Discovering the Cipher (Abandoned)

Breathe

Hey babes! Okay so I'm still doing finals and such but I had a bit of time so I cranked this out. Side not: I might finally have sleep meds that work! I got to sleep last night!! Enjoy. Loves!!

Victor

I startle awake for the second time tonight. Kota is up instantly wrapping his arms around me. The nightmares have gotten so bad that I can't sleep unless I'm with Sang or Kota. Sang is just a comforting presence. Since she isn't awake I don't have to deal with the pitying looks from her.

"Shh. It's okay. He's not here anymore Vic. It's just you and I. Breathe with me. In. Out. In. Out." Kota grabs my hand and presses it to his chest so that I can feel each breath. Keeping pace with him is getting easier the longer we do this. Blinking away the last of the tears from my eyes I finally slow my breathing. The last of the dream slipping away.

My head collapses forward as my neck can no longer hold it up anymore. His long fingers brush through my hair in a repetitive motion. The murmured counting is the only indication that Kota is worried. My fingers clench before me digging into his chest. I can still feel him. "I know Dar-. I know Victor." What? Did he just-? My thought gets lost as Kota scrapes my head lightly.

I fall back asleep after a few more minutes of murmurings and the soft soothing motions of a hand through my hair. Dark, dreamless sleep blanketed me and for the first time in a while I slept for longer than two hours. When I did wake Kota was already downstairs taking care of Academy problems. I'm not sure he ever sleeps in.

Normally I crash on the hide-away bed in his room but after my first nightmare last night I somehow ended up in his bed with him. I thought it would be awkward but it wasn't. I quietly make my way downstairs to find Erica in the kitchen. She places two plates on the table just as I enter. "Breakfast is ready Hun." I shoot a small smile her way. I have no clue how Erica times everything so perfectly but I love it.

I take a bite of the eggs after she sits and starts eating as well. Erica is more of a mom to all of us than our own mothers. She cares for us and loves us as if we were her own. Once both of us are done I do the dishes. If Erica cooks I clean. I'm not about to seem ungrateful, I'm not my parents. Off in my own head I don't hear her enter behind me.

"Victor sweetie, are you getting any sleep?" I suck in a large breath before turning around. I don't do well with being snuck up on anymore. That took a bit for Luke to understand. I hate it because I can't connect with my brother on the same level anymore. Sure his pranks were annoying but they were him. I miss his pranks, which is something I thought I'd never think.

Twisting my shaking fingers together I give a small nod. Her eyes fill with understanding as she wraps me in a hug. "You'll get there eventually. I know you will." My arms wrap around her as well. Soaking up all of the motherly comfort that Erica has to offer I fight back the tears. I'm tired of crying. "It's okay my sweet boy. I promise it is. We are all here for you."

With a final shuddering breath she releases me. "Thank you. I don't know if I would- Thank you. You and Kota are helping me so much." Erica kisses me on the cheek with a small smile and goes to get ready for work. I head upstairs to get ready for the day. Nothing extremely pressing so I might just take my computer to the hospital. I can sit with Sang and visit with whoever else is spending time with her today.

After her hand moved we've all been there more than normal. I was already there quite a bit but now I'm not there alone. Tapping my fingers to the song playing through my speakers I think back to that day. I'm not sure if she could hear me but I think she did. It's comforting thinking that. Maybe when she wakes up my princess will already be caught up on everything going on.

I nod to the nurses on duty and make my way up to Sang's room. Sean is out in the hall with Mr. Blackbourne. Before either of them see me I step down a side hall. I'm so tired of the conversations stopping as soon as anyone sees me. I'm not stupid. I'm not going to shatter just because someone has bad news. I'm not right?

Mr. Blackbourne wraps Sean in a hug and rocks him back and forth murmuring something into his ear. Turning away I give them a moment and look around. Mrs. Rose, an Academy elder is just leaving one of the rooms when she sees me. With a big smile my way she presses a finger to her lips and winks. I have a feeling she wasn't supposed to leave.

A small grin flashes across my face as I turn back to Sang's room. Mr. Blackbourne and Sean are gone so I go right in. If my bag hadn't been over my shoulder it would have fallen to the ground. I'm met with a heartstopping sight. Tears fill my eyes as I rush to her bed. My voice chokes a bit. "Sang?" My head whips back and forth searching. A hand drops to my shoulder and I give a small jump.

Sean is behind me with Corey and Mr. Blackbourne. Wrapping his arm around me Sean pulls me closer. "It's okay Victor. I promise it's okay." The air catches in my chest and I try to keep fighting through the panic now racing. My skin feels on fire and my head is spinning. Sean grabs my arms and looks me in the eyes. "You have to breathe Vic. Breathe with me."