand next to me. "When you're ready, talk to him about it. Don't let this stop you from healing or sleeping though."

His hand rests on my shoulder with a quick squeeze. My head drops forward momentarily before I shoot a curious look at Mr. Blackbourne. "Why aren't you home with Sean?" His face goes stone-like as the warmth from his hand recedes. Quickly walking back to his seat Mr. Blackbourne and grabs a pile of paperwork.

"I thought it best if I stayed away until my emotions were under control." Rolling my eyes I huff lightly.

"Mr. Blackbourne, I highly doubt Sean wants you to get your emotions under control. He loves you and that means even when you're upset. I assume this is about last night."

Removing his glasses Mr. B starts smoothing his tie methodically. Pinching the bridge of his nose he breathes slowly. With a large breath out he nods slowly. Looking away so that he doesn't feel any pressure to "control" himself I grab my laptop from beside my chair. I hate that he feels the need to keep everything from us but I understand it. With his father it makes sense. I still hate it.

After about fifteen minutes Mr. B puts his glasses back on and leans forward with his elbows on his knees. "Mr. Morgan you should really get some rest." Lifting my eyes from the screen in front of me I shrug casually. My mind is racing too quickly for sleep to take hold. My eyes flick back down to my screen looking at the chat box I have open.

Feeling a pair of eyes on my I log off and pack my computer away. I know that Mr. Blackbourne won't let up until I at least try and sleep. You'd think that he would take the same advice but no. Mr. Perfect here seems to survive on four hours of sleep a night. Unhealthy bastard. "You know you should probably follow the same directive. You couldn't have slept well last night." Lifting my gaze to meet his I watch as he quickly diverts his eyes.

Mr. Blackbourne only does this when he doesn't have the energy to hold eye contact. His father drilled it into his head that eye contact is necessary but it isn't. Not with family. It's taken years but I think we're finally getting that through. None of us care if he's "normal". What even is normal?

"I'll make you a deal." When I hesitate to nod his lips quirk up in a small challenge. Oh it's on. "I'll go home to Sean and you have to sleep, and I do mean sleep. No more work or chats or anything tonight." Deflating my shoulders slightly I weigh the pros and cons. Honestly it's not a bad trade, except for the horrors that lie behind my eyelids. When the darkness takes over and unconsciousness grips me I'm right back in that room.

Flexing my fingers a few times I run through basic scales on my thigh to help focus. With a deep breath I nod to Mr. Blackbourne. "Deal." My chest tightens slightly at the thought of sleeping but I have the meds in my bag to help. Looking back to Sang's sleeping frame I calm slightly. I can do this. If she can wake up then I can do this.

Mr. B waits for a few minutes to watch me take the sleep pill before he leaves to go deal with the drama I'm sure will ensue. I hope that he listens to Sean though. I have no doubt in my mind that Sean never meant to cause him pain. I also know that the dancing wasn't how it appeared. He was just a bit too tipsy. Doesn't mean he should have done it though.

My mind starts to fog about thirty minutes after taking the medicine and I allow myself to fall the rest of the way into the murky feeling. My fingers and toes tingling with the effects of the drug in my system. Darkness wraps around me and holds me hostage as visions of that day fill my head.

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He stands before me. The door is locked and my comms system is down. No one can reach me and I can't escape. Hands tied behind my back and my face stinging from the force of the hit I watch the predator stalk towards me. My blood freezes and all logical thought leaves my head. I've never felt terror to this degree before. Even if I wasn't tied I'm not sure I would be able to move.

Everything starts to move faster as belts are undone and I'm forced face first into the ground. A single tear falls down my face but I make no sound and I still can't move. Pain races through me as I bite my tongue. I won't give him the satisfaction of hearing me scream. A pain I've never before felt takes hold of me as a small whimper makes it's way past my lips. His laughter fills the air around me.

"Scream for me. Scream like the little whore you are. I didn't think that all of your friends haven't claimed you. Such a pretty one aren't you? Not anymore though. No one will want you anymore will they?" Tears flow down my face at a rapid rate. Just as he finishes the door bursts open. Finally.

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A calm hand runs down my back as murmurings bring me out of the darkness. Light fills the room and a spicy scent fills my nose. The hand on my back keeps moving in a soothing motion as a soft voice wisps through my ears. "It's okay. I'm here. He can't get you again. I'm here, Darling. Wake up for me." Cracking my eyes open I watch as green eyes behind a pair of black rimmed glasses take in my face.

Sitting up I feel the tears on my face and quickly wipe them away. My hands shake violently as air gets stuck in my throat. "It's okay Victor. It's okay." Leaning forward I allow my head to fall into the crook of Kota's shoulder. His arms wrap around me as tears keep flowing. It's okay now that you're here.