The Path Back to You | Levi x OC

Chapter 5 - Relief

Erwin

Back in Anastasya's room, Erwin squeezed his eyes shut for a moment.
"I thought you were dead," he told her. "We went down into the ravine after you, but all we found was blood. Levi destroyed his hands searching for you, and mine weren't much better."
He held his hands out and studied them a moment, remembering how raw and damaged they'd been.
"While we were down there, another Titan fell on top of the one that had gone after you. It caused more of the rocks to fall in. Everyone above was fighting, fending off a horde of Titans so that we had longer to look for you. I had to make a choice. I... I had to choose them, given the evidence."
To his surprise, she smiled and took one of his hands.
"You did the right thing."
"Did I? Perhaps if I had listened to Levi, we would have found you eventually. We could have brought you home, Anastasya."
"No," she said softly. "Believe me, you wouldn't have found me, and you would have lost soldiers for nothing."
She told him about the cave she had woken up in with no recollection of how she'd got there, and ever so slightly, his guilt eased. However, her revelation signalled that there were yet more mysteries for them to unravel.
"I'm sorry I can't tell you more," she said. "I... To be honest, there came a point where I stopped thinking. I had to... to live in my memories, because the present was just... It was too awful."
He squeezed her hand.
"It's all right."
"Can we have dinner later this week, all four of us? We can talk about things more then. It's just tonight, I... I feel so tired."
"Of course. It's important that you rest. Tomorrow I can fill you in on everything that's happened while you've been gone, too."
She nodded, and he got to his feet and headed for the door.
"I'm glad you're back, Anastasya. It... It wasn't the same without you."
He opened the door and left, feeling the lightest he had since she'd disappeared.

***

Anastasya

Anya remained in her room for another ten minutes, trying to organise her thoughts. In the more than twenty years that she and Erwin had known one another, she couldn't remember ever seeing him as shaken as he'd been whilst recounting what had happened the day that she'd disappeared. He had seemed so lost and grief-stricken. She supposed she would have been exactly the same were anything to happen to him, Levi or Hange, but seeing him like that had stirred up her own, tumultuous emotions once again. She almost felt as though she didn't belong there anymore, and it more than unsettled her. She sighed and went downstairs to find Levi, who was waiting for her in the empty dining hall. On the table in front of him were two plates consisting of bread, cheese, and cured meats. He looked up from where he lounged in his chair with a cup of tea.
"I didn't think you'd want anything too heavy," he said, gesturing to the plates.
"You're right," she said, taking a seat opposite.
"How was Erwin?"
"Apologetic. He told me what happened, after I fell."
"Huh," he said, uncertainty crossing his face.
"He didn't need to apologise, and neither did you, so let that be the end of whatever guilt you might still be holding on to," she said, giving him a stern look. "You shouldn't have blamed him like you did. You needed one another."
Levi sighed.
"I know, but I wasn't exactly thinking rationally. Did he take you to your old room?"
"Yeah."
"He thought he'd kept the fact that he'd moved all your stuff there a secret, but I've known the whole time. Idiot," he said, though not unkindly.
"He didn't want to let go any more than you, I guess."
"Considering he's known you since you were seven and he held himself solely responsible for what happened, it's not hard to understand why."
"Hmm." She returned her attention to the food in front of her. "Let's see..."
She gingerly bit into a piece of cheese, and then shut her eyes, letting the flavour fill her mouth. When she opened them again, Levi looked faintly amused.
"What?" she asked.
"I don't think I've ever seen anyone look so damn happy about cheese before."
"It's not like there was a huge menu to choose from out there. It was just cooked animals and birds, the occasional egg, and whatever mushrooms and vegetables I could forage."
"You did well," he told her. "I don't know if I could have survived."
"Of course you could," she said, tearing into some meat.
She was surprised he'd managed to procure some, given its scarcity.
"Though, you'd have to get over your aversion to dirt first."
"Tch."
He started to eat his own food, watching her as she chewed. She tipped her head back to look at the ceiling.
"It feels so strange, having a proper roof over me again."
She returned her gaze to Levi, desperate to get up to speed in the hopes she'd feel more like her old self again.
"What's our shifter Titan really like, then? Do we know why he can do it?"
"When he was ten, his mother was eaten by a Titan when Wall Maria fell. He saw it happen. Ever since then, he's been hell-bent on training to kill Titans. He wants to eradicate them."
"Don't we all."
"His father was, or perhaps still is, a doctor, though it's likely he's dead. We think he's somehow responsible for Eren's shifter ability. There's a basement in their house in Shiganshina that he gave Eren the key to. He told him everything would become clear if he went there. We haven't been able to reach it yet, but hopefully that basement really will lead us to some answers."
"I hope so... Who was the black-haired girl with him, in the wagon?"
"Mikasa Ackerman. Eren's family took her in after both of her parents were murdered when she was nine. The doctor was on a routine visit and told Eren to wait outside when he realised both the parents were dead. He wandered off to a nearby outhouse and ran into the three traffickers responsible. They'd captured Mikasa. The brats ended up killing them all and escaped."
"Well, shit," she said. "'Ackerman'... A relation of yours?"
"Probably," he replied. "She's talented, but she's obsessed with Eren. It gets damn annoying when you tell her to do something and all she can think about is protecting him, thinking she knows better than anyone else. That's how I busted my ankle and leg today; she disobeyed my orders and I had to save her ass."
"I'd noticed you were injured," she said, frowning. "Are her feelings reciprocated by Eren?"
"Doesn't look like it. To make matters worse, she has an admirer in one of the other recruits. An arrogant brat called Jean. He's the one that we left our horses with earlier."
"Ah. Such drama," she said, sighing happily.
"You hate drama."
"Not right now I don't. I haven't really had much by way of entertainment these past few months, other than slaughtering Titans."
"How many do you think you killed?" he asked.
"Hmm. Including the ones today... Twenty five?"
Levi paused mid-bite. He slowly lowered the slice of bread he was holding and stared at her.
"Twenty five?"
"Mm," she said, nodding.
"How...?"
"Like I said earlier, I just got really good at using trees and mountains. I also trained Nightmare to be there when I needed to land. I think I broke my tailbone at least once, working on that manoeuvre, but it was worth it. I also trained him to run around with me hanging down from the saddle. It meant I could cut the backs of the Titans' ankles and then finish them off when they fell. Risky, though."
"That brings your tally up to 120."
"I guess it does, yes. What are you on, now?"
"70."
"You'd better catch up, then," she teased. "I do have ten years on you in the Scouts, though."
Levi shook his head, incredulous.
"We've missed your skill," he said. "Maybe you can teach us a thing or two."
"If you think it'd be useful, then sure."
They resumed eating in a comfortable silence until Hange burst in, carrying a tray of tea.
"Can I join?" she asked.
Levi sighed, and Anya patted the space next to her. Hange slid into the seat and handed them both a cup.
"Thanks," she said. "Levi's been telling me about the new recruits."
"Oh, we have some promising ones, don't we? And Eren's Titan ability..."
"How do you think he does it?"
Hange's face lit up, and she suppressed a smile. Her friend's enthusiasm for research was unrivalled.
"Well, he triggers it with self-mutilation. Usually he bites down on his hand, hard, and changes. However, recently we've discovered that he needs a clear goal for changing, too... Like picking up a spoon!" she said.
"Picking up a spoon?" she asked, glancing at Levi, who sighed again.
"He tried to change recently, and it didn't work," he explained. "He was having something to eat afterwards with... with the others, and he dropped a spoon on the ground. He reached for it and suddenly his arm shifted to a Titan limb."
"Oh... That's strange."
"It is, isn't it?!" said Hange. "You'll have to meet him tomorrow and see for yourself!"
She stifled a yawn, and Levi got to his feet.
"Come on; you're falling asleep. I don't blame you, having to listen to Hange."
"Don't be rude," she chided, though she too stood up. "Will you come with me into the city tomorrow, Hange?"
"Sure! Have a good rest," she said, her tone gentler.
"You, too. Thanks for lending me these clothes, by the way."
Hange waved a hand.
"No worries. See you tomorrow. 'Night, Levi."
"Night, Hange," he replied.

***

Levi

Levi knew that any man in his right mind would be trying to be intimate with Anya after over six months of nothing, and so for a moment he considered whether or not he had gone mad as he watched her lighting a few candles. He realised, though, that he hadn't, in fact, lost his mind; he was just utterly exhausted, both physically and emotionally, and she was too.
"I forgot to get nightwear," she said, frowning.
He hobbled over to a drawer and pulled out a long-sleeved top for her.
"Here."
"Thanks."
She pulled off her shirt and he froze again, assessing her injuries and yet at the same time wanting to reconnect with the body he knew better even than his own. She paused in putting on his top and tilted her head slightly.
"I want to... I want to be close again," she said, "but I'm so tired I don't think I'd be able to stay awake, and I want our...reunion... I don't know; I'd prefer it to be when I'm a little more like myself again."
"I'll do whatever you want, when it's right for you, Anya," he told her. "There's no pressure."
She smiled and pulled his top over her thin torso. Due to her drastic weight loss, it almost went down to her knees, despite her being the same height as him. She took off her boots and leggings and got under the bed covers. He wordlessly folded the clothes and placed them on a shelf inside his wardrobe, before removing his own and doing the same with them, conscious of her amethyst gaze following his every move. Finally, he made sure that the door was locked, extinguished the candles, and then climbed in beside Anya. The full moon bathed them both in soft, silver glow, and they lay looking into each other's eyes for some time, at last fully conveying all of the grief, heartache, and relief that they felt, connecting without touching, speaking without words. Anya shifted slightly, and he reached out to move a strand of moon-white hair from across her eyes.
"What is it?"
"I don't know... I'm scared."
"Of what?" he asked, brushing a thumb over her cheek.
"Of being separated from everyone again. I'm scared even of dreaming about it," she confessed, her voice no more than a whisper.
"We'll always find the path back to one another, Anastasya. Hell... I'll never lose you again in the first place."
She answered him by gently pressing her cool lips to his, before scooting back.
"I love you," she said.
He did his best not to sigh with relief. He'd never really doubted it, but to finally hear her say it again, after so long and after everything that had occurred...
"I love you, too," he replied.
She smiled, and he watched as her eyelids fluttered as she fought to stay awake.
"Sleep, Anya. You're safe with me."
It seemed to be all she needed to hear. Moments later, her eyes closed fully, and her breathing became slow and soft. He watched her for as long as he could before, at last, sleep consumed him too.