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"I want to fight against the Saxons with you." I decided, my words firm and unwavering. For a moment, I looked at him trying to figure out what he was going to say. And then came my answer.
"You're not going anywhere near the Saxons." Ivar declared, dismissing me without another thought or word.
My heart dropped through my chest, a feeling of rage overcame me - one that I could not wholly fathom. Why I felt such burning anger, I didn't quite know. But it was there, and I could feel it compelling my every thought and deed. "What? Why? Do you still not trust me? Hm? Have I not proven myself yet?" Again I paused, taking a breath before I said something that would inspire Ivar's own infamous rage and have him kill me. "I- I thought that you would understand... After everything..."
Ivar watched me, gulping back the lump that formed in his throat as he watched the grief and agony fill my eyes oncemore. This was weakness, he knew that. And though I didn't know it at the time, I was the weakness of the great Ivar The Boneless.
"You don't know how to fight. You'll only slow us down." He answered, stiffening in his chair as he tried to pin down my reaction. It wasn't one that he enjoyed witnessing, my brows furrowed and eyes tearful. "You could get yourself killed."
"And then I die!" I exasperated, breathing a deep breath as I spoke again. "I do not mind."
"I mind!" Ivar's yell silenced me oncemore, my heart stopping as I watched him question his every thought. "I will not let you die for nothing. You will remain with the sick and the healers."
"But my place is with you." I protested, walking closer as I considered what he might do with my foolish words. "With you, Ivar. Not with them while you fight."
"You will do what I tell you to do." He responded sharply, his every feature softening as soon as he spoke. His cold eyes turned warm, a gentleness apparent in his face that I was certain few others ever saw. "I cannot lose you, Iris."
As I watched the expression that he wore, my heart momentarily stopped. My eyes were wide, lips parted as I took in a deep breath. "W-why? I am nobody, from nowhere."
For the briefest second, I watched the flash of an expression that I couldn't place cross his face. My heart was pounding in my chest, palpitating like little butterfly's were trapped behind my ribs. I could feel my stomach doing somersaults as I watched his every micro expression fervently. I wasn't sure how I'd become so drawn in by him, this terrifying Viking warlord. People from his own time feared him, never mind someone with the morality and values of a millennium in the future. But what I felt, every time I looked deep into his intoxicating blue eyes, was like nothing I'd ever felt before in my life. I felt drawn in, like a ship trapped in a stormy ocean, and found myself drowning.
"You're not." He responded, his voice slightly harsher now. But still I found myself entrapped by him, lost on his every word. I knew I was putting myself in a dangerous position, of course I did. Feeling such things for someone like Ivar would never end well. And yet, I couldn't help it. I suppose this was what my mother had meant when she had told me that love was the most dangerous drug of all. "Just do what I ask, Iris." He sighed, peering up from the floor to look at me once more. "Please."
Without another thought, I found my head nodding along. It was as though I was dancing to any tune that he might play, simply following whatever rythm he set in place. I supposed that Ivar enjoyed being the conductor, making the world dance to his tune. But for once, it didn't seem like he was trying. For once, it seemed as though I had simply fallen under his spell. And perhaps, he had fallen under mine too.
"Stay safe," I spoke with such a gentle voice that it was barely even present. But Ivar heard it, that much I could tell. From the look in his wide glassy eyes, his lips slightly parted as he heard me speak with such care, I could tell that few in this world had ever actually been concerned enough to say such words to him before. "I know that there's honour in dying in battle... And I know that you're more than capable of killing those Saxons but..." I paused momentarily, gulping in the hopes that my mouth would cease to feel so dry, and that I would finally find the words for which I searched. "But I cannot lose you either."
In silence, the both of us sat staring at one another for a moment. Dark earthy eyes met the ocean, both with equal suprise at the other's words. And there I felt a sensation that I had only ever read about in poems and sonnets and dusty old hardback books. Yearning. Magnetic yearning as I felt myself pulled ever closer to this deadly intoxication.
