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"The last time I went on one, my and my friend Jill were going to see the Rolling Stones. You could see everything beneath you. I guess that's how the Gods feel when they look down on us." I continued divulging information. Ivar had, surprisingly, taken my news rather well. And had decided that he wanted to know everything about my time and where I came from. It was an indescribable feeling, talking to him about my life before. And I hadn't realised until then just how much I'd needed it.
Ivar had become convinced that I was a sign from the Gods that he was meant to rule Kattegat. And, I simply agreed. I had no idea why I was here, whether it served some purpose or was some cosmic mistake, but Ivar believed it and that was good enough for me.
Soon we would sail back to Kattegat and Ivar would have his war against Lagertha, and likely Ubbe as well. And when he won, we would marry. God, Jill would be rolling on the floor if she ever knew. Iris, the wife of Ivar The Boneless. Who would've thought? Though, part of me couldn't help but feel like one of those girls that chased after rockstars and celebrities back in my time. After all, who was more famous than Ivar?
"What is a rolling stone?" He stared at me in utter confusion, and I watched as he tried to figure out the curious combination of words. I couldn't help but laugh, realising how odd the band sounded without any cultural context.
"They're a band." I answered, but his confusion was yet to disperse. "They make music. People travel from around the world to listen to them."
Ivar nodded in understanding, though I doubted the music that he knew was anything like the Stones. As he thought for a moment, I watched a small flash of grief shoot over him, a pang of guilt the likes of which I'd never before seen in him. "My brother used to be a musician."
"Who?" I questioned, not believing that either of them would ever sit and make music. "Hvitserk?"
Ivar only scoffed at the thought of his older brother being a musician. Hvitserk was always far too distracted by women and food to care about music. "No." He answered, and I could tell his memories weren't exactly joyous ones. "Sigurd. The one I killed."
I wasn't exactly sure how to respond - or how the conversation had turned from the Rolling Stones to murder so quickly, but I knew that I ought to comfort him in some way. Simply, I placed my hand on his and listened. As much as it had comforted me to talk to him - someone I felt I could trust with my life, I hoped it was some small comfort that I was also there for him.
I had no idea the enormity of his burdens, nor did I quite comprehend just how much he had yearned to simply be understood, to have someone that he could trust and rely upon. Even someone so great, so seemingly unstoppable, was human. And in the end, none of us truly wish to be alone as he had been his whole life.
We talked for hours. I learned about Sigurd, Aslaug, Floki, Helga, Ragnar, and everyone else from Ivar's past. And I told him about my parents and Jill, and the world that I'd lived in before - of how no one carried swords, and countries had become unified, and that most people lived in peace and harmony, even if some wars still took place. I'd never truly realised how odd my time was, how strange it all seemed now. Our politics, our culture, everything.
"I can't believe you believe me." I sighed finally, looking over at him with a warm smile. It was so odd, knowing that he could be so cruel when all I ever saw was kindness. Perhaps that's what I loved so much about him, knowing that I was the only one that could melt his icy exterior. "I've been wanting to tell you for so long..."
"I didn't believe you." He answered with a huff, taking in my every feature as though each fleeting moment was our last. If he were ever to die, he wished to memorize my whole being so that no matter what, I would be the last thing he saw. And as I looked back at him, I felt exactly the same. Its hard to explain, truly. But my mother once told me a story, one that made so much sense in this moment. The Ancient Greeks said that all humans were once born with four legs and arms and two faces... Just as double people. But the Gods feared their power, and so split them in half - cursed forever to wander the earth in search of their other half. Their soulmate. And that evening, I knew that I'd met mine. I was the light, he was the darkness. No single one can exist without the other. "But when you spoke about your life, it didn't seem like you were lying. And I-" Ivar paused and I hung on, waiting for even the tiniest whisper. His blue eyes filled with fear, wit vulnerability that I rarely saw in him. "I trust you." He choked out, as though the words were alien to him.
And I believed they were.
I knew how much those words meant, how hard it was for him to give away his trust. And I couldn't help feeling overwhelmed with joy at the thought that I had earned such a prize. I gulped, smiling brightly. It all seemed too good to be true - as if something had to go wrong. And yet, nothing had. Perhaps this was all my destiny after all. Perhaps both of us could finally find peace.
"I promise, Ivar," I began, never breaking eye contact. "I will never betray that trust. And I will never abandon you. I'm yours, until the day I die."
But of course, neither of us were truly the masters of our fate - and I should've known that such a promise was not in my hands to make. The Gods always had other plans.
