Chapter 28 - Morning Conflict

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Levi

Levi walked into Anya's room the next morning only to come to a sharp, screeching stop when he spotted the hulking great frame of Erwin lying where she should have been. For a moment, he simply gawped at his friend as he stirred and shifted into a sitting position, bleary-eyed and seemingly unaware of his presence.
"Oh. Morning, Levi. I thought I heard someone come in."
"What- I could've sworn this was Anya's room."
"It is."
He stormed forward a few steps after having finally recovered the ability to move again.
"Then where is she? And why the hell are you in her damn bed?" he demanded, glaring down at him.
Erwin stifled a frustratingly unconcerned yawn, and he had to resist the urge to shake him.
"I had a nightmare last night," he explained. "Anastasya heard; she couldn't sleep, apparently. She found me thrashing around on the floor and so she helped me up and we talked for a while. When she finally drifted off, I didn't want to wake her and I couldn't carry her back to her room, so I left her in mine, and I slept in here instead. Are you all right?"
He felt his glare soften to a perturbed frown and he went to sit in the nearby chair. He knew that Erwin would be working through the shock of losing his arm and that Anya was still very much processing her own trauma. Both were having nightmares, and both were going to be unstable for some time, and the fact that he wasn't quite sure how to help either of them frustrated him to no end.
"I'm fine. I just didn't expect to see your stupid face first thing in the morning instead of Anya," he replied dryly. "Seems like the two of you made up, then. What was the nightmare about?"
The briefest flicker of guilt crossed Erwin's face, and Levi narrowed his eyes as Erwin cast his gaze to his lap.
"I dreamt that Anastasya and I were swimming in the ocean and then she got snatched up and devoured by a Titan, right in front of me. One moment, I had my arm. The next... it was gone, and all I could do was stand there and watch. I was barely able to stop myself from drowning."
"Erwin... Shit..."
Conflict swirled within Levi, and he loathed how it twisted his gut. On the one hand, he felt awful for Erwin, and he wanted to help him with what he was going through, but on the other, he couldn't ignore the poison of jealousy suddenly flowing through him.
"I assume that you enjoyed the first part of the dream, at least?" he asked.
Erwin noticed the iciness in his tone immediately, and he whipped his head up to look at him.
"Levi, I can't help what I dream."
"Evidently."
A crease appeared between Erwin's thick eyebrows.
"You know that there's nothing to be jealous about."
He did know and he subsequently trusted them both fully with his life and with his heart, and yet despite how irrational it was, it didn't stop him from experiencing the pervasive sensation. He'd always accepted, without question, how close Anya and Erwin were. After having grown up together and after having gone through all the shit that they'd gone through, it went without saying that a bond existed between them. However he was only human and, every so often, it riled him.
"Levi?"
He sighed and lifted a hand to his forehead.
"I know. Sorry," he said, lowering his arm. "I'm glad she was there for you. What did she say, when she found you?"
"She asked what you asked, and so I told her."
"And?"
"She reassured me that what I dreamt was normal. That I have a lot of trauma to work through, as does she," he said, before looking at him again with his piercing, ice-blue eyes. "Levi, she's not okay."
"I know," he said quietly. "She has nightmares, she's jumpy as hell, she gets headaches almost every day, and sometimes it's like she's not really there with you. Like she's stuck in her own mind."
"Do you think she needs some time off? Maybe we pushed her too hard, too fast."
"You know that will only make it worse. What she needs is to work through everything while surrounded by the people who care about her, and she needs to face Titans as part of a team again so that she understands that she doesn't have to fight on her own anymore. That she can rely on other people."
Erwin dipped his head, a faint smile playing across his face.
"It's good that you and she will co-captain the new squad. You're right; she needs to be around people whom she knows she can trust, and given the amount of secrets that the recruits from the 104th have brought with them, it'll be far better for her if she's with you. Depending on what happens over the next few weeks and how she handles everything, I'll ask her to begin thinking about who she wants in her next, independent squad."
"Don't forget that she's only recently found out what happened to her previous one. Hey, you're not going to start trying to convince her to become a Section Commander again, are you?" he asked wearily, remembering their previous arguments about it.
"No. Considering the number of times that she's been offered the position only to refuse it over the years, I highly doubt she's ever going to agree, especially not now."
Anya was certainly intelligent, strategically-minded, and charismatic enough to be a Section Commander, and even had the capacity to become the next Commander should anything happen to Erwin, but Levi knew that she much preferred being out in the field and having a close bond with a smaller group that she had greater, independent control over, rather than being in charge of large teams. They both looked up as the door opened and Anya herself stumbled in, almost as though she'd known they were talking about her. Her pale hair was a wild, tousled mess, and bizarrely, she seemed to have wrapped Erwin's cloak around her torso.
"Hey," Levi said, getting up to help her. "You should be resting."
"I was in the wrong bed. You're in the wrong bed," she said, looking past him to Erwin. "...Aren't you?"
Erwin nodded, trying to hide his smile, while Levi guided her to the chair.
"Yes. You fell asleep in my room last night, so I let you stay there while I came here."
"Oh..."
"Anastasya, may I ask why you're wearing my cloak?"
"The bandages were making me itchy, so I took them off, but then I couldn't find any of my clothes and I realised that I wasn't in my room, so I grabbed this to cover myself with. The guards outside looked a bit puzzled, though."
He knew that he was gawping at her, and when neither he nor Erwin spoke, she gave them both a hesitant smile.
"What?"
"Nothing," he said, sighing and shaking his head. "How do you feel today?"
"Not so bad," she replied. "I actually want to thank you. You've both been here for me and made me feel so much better. About everything. Hange has too, for that matter."
He prayed that she was telling the truth and not merely trying to reassure them for their own sakes. He caught Erwin's eye just before his friend directed the full intensity of his gaze at Anya, and he could tell he was thinking the same thing.
"We were just discussing the new Special Operations Squad."
"Ah," she said. "Do you definitely...think I'm ready?"
Levi frowned. When he'd told her about the squad before, she hadn't seemed to mind the idea, but now she appeared to be full of uncertainty. It showed just how badly her confidence had been knocked. In the old days, she would have already been bickering with him as to who got to be in charge.
"Hey, when we've co-captained before, we've always made a good team. This time won't be any different," he said.
"Exactly," Erwin chimed in. "Besides, who else is going to stop Levi from scaring the recruits off and translating what he says into something halfway pleasant?"
The hint of a smirk danced across her lips, and it gave him fresh hope.
"You have a point," she said. "All right, Squad Anya-Levi is go."
"Tch. Why does your name have to be first?"
"Levi-Anya doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Maybe we can combine our names... Squad...Anvi? Ackerova? What the hell did we call our team before?"
"Anvi sounds best," Erwin commented, rubbing his hand over his stubble, his brow furrowed as he appeared to take the conundrum into serious consideration. "We always used just one of your names in the past."
"Mm but then people got confused each time we formed separate squads," said Anya. "Squad Anvi it is."
Levi rolled his eyes, though he was hiding a smile as Anya seemed to have forgotten, just for a moment, about the deeper problems tormenting her.
"Spare me. Anyway, the recruits will be thrilled to hear it. They've been asking about you," he said, picturing the over-excited brats from when he'd last gone to speak to them.
Anya raised her eyebrows.
"Oh?"
"They said you were amazing out there and that they'd never seen someone work the ODM gear like you before."
"Well, they're not exactly seasoned soldiers," she replied.
Despite her lacklustre response, he could tell that she was pleased. He hoped that by being placed in charge of the young recruits, she'd start to build her confidence and enthusiasm up again. It was partially why he'd suggested it in the first place. Beside them, Erwin shifted and clumsily got up out of the bed.
"I have to go and get ready. Dot Pyxis is visiting later."
"You need any help?" he asked.
Erwin glanced between him and Anya.
"No, it's fine. You should both be there, though, to hear what he has to say. He'll arrive at my room around midday."
"See you in a bit, then," said Anya. "Sure you don't need anything?"
"I'm sure. Thank you."
As Erwin left, Anya's face became a perfect mirror of Levi's concern.
"He'll be okay."
"I hope so. I take it he told you about the nightmare?"
"Yeah."
"You didn't get jealous, did you?" she asked with a knowing look.
She always read him like a book and she'd caught him off guard, but his tsk seemed to be all the answer she needed.
"Stupid," she chided, before grimacing down at herself.
"What is it?"
"I've heard that Commander Pyxis is rather fond of pretty young women and so he probably wouldn't complain, but I'd rather not greet him with just a cloak covering my top half."
"I'd rather you didn't, either," he said, huffing a laugh. "I'll go and find you something more appropriate."
However, instead of making for the door, he stepped closer to her chair and cupped her face in one of his hands, allowing himself a moment to simply enjoy the fact that she was alive. That she was with him. That she was going to co-captain with him, just like old times. She smiled, bemusement in her jewel-like eyes.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
He answered her by leaning down and pressing his lips to hers, before gently ruffling her hair and leaving.

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