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It was dark, night overtaking day in its daily battle for dominance. I'd gone to sleep long before everyone else that evening, the events of the previous day making me somewhat exhausted. As I'd begun falling asleep, all I could think of was Ivar. Not my parents, Jill, my family back home. None of it even crossed my mind. I'd not even contemplated the fact that I may now never see any of them again, that there was now no possible way for me to leave. Instead I was far too wrapped up in the joy of the moment, to overcome with happiness to consider the implications of my decisions.
Ivar crawled over to my bed, watching the soft smile that plucked up the corners of my lips. He couldn't help but smile as well, gently pulling one of the warm furs up around my shoulders.
It had not been long since I'd agreed to reside close by him. And, by now, he'd already seen me sleep many times before. But every other evening was filled with a longing, a yearning to be there with me and to be able to remain beside me every night - not just until the dawn skies began to glow and I began to stir. But tonight, for the first time since he'd known me, Ivar knew that he would never have to leave me again.
In my sleep, I stirred, moving closer to the warmth beside me. At first, Ivar involuntarily bristled at my action, but he slowly softened as I gently hugged him closer. It was a moment of utter tenderness, utter peace.
The whole room was silent, still, the world already deep asleep, and Ivar knew that he'd finally found light in this dark world.
But, just as that perfect moment came, it was over. Just like everything in life, the good were always poisoned by the awful things that this cruel world inflicted upon them. And, as I stirred with furrowed brows - the memory of painful events clouding my previously peaceful state as it always seemed to do - I jolted awake.
Ivar, of course, was no stranger to the terrors of night that seemed to haunt the shadows of everyone's mind. He'd often lost sleep through jolted nightmares and memories of his life. But seeing the fear in my eyes that evening, seemed to make him feel rather unfamiliar emotions. Ones that I wasnt sure he was fully prepared to experience.
My breathing was rapid, and I could feel my heart pounding my chest as I jolted awake and away from Ivar's gentle touch. He looked over at me, a mix of shock and pain evident in his eyes as I startled him slightly. I suppose I'd startled myself too.
"Iris?" He spoke smoothly, voice hypnotic as he slowly brought me back to reality. As I began to calm down, the adrenaline slowly draining from my system, I could feel tears begin to well in my eyes, a sense of pain filling my body. I could tell that he wasn't sure what to do or how to react, simply sitting there with a look of agony as he wished he could do something to sooth my pain.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, trying to wipe away the never ending ocean of tears that poured down my cheeks. "I- I have nightmares sometimes. About- about what happened. "
I watched as realisation spread over him, realisation of the event to which I was referring. And as soon as it came, anger followed it. Anger at the Saxons, anger at the man that had hurt me, and anger at himself for not being there to protect me. It was then, in the midst of my sorrow, that I found myself reaching out to gently touch his hand - silently reassuring him. I watched as Ivar's bright blue eyes looked up to meet me, the rage slowly fading behind that familiar look of concern as he took a hold of my hand.
"I will not let them live for what they did to you." He seethed, and I couldn't help but smile - knowing that this was the only way he knew how to comfort me.
"Ivar," I sighed gently, slowly moving closer again to cup his cheek in my hand. I smiled as he leaned into my touch, momentarily closing his eyes before he regained himself again. "I cannot blame all Saxons for the actions of one and neither can you. The man who hurt me is dead. I killed him. He can never hurt anyone again."
But Ivar gave a small huff of annoyance, holding onto the hand that was on his cheeks so that both my hands were now in his. I looked back at him, earth meeting ocean in the distant flicker of candlelight. "I would've torn the lungs from his body." He answered lowly, wearing an expression that sent shivers through my bones.
I was utterly entranced by his flaming stare, the way his sharp features looked so stern in the dark, the small cuts and injuries that covered him. Everything about him was hypnotic, in a way that I could not explain. But I knew in that moment that I had never felt this way about anyone before in my life. No one had ever given me the feelings that Ivar had given me.
There was love, and then there was this. And this felt as if my very soul had been captured by his. I felt as if I was falling, as if there was no way of escape - nor did I ever wish to escape. No matter the outcome of this situation, I would walk through the fires of hell for him in that moment. And I believed, with all my heart, that he would do the same for me.
"Ivar," I barely whispered, my voice one with the soft wind outside. I leaned in, capturing his lips in mine within one short but loving kiss. "So long as I have you, I do not need anything else in the world."
He looked back at me with a doe eyed expression, his usually angry features now softened into the gentlest hints of a tender smile. When he rested his head against mine, gently running his hand through a strand of my firey hair, I almost thought that my heart had stopped. I had never thought it possible to be so utterly in love. And yet, somehow, it had happened.
I'd always been a rational person, a calm and stable person. I'd never had all that many relationships in the past. In truth, I'd never really thought myself capable of love. My head was in the clouds and on other things. I never had time for love, nor did I ever really want it. And yet, somehow, almost as soon as I had met him, I knew that my life belonged to Ivar.
"I am yours," He answered, kissing me once more. "And you're mine."
