The Path Back to You | Levi x OC

Chapter 2 - Homecoming

Anastasya

Upon seeing the enormous, looming façade of Wall Rose again, something had stirred within Anastasya. She felt a strange mixture of joy, relief, fear, and dread, carried on a tide of nostalgia. She had grown up within the three walls; they were all she'd ever known. That was, until she had been forced to survive alone out in Titan country for months and months. She shuddered as she dismounted and led her horse through the gate and into the cobbled streets of Trost District.
"Are you okay?" Levi asked, walking close beside her.
"Yeah," she lied.
In truth, she felt weak and dizzy, and every bone and muscle in her body seemed to throb with pain. She forced herself to focus on putting one foot in front of the other and keeping her head down. The city was packed full of people crowding together to watch the Scout Regiment return home, and she was wilting under the scrutiny, just as she had when they'd passed through Kalaneth District a few hours earlier. She pulled her hood up again and listened intently to the murmurs of the citizens.
Some of them were excited and optimistic, and she watched as relief washed over their faces when they saw that their loved ones had made it back alive. Others looked anxious. Before she had joined them again, she had witnessed Levi ordering the men to dump the bodies that they had been able to recover so as to have a better chance of escaping the Titans, and now because of the lack of corpses, people were confused as to where those they cared about might be. She heard the usual grumblings of the nay-sayers, the ones who claimed that their taxes were being used to do nothing more than feed the Titans thanks to the regiment's apparently fruitless missions, and she listened as others wondered why they had returned so soon after leaving.
"They only left this morning," one woman said to her friend.
"Yes, and I could have sworn there were far more of them," the friend remarked.
Beside her, Levi tensed. She knew that he had just lost his entire squad, and she knew exactly how he felt. They had been her friends, too, and before she'd had the chance to be reunited with them, they had been viciously slaughtered. The image of Petra's broken, bloodied body smashed against the trunk of a tree flashed through her mind, and she quickly squeezed her eyes shut. Her own squad, the one that had accompanied her on that doomed Expedition, was nowhere to be seen, and she found herself fearing the worst. As they continued on through the streets, a bashful, middle-aged man approached Levi, who gripped his horse's reins tighter and carried on walking, avoiding eye contact. However, the man was not deterred, and he followed alongside them, smiling.
"Captain Levi! I'm so glad you're back! Is Petra around? I wanted to talk to you about something. See, she sent me this letter," he said, waving an envelope by his face. "She's completely star-struck, being in your squad. I wanted to thank you for giving her the chance to join. Now, considering how young she is and how much she still has to experience, it's-"
Levi looked as though he wanted to be sick.
"I'm sorry, Sir," said Anya, as patiently and politely as possible, despite the gore she was covered in and the sorrow that pierced her heart. "Captain Levi is extremely tired after the Expedition, but he will be able to speak with you later about any concerns you might have."
"Oh... Oh yes, of course! I'm sorry!" the man stammered. He fell back into the crowd, and Levi shot her a sullen glance.
"Thank you," he said.
She frowned. She had expected him to tell her that her help was unnecessary, but he merely stared at the ground, face drawn and wracked with grief and guilt. She wanted, so desperately, to reassure him. To let him know that what happened to his squad, and what had happened to her, wasn't his fault. However, she could feel the wild storm of emotions raging behind the wall she'd so carefully and painstakingly built, and she knew that she had to continue to hold everything in. If she were to start talking now, she would crumble in front of everyone.
The majority of the regiment stopped in Trost, where their official headquarters were based. However, she, Levi, Erwin, Hange, and a few others carried on all the way through the inner gate, before mounting their horses again and riding to a castle in the countryside, much to her surprise. It was one of the Scouts' old headquarters, but she couldn't muster the energy to ask what they were doing there. Instead, she stayed by Levi's side like a silent shadow, no-one else daring to go near her. When they reached the stables, they both dismounted and left their horses in the care of a young male recruit whom she failed to recognise, before going over to where Erwin was waiting for them in the courtyard.
"Clean yourselves up, and then we'll debrief," he said brusquely.
She could tell that he was struggling with her return. Levi was, too, as was she, and she anticipated the conversations the three of them were going to have. However, for the moment, she simply couldn't bring herself to speak, such was her exhaustion. Levi nodded, and they entered the old castle together. She was instantly bombarded with memories, but she pushed them down and limped after Levi as he lead her to his quarters.
"I'll let you go first," he said, gesturing to the bathroom.
"Clean clothes?"
"I'll go and find something. Do you need medical attention?"
"No."
They regarded one another, just for a moment, but the pain and uncertainty in Levi's gaze was all it took to start freeing her emotions and have her retreating into the bathroom and closing and locking the door behind her with a loud click. She slumped to the floor and buried her face in her hands, doing her best to stifle the sobs racking her body as everything finally began to sink in.

***

Levi

Levi's heart cracked as he listened to Anya crying on the other side of the door. He had half a mind to break the damn thing down and drag her out so that he could hold her close and tell her that she was going to be okay, but he forced himself to leave and find her some clothes.
"Hange," he said, grabbing her arm as she made to pass him in the corridor.
"Mm? Where's Anya?"
"Bathing. Do you have some clothes she could borrow?"
"Of course!"
"Nothing weird," he warned her.
"I have a fantastic sense of fashion!"
"Right."
"Wait here."
She disappeared for a few minutes, before coming back with a pile of clothes.
"I have boots too but I don't remember her size, and the leggings are going to be too long," she said, handing everything over.
"It will do for now. Thanks."
She stopped him as he turned to go back to his room.
"How's she doing?"
"I don't know," he confessed quietly. "Not good."
She pursed her lips and then directed her gaze to something behind Levi. Erwin was waiting at the end of the corridor.
"Levi. A word," he said.
He nodded to Hange and then followed Erwin into a small meeting room.
"How is she?"
He hated the concern he saw in his friend's eyes. If he hadn't dragged him out of the ravine, if he had just allowed him to carry on looking, maybe he would have found Anya that day. No, he couldn't think like that, and yet...
"She's bathing," he said curtly.
"That's not what I asked."
"How do you think? She's been out there on her own for months, isolated in Titan country. What she had to do to survive... I imagine it's changed her."
Erwin nodded glumly, directing his gaze at the floor.
"Meet me in here in an hour."
He raised his eyebrows. He hadn't expected Erwin to give them so much time to talk together first.
"See you in an hour, then."
He returned to his room and knocked on the bathroom door. Anya opened it, and he almost dropped the pile of clothes as she strode out naked. She turned to look at him, confused.
"Oh... Sorry," she said. "I didn't really bother with clothes this past year, considering I only had one set."
He was shocked. Not because she was naked – certainly nothing he hadn't seen before – but because of what had become of her beautiful body. Whereas before it had been toned and curvaceous, it was now jagged and scarred, and he could see numerous ribs protruding from under her mottled, bruised skin. He'd known that she was far thinner now; he'd felt it through her clothing when he'd embraced her, but he hadn't quite anticipated what he now saw.
"Anya..." he said, his voice thick with emotion. 
He had failed her.
"Not quite like I was before, right?" she asked.
She frowned down at a large, black bruise covering the right side of her ribs, pressing it gingerly. She had a long, fresh-looking gash down her right thigh, and he immediately set the clothes down and went to fetch the small medical kit he kept in one of his desk drawers.
"Sit down," he told her.
She looked as though she was going to protest, but upon her seeing what he knew to be sheer desperation on his face, she slowly lowered herself to the bed. He cleaned the wound carefully, almost too afraid to touch her in case she should shatter, before wrapping her thigh in a bandage.
"Thanks," she said.
"Do you... Do you need anything else?" he asked, anxious to do something, anything, to help her.
"No."
"I... I'm going to wash, then."
"All right."
He went to the bathroom and leant back against the door, closing his eyes.
His fault.